Just out of curiousity which Nvidia driver is being used? Just because additional drivers says it is installed doesn't mean it is being used. It's been a while since I've used a nvidia card,but I remember when I did that the additional drivers tool didn't always get it right, in which case it would fall back on the vesa driver. This in turn would eat a lot of ram and cause the system to run very slow, especially when trying to play flash videos or do anytning with any kind of graphical intensity. Admitedly I do not use Unity or compiz(makes pretty graphics on the desktop) so my memory usage should be lower than yours, but none the less using three out of four gigs of ram seems like a lot even for unity with full effects.
To find out what driver is being used type in a terminal:
Code:
sudo lshw -c video | grep 'configuration'
also:
Code:
sudo dpkg-reconfigure -phigh xserver-xorg
to make sure xorg was apropriately reconfigured after the driver was installed
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