I just feel so good when I get these type of emails but......

[DougieFresh4U]

I know better.
When will these 'scammers' give up? And it's very sad that some people still fall for it.

I received an Intel from our wiretap internet protocol office that my communication with you have been breached by impostors which have prompted immediate action from my side to make sure that this transaction is secured. Today, I issue you this code for communication (G11) which must be contained both in the subject and at the end of any of my email letter to you, This is for your own good.
2: With instruction from the White House and the United states Department of Homeland Security, I am informing you that you due consignment box containing your total payment fund of US$10,000,000.00 (Ten Million United States Dollars) is approved for release and delivery to you as soon as you fulfill all “OBLIGATION” and offset the refundable "PROOF OF OWNERSHIP CERIFICATE" mandated by the IRS on all consignment that has been in our vault over 3 months.
Note that as i write you now, your funds contained in your consignment box is presently in our maximum storage vault in Atlanta, GA and will only be marked cleared for release once you fulfill all “OBLIGATION" stated on your release questionnaire by Homeland security.
Once I hear from you, I will instruct further.
Regards,
Agent John Edward (G11)

and this one I get alot,

Private Memo
from the desk of Mr Ezekiel Daniel
director Nigeria contract management
and projects supervisor
tele-fax - 234-8055152491
email
Attn
i am Mr Ezekiel Daniel, director contract management and project supervisor federal republic lic of Nigeria , are you not tired of paying fees to people who wants to use your name and money to execute business transactions just for there own selfish interest, how long will you believe in there lies and constant demand for money, you receive quite number of business proposals everyday in and outside Nigeria yet you have not receive one dollar cent in all your dealings, for how long will you trust and believe in those impersonated stories? have you for one day asked yourself why after spending a lot of fees to receive whatever they promised you and nothing was paid to you in the end rather you will receive another proposal totally different with new amount, check within yourself what you have benefited since you engaged yourself into these transactions, have you asked yourself why you receive different business proposal of numerous stories from different countries, why ca nt you think why you keep receivi
READ CAREFULLY
Actually your name appeared on the Nigeria contract manifest booklet as sub-letted beneficiary to receive contract over-invoice amount sum of $6.9million dollars, those people contacting you from all over the world did not guide you properly concerning how this funds was awarded to you rather they used there connections in different countries through banks, security agencies, ministries and institutions to contact you just to extort your hard earned money to sponsor transactions for there own benefit then make you believe that you will receive your funds one day which will never happen because your name is on the government list as sub-letted beneficiary while those crooks where using documents of already paid contracts of the first executor to contact you from different countries like UK, SPAIN, AMERICA, GHANA E.T.C,. those people branded Nigeria with bad names on both local and international scene just because you where claiming something that you don't know how and why it was awarded to you.
finally, i am in the position to set things straight if actually you want to receive your funds, forget those lottery proposals and also proposals you receive from individuals , banks,ministries ETC, the only contract sum awarded to you as a sub-letted beneficiary is paying for supplying of pipeline equipment for Nigeria Power Holding as over invoiced through the Nigeria chambers of commerce any other proposal is fabricated to extort and use you, calculate how much you have spent and time wasted and nothing was paid to you yet you keep receiving series of proposals, well you can continue with them but bear it in mind that you will not receive a cent from them rather you will spend and get frustrated and they will abandon you to suffer even continued to demand for more money even when you can not feed yourself due there deceit and untruthfulness, you trusted and believed them but they stab you when you needed them most to keep to there promises.
waiting for your prompt response
Regards
Mr Ezekiel Daniel

[soloman469]

Such B.S. ...

[greatsirkain]

I LOVE those emails, gives me something entertaining to do on a slow day plus they beat the usual spam "****** made for her but works on men!" or "hiiii!!!!1 - No Subject".

I doubt I'd have much sympathy for anyone that fell for the email you posted because when you get it you know you're not entitled to that amount of money so by jumping through all the hoops you're trying to defraud the government or some other body out of large sums of cash. Saying that the people who send them should probably be beaten to death with something comical.

Edit:I really don't know why that word is starred out (little blue pill) but it's made it look completely obscene

[Buntu Bunny]

Wow, that's some high class looking spam. Mine is always so dull.

[DougieFresh4U]

Good one today.....

THE DESK OF
MR.WILLIAN MILLS
122/124-AKIYODE STREET
TAKORADI-GHANA.

DEAR FRIEND,

MY NAME IS MR.WILLIAN MILLS; I AM THE REGIONAL MANAGER OF A BANK, TAKORADI 
BRANCH IN THE WESTERN REGION OF GHANA. I GOT YOUR INFORMATION ON A RECENT 
BANK CONFERENCE WITH OTHER WEST AFRICAN COUNTRIES HELD IN LOME THE CAPITAL 
CITY OF TOGO IN WEST AFRICA.

I WRITE YOU THIS PROPOSAL IN GOOD FAITH, I AM 56 YEAR OLD MARRIED WITH TWO 
LOVELY KIDS. I HAVE PACKAGED A FINANCIAL TRANSACTION THAT WILL BENEFIT YOU 
AND I,AS THE REGIONAL MANAGER OF A BANK IT IS MY DUTY TO SEND IN A 
FINANCIAL REPORT TO MY HEAD OFFICE IN THE CAPITAL CITY ACCRA AT THE END OF 
EACH BUSINESS YEAR.

ON THE COURSE OF THE LAST YEAR 2012 FINANCIAL BUSINESS REPORT, I
DISCOVERED THAT MY BRANCH IN WHICH I AM THE MANAGER MADE TEN MILLION SIX 
HUNDRED AND EIGHTY THOUSAND US DOLLARS($10,680,000.00) WHICH MY HEAD OFFICE 
ARE NOT AWARE OF AND  WILL NEVER BE AWARE OF.

I HAVE PLACED THIS FUNDS ON WHAT WE CALL ESCROW CALL ACCOUNT WITH NO 
BENEFICIARY. AS AN OFFICER OF THIS BANK I CANNOT BE DIRECTLY CONNECTED TO 
THIS MONEY, SO MY AIM OF CONTACTING YOU IS TO ASSIST ME RECEIVE THIS MONEY 
IN YOUR  BANK ACCOUNT AND GET 30% OF THE TOTAL AS COMMISSION.

THERE ARE PRACTICALLY NO RISK INVOLVED, IT WILL BE A BANK TO BANK
TRANSFER, AND ALL I NEED FROM YOU IS TO STAND CLAIM AS THE ORIGINAL
DEPOSITOR OF THESE FUNDS WHO MADE THE DEPOSIT WITH MY BRANCH SO THAT MY 
HEAD OFFICE CAN ORDER THE TRANSFER TO YOUR DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT. IF YOU 
ACCEPT TO WORK WITH ME I WILL APPRECIATE IT VERY MUCH. WRITE ME IF YOU
THINK WE CAN WORK TOGETHER
SO THAT WE CAN GO OVER THE DETAILS.

THANKS YOU IN ADVANCE AND MAY GOD BLESS
YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
YOURS TRULY,
MR. WILLIAN MILLS.

[lisati]

Good one today.....
<snip>

One wonders if we should offer tech support while they upgrade their equipment to use something newer than punch cards.

[Irihapeti]

I got a good old-fashioned in-the-letterbox one purporting to be from Lloyds of London (yeah, right).

I scanned it and sent it on to the (NZ) Department of Internal Affairs. They put it on their website with other examples of spam.

[PJs Ronin]

Mate, let's do it... we could all be gozillionairs