Re: ftp server
You get connection refused while using an ftp client?
Are you trying from local LAN or outside of your LAN? You should verify you can access the server internally, then open the correct port on your router, pointing to your servers internal ip address. This will allow outside access to the ftp server.
I have never seen instructions like the one you followed for sftp setup. I have no idea what the edits to ssh_config mean, nor why they would be necessary.
According to the instructions you followed, you will likely need user accounts for "yourself". One account will be the normal user for system administration (allowing ssh access) and the second will be your ftp account. Is this what you have done?
Nothing is ever easy, but if it is difficult you must be doing it wrong.