I cannot duplicate your "unresponsive windows" problem, but...
I opened Totem, made a playlist, and danced on them back n' forth for 2-3 minutes -- nothing, no probs, responded just fine.
If you'll notice, I also have Banshee steaming audio, at the same time. Neither player hiccuped once.
I left them both running, while I prepared this post, and danced on the Totem playlist even more, for good measure.
Only thing I'm seeing are a few odd warnings in CLI...
Code:
totvindsl@Zuul:~$ totem
<SNIPPED $#@! fontconfig warning>
(totem:23127): Clutter-Gst-WARNING **: Failed to convert non-scaled coordinates for video-sink
(totem:23127): Cogl-WARNING **: Over 50 separate fragment shaders have been generated which is very unusual, so something is probably wrong!
(totem:23127): Cogl-WARNING **: Over 50 separate programs have been generated which is very unusual, so something is probably wrong!
Sooo, "something is probably wrong!" LoL! 
But, everything is remaining responsive, here. Sorry!
Okay, I'm going to turn off one of these players now, before I go mad!
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