Yeah after searching more and more, and looking through the udev stuff... I think udev could work, but the main thing is the volume management issue. PcmanFM does volume management (better than ever before) but there are no visible options to configure what option is default for a given program. I guess joke444 has the "best" solution for now.... Though
pulls in xfce4-panel and a bunch of other stuff... I suppose nautilus will work too (and probably usurp my desktop background).
sudo apt-get install thunar-volman
So, at this point it seems that I can workaround pcmanfm by learning how to make a udev rule with something like this:
or I can install Xfce4's file manager.... still there seems to be another way somewhere.... What is the config of the volume management for pcmanfm? can I edit that? anyone know?
KERNEL=="sr0", RUN+="/usr/bin/vlc --fullscreen dvd:///dev/sr0"