OK so it depends a bit exactly what you want to do:
1. (easiest) log in normally at the physical machine, and run x11vnc as user on display :0 so that you (or - optionally - anyone else with your vnc password) can connect to and share the same display remotely - something like this *should* work (you may need to set a vnc password with x11vnc -storepasswd if you didn't already)
Code:
x11vnc -rfbauth ~/.vnc/passwd -rfbport 5900 -display :0 -shared -forever -nowf -norc -notruecolor -bg -xkb
2. (more complicated) set up x11vnc to start from the lightdm session so you can do all of the above but also log in remotely via VNC rather than having to start it at the physical machine
http://mlepicki.com/2011/10/remote-v...-ubuntu-11-10/
3. run a completely separate X server / display rather than connecting to the 'real' desktop - I've played with this using tightvncserver and my work server is set up to do it but I don't know much more than that
If you are doing ANY of these outside of a NAT-firewalled LAN, I would STRONGLY recommend ssh tunneling.
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