The "Corrupt a wish" game

[CompyTheInsane]

You become a cookie. I eat you.

I wish to play a game of Quake.

You play Quake to find that it segfaults after respawning.

I wish for either a PCI-E SATA 3 controller or a motherboard with a built-in SATA 3 controller.

[Double.J]

Oh you get your controller... And your i7 with dream cooling, heck we'll throw in 4 way crossfire graphics... It's a wish, and they come true here. only, as you gather the bits to assemble, you find out that due to a manufacturing error the world is now only full of IDE retro-fitted SSD's... You can see the performance, almost feel it, yet your SATA 3 cable must connect to a IDE adapter.... And ubiquity doesn't see the drive!

I wish for good old cartoons like thundercats, transformers and teenage ninja mutant turtles, to come back to our tv... Well my tv; I'm kind of neither here nor there about yours

[Metallion]

They do. They're all directed by Michael Bay. Also they're recorded over the master tapes of the actual old cartoons you mentioned.

I wish cows could fly helicopters.

[auredium]

Cows can fly helicopters, but now all human helicopter pilots are without job and in the A-Team Murdoc has been replaced by a cow called 'Betty' who has Mad-cow decease.

I wish the Earth was made out of jelly.

[robsoles]

You get fat trying to devour it and then you sink into it and drown like all the other (poor) fatties.

I wish it wasn't such yummy smelling jelly

[Metallion]

All the helicows take a huge collective dump. It's yucky smelly jelly now.

I wish my house was a space ship so I should get away from the manure jelly.

[TOMBSTONEV2]

The fuel from the spaceship smells worse than the jelly, you are stuck in stink.
I wish I could have general RAAM as my sidekick

[Metallion]

You get general Raam. Unfortunately the genie was on a holiday in Holland and since raam is Dutch for window, you get a general copy of Windows 98 as your sidekick.

I wish I was Dracula.

[chellrose]

You morph into Dracula for one picosecond.

There now, you *were* Dracula. Not long enough to really enjoy it, but you can't win 'em all.
I wish my cat could keep her own claws trimmed.

[Metallion]

I abduct your cat and teach it to use a nail clipper. I don't giver her back though. Don't worry, I'll give her some milk every now and then.

I wish for my army of death, doom and destruction to prevent silly13 from getting her back.