The "Corrupt a wish" game

[robsoles]

...

I wish the weather would make up its mind!

Granted. Weather made up its mind whether or not to try to destroy the patch of Earth you live on. Enjoy pounding storms frequented by searing hot days and bizarre weather phenomon till it (probably) kills you.

I wish to be fitter than I apparently am.

[auredium]

Granted! You are so fit that your bodymuscles require you to eat a ton of food for every single movement...literally!

I wish that Chuck Norris becomes president of the USA.

[tlhIngan]

Chuck Norris becomes president of the USA and jails everybody that ever read a Chuck Norris fact.
I wish I had sowed my lawn already.

[Metallion]

You have sown your lawn full of piranha plants. Not only do you have to be worried about being eaten alive every time you leave the house, you are now also sued by both Nintendo and whoever made Little Shop of Horrors for copyright infringement.

I wish I had another thing coming.

[greatsirkain]

Another thing comes....All over*ahem*and it's horrible

I wish I had 100 $million USD in unmarked an non-sequential bills put into an off-shore account in my name without any question as to who I am & foolproof biometrics + an angelina jolie clone that was my age[[I'm over 30...I both know and appologise]] (that loved me with out question) serving as my ninja (pvc clad) bank clerk

[Metallion]

Solid Jolie was cloned in the Les Enfants Terrible project and even though she is your age, her purposely shortened lifespan physically turns her into a grandma. Her codename is also changed to Old Jolie although she's still voiced by Daisy Hayter. Btw, she gave all your money away to a leprechaun with a top hat. It was changing you. You used to be so kind and your wealth made you take on such a destructive lifestyle. Only somebody who truly loves you without question could have made this step for you.

I wish to kill the thread killer thread.

[pqwoerituytrueiwoq]

granted, but it re-spawns after 3 seconds

i wish that my cats don't hate me for following vets orders (they have to have seperate food, and they normally have dry food at all times, but can't now)

[S2UIRR3L]

Granted - Your cats aren't getting angry, they're just planning to get even.
I wish to find what I need at one place, be it NewEgg, MicroCenter or Frys.

[pqwoerituytrueiwoq]

granted, but you don't buy everything you need, and you get a doa part

i wish for a rule free wish

[Metallion]

You are freed of all rules including the laws of physics. You just bounce all over the place like Carmageddon in pinball mode. It isn't long before your skulls is cracked open and your brain feasted upon by the zombie apocalypse that appeared out of nowhere.

I wish for Sissy13's cat to save us from the zombie apocalypse.