Coffee yield is so big they start to make everything from it, and a sharp rise in it's price is following soon.
I wish bones were less cracky.
Granted. They now turns to dust on impact. Humanity is doomed. I can already see the insects laughing at us.
I wish the Humble Indie Bundles expired in 100 years so that I could buy them anytime, without missing out of them.
Granted. You are now $1,000,000 in debt.
I wish to have an Ultrabook.
Granted, you've an ultrabook BUT you still won't make too much sense anytime soon.
I wish I didn't have a headache right now
Which is more important in obtaining the truth, "what" or "why"? Trick question. They are of equal importance.
Freely ye have received, freely give.
Granted. You found the password to Bill Gate's bank account buried in a modded kernel. You are now under house arrest.
I wish that I made sense.
You make sense of an obscure, high-level nonlinear physics equation which has no practical application whatsoever. No one else in the world cares about this particular equation. You quit your job and spend the rest of your days as a hermit in the Swiss Alps learning every detail that you can about the equation and its solutions. Your days, however, are short, as you die of starvation because you forgot to eat.
I wish my phone's battery didn't have to be recharged every night.
int main() {
User chellrose;
chellrose.insert_clever_signature();
return 0;}
Granted. Your phone now saps your energy to recharge. Say hello to all-nighter eat-fests!
I wish all food was harmless in all quantities.
"All food" is now harmless in all quantities. However, individual foods and combinations of fewer foods than "all" are now quite harmful in any quantity. Specifically, you will lose 10% of your white blood cells every time you eat any lesser combination of food.
Since it's all but impossible to get your hands on all of the food available in the universe, let alone eat it all at once, you now have a choice between starvation or an immunity level that approaches zero quite rapidly. Enjoy.
I wish healthy foods tasted as good as the "bad" ones like donuts, chocolate, pasta, etc.
int main() {
User chellrose;
chellrose.insert_clever_signature();
return 0;}
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