The "Corrupt a wish" game

[S2UIRR3L]

Granted - you're good enough, and you're in Tokyo... during the biggest Fuji eruption Japan has ever seen in it's history, and the rock lands right on top of your head. You're crushed and burned at the same time.

I wish to catch the bastard who stole my Monster sweater (from my door step when I wasn't home) that I ordered and have been waiting for it to be delivered since DECEMBER LAST YEAR - ARGHHHHHH!!!!!!

[bashhimup]

Granted, but he hid the sweater inside his house in some sort of safe that you cannot unlock.

I wish that Monty Python's Flying Circus was still going.

[Metallion]

It's still going but all cameramen are doing silly walks while filming.

I wish for something completely different.

[S2UIRR3L]

Granted - Something is completely different. Instead of being corrupted, IT'S DESTROYED!!!

I wish for a Bailey's and coffee.

[auredium]

A friendly but rather odd looking barman enters the door; Wish Granted!
You get Baileys and coffee, its without mugs since you didn't wish for that; Fortunatly you can still lick it from the floor.

I wish that every single action in the universe goes instantly without delay or taking up time.

[bashhimup]

Granted, but time couldn't take it anymore and decided to implode.

I wish that I could lucid dream whenever I want.

[Eddy Gordo from Tekken]

Granted: you can lucid dream whenever you want. But each time you lucid dream about supermodels, world domination, or kittens, your physical self is left to the wimsy of The Gimp from pulp fiction...I suggest you stay asleep.

I wish Salma Hayek would hug me, passionetly, lovingly, with purpose of bedroom 'things' to come.

[Metallion]

She does for 3 seconds because she's so grateful that you agreed to move all her bedroom furniture to her new bedroom 3 stories above the current one... using the stairs. Now get to work!

I wish the Tokyo trains turned into Donkey Kong Country mine carts for one day.

[auredium]

The faith sound of a trainwistle can be heard in the distance: Wish Granted!
All trains in Tokyo turn into Donkey Kong Minecards. Unfortunatly since one train equals one minecard there is now a shortage of space for passengers; have fun being stuck in a single minecard with eighty other people!

I wish that Dr. Wily becomes ruler of the Earth!

[S2UIRR3L]

Granted - Dr. Wily becomes ruler of the Earth... Then there's a power surge and your Sega Genesis is toast (sorry).

I wish for a good electronic cigarette.