The "Corrupt a wish" game

[pqwoerituytrueiwoq]

granted, you loose out on one on one time with your girlfriend, What does her name mean?

I wish i could do that with my avi [relavent]

[Metallion]

On its own the kanji means bell.

You get the most beautiful sexy girlfriend you could ever imagine. She never did tell you about her compulsive hate for her name appearing in an image online though. She also happens to be an Olympic medallist in the dough roller whacking discipline.

I wish to borrow her dough roller so I can make quiche lorraine.

[tlhIngan]

You do, but then she gets upset and asks you who's this Lorraine and wacks you with the dough roller.
I wish my rain barrel would thaw out so that the eavesthroughs can actually do their thing.

[robsoles]

your rain barrel thaws out but for some reason the eavesthroughs still don't do their thing, this annoys you so much you practically destroy the barrel and several other related items trying to make it all do its thing. Too bad.


I wish to know everything but at a reasonable rate as to not make my head explode or anything silly like that.

[tlhIngan]

You do, but by the time you know everything, half the stuff you learnt is no longer relevant and the other half is out of date.
I wish carb cleaner would dry faster.

[Metallion]

Some scientist invents a giant straw which attracts an equally giant space hamster from outer space that drinks all of the earth's water supply through it. Everything's dry instantly now. Yes, the hamster was from such deep space that I had to write space twice.

I wish Skeletor lived in my basement.

[robsoles]

Skeletor moves in and the first thing he does (straight after unpacking at least) is to off you - yep, killed you dead he did and you never got to hang with him.

I wish I'd managed what I did earlier months ago.

[Metallion]

You did but then your current self didn't have anything to do earlier. Your current self is so pissed at your past self for taking away the pleasure of doing what you did earlier that you travel back in time and engage in a real life Mortal Kombat match. You win and successfully perform a fatality on yourself, causing you to conveniently disappear from existence. The last place trophy is given to your family as a condolence which causes all posters from that thread to vandalize your grave.

Now that I'm killed by Skeletor, I wish to be a ghost that haunts the women's dressing room at that sports club down the road.

[tlhIngan]

You do, but ghosts probably don't exist. So after being killed by Squeletor, you've turned into something that doesn't exist, so you're definitely gone now.
I wish I hadn't forgotten to plug that thing back in earlier.

[zombifier25]

Granted. An electrical plug is plugged into the Thing (of Fantastic Four fame), who then goes mad and kills you.

I wish for a 10x performance improvement for my machine without anything else changing.