The "Corrupt a wish" game

[tlhIngan]

They are, but you can't spell proprietary.
I wish I could sleep early again.

[pqwoerituytrueiwoq]

granted but you wake up late every time

i wish for this wish to be granted

[tlhIngan]

Granted, but it's being recalled for safety concerns.
I wish for a very good idea.

[S2UIRR3L]

You get your idea, along with amnesia and forget what the idea was about.

I wish for a new (not wireless) gaming keyboard, and a new gaming mouse (also not wireless).

[tlhIngan]

Granted, but the 2-year-old somebody dropped off at your place went nuts with the scissors, not everything's wire-less.
I wish my garden hose would thaw so I can wash the car.

[pqwoerituytrueiwoq]

granted, but when the ice froze it expanded and damaged the hose so it leaks in various places
maybe next time you will get the water out of it before it freezes

i wish null was tangible

[Metallion]

Null in the English dictionary is now defined as pricetech's anvil falling on your head. It happens every time there's a nullpointer exception in any piece of code anywhere on the planet.

I wish I lived in a Super Mario ghost house.

[tlhIngan]

You do, except it isn't super, your name isn't Mario and there aren't any ghosts.
I wish I knew what your avatar means.

[pqwoerituytrueiwoq]

granted, it pops in to your head like magic, then you forget it

i wish metallion would post the translation, cause i want to know

[Metallion]

It's my girlfriend's name. I bet you were expecting something a lot cooler than just some hopeless romantic. Wish autocorrupted.

I wish I could sleep as much as I wanted and still get over this jetlag I've got.