The "Corrupt a wish" game

[pqwoerituytrueiwoq]

granted, you get to sleep during lectures

i wish this wish void

[robsoles]

Granted but your wish returned an integer

I wish for reasonable event handlers

[Metallion]

I code a set of event handlers for you that will actively reason with you over every event you want them to handle. Also I charge you 40 000 yen per day for the work. Since I'm essentially a professional developer, I think that's reasonable.

I wish to put a giant cork in Mt. Fuji's crater.

[S2UIRR3L]

Granted... Someone throws a bunch of seeds into the mouth of the volcano and a forest of cork trees soon starts growing, only to be set a blaze with a small eruption.

I wish I knew how to use one of my computers to record Survivor Philippines so I can watch it when I get home from work, instead of using my really old VCR.

[rasmus91]

Your computer will now record, but it requires a password that is unknown to you to let you watch it.

I wish i was the one to invent AI, friendly AI, not like in almost all movies.

[Metallion]

First of all let me tell how happy we at Metallion Fairy Godmother Inc. are that you came to us with your wish. Here's what we're going to do. First we'll make an appointment with our business partner, Lord of Time. We'll use his tardis to go back to 2006 when I was in AI class at uni making a vaccuum cleaner that cleans a grid based room. We'll let you invent away at that while Metallion from the past goes and drink a beer. That'll be 5 golden ingots and your first born please.

I wish I wasn't feeling so bad about taking away that first born from its loving parents now.

[zombifier25]

Granted. Your face is now all over the national news as a notorious baby killer and a prize of 10000$ is promised to whoever managed to capture you, dead or zombified.

I wish Rumpelstiltskin's real name was John.

[pydsigner]

Granted. Now your name is Rumpelstiltskin.

[Sissy13]

You forgot to post a wish. In my attempt to corrupt your non-wish, I create a black hole over your location. Nice knowing ya.

I wish there were a 6-day weekend a few times per year.

[S2UIRR3L]

Granted - you lose your job and have as much time as you want/need.

I wish for the ultimate cup of coffee!