Two ways I can think of to disable it:
Remove all the per-runlevel startup links:
Code:
sudo update-rc.d -f ssh remove
Or make the startup script non-executable:
Code:
sudo chmod 644 /etc/init.d/ssh
I can't guarantee it won't get reenabled the next time you install updates to openssh-server.
I never thought of sshd as being a resource hog, but more of a necessary component of any server. If you want the best of both worlds (services available, but not running until you actually use them) you can install either xinetd or openbsd-inetd and configure them to run on-connect from there. Looking at one of my servers, sshd is using 1000 kb, and inetd is using 548 kb.
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