Crap.. I still can't get the RAM below 200 megabytes. At least 3 instances of apache have to run at the same time, and 2 instances of samba as well.
I run into the same thing on my VPS until I decided to go with lighttpd and good bye Apache...
now I have
Lighttpd
ProFTPd
Dovecot (not authorizing yet ;-( )
Postfix
under 170 MB
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