I'm back!
Everything seems to be OK, all I've had to do is change the default sessions for each user (mine to Openbox, my mums to Gnome) and also change the theme back to clearlooks for the Gnome session.
I'm now down to only 77MB in use for the Crunchbang installation giving me much more RAM to play with.
Mission accomplished
Cheesemill
LXDE is lighter than XFCE (I believe the memory footprint difference is about 20megs).
It's just that Xubuntu-desktop is supported by canonical, whereas #! isn't... getting help for issues with your ubuntu system would be more difficult as system behavior is difficult to predict with this combination. as lykwydchykyn said, it might have been better to install lxde and openbox.
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