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Thread: Best nerd / computer jokes

  1. #21
    Join Date
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    Re: Best nerd / computer jokes

    Converting pi to binary: Don't do it!
    by Keith F. Lynch <www.keithlynch.net>

    Warning: Do not calculate Pi in binary. It is conjectured that this number is normal, meaning that it contains all finite bit strings.

    If you compute it, you will be guilty of:

    * Copyright infringement (of all books, all short stories, all newspapers, all magazines, all web sites, all music, all movies, and all software, including the complete Windows source code)

    * Trademark infringement

    * Possession of child pornography

    * Espionage (unauthorized possession of top secret information)

    * Possession of DVD-cracking software

    * Possession of threats to the President

    * Possession of everyone's SSN, everyone's credit card numbers, everyone's PIN numbers, everyone's unlisted phone numbers, and everyone's passwords

    * Defaming Islam. Not technically illegal, but you'll have to go into hiding along with Salman Rushdie.

    * Defaming Scientology. Which is illegal -- just ask Keith Henson.

    Also, your computer will contain all of the nastiest known computer viruses. In fact, all of the nastiest possible computer viruses.

    Some of the files on my PC are intensely personal, and I for one don't want you snooping through a copy of them.

    You might get away with computing just a few digits, but why risk it? There's no telling how far into Pi you can go without finding the secret documents about the JFK assassination, a photograph of your neighbor's six year old daughter doing the nasty with the family dog, or a complete copy of the not-yet-released Pearl Harbor movie. So just don't do it.

    The same warning applies to e, the square root of 2, Euler's constant, Phi, the cosine of any non-zero algebraic number, and the vast majority of all other real numbers.

    There's a reason why these numbers are always computed and shown in decimal, after all.
    I try to treat the cause, not the symptom. I avoid the terminal in instructions, unless it's easier or necessary. My instructions will work within the Ubuntu system, instead of breaking or subverting it. Those are the three guarantees to the helpee.

  2. #22
    NoaHall is offline Iced Blended Vanilla Crème Ubuntu
    Join Date
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    Ubuntu 9.10 Karmic Koala

    Re: Best nerd / computer jokes

    That wasn't funny.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    May 2006
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    36

    Re: Best nerd / computer jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by 3rdalbum View Post
    Converting pi to binary: Don't do it!
    by Keith F. Lynch <www.keithlynch.net>

    Warning: Do not calculate Pi in binary. It is conjectured that this number is normal, meaning that it contains all finite bit strings.

    If you compute it, you will be guilty of:

    * Copyright infringement (of all books, all short stories, all newspapers, all magazines, all web sites, all music, all movies, and all software, including the complete Windows source code)

    * Trademark infringement

    * Possession of child pornography

    * Espionage (unauthorized possession of top secret information)

    * Possession of DVD-cracking software

    * Possession of threats to the President

    * Possession of everyone's SSN, everyone's credit card numbers, everyone's PIN numbers, everyone's unlisted phone numbers, and everyone's passwords

    * Defaming Islam. Not technically illegal, but you'll have to go into hiding along with Salman Rushdie.

    * Defaming Scientology. Which is illegal -- just ask Keith Henson.

    Also, your computer will contain all of the nastiest known computer viruses. In fact, all of the nastiest possible computer viruses.

    Some of the files on my PC are intensely personal, and I for one don't want you snooping through a copy of them.

    You might get away with computing just a few digits, but why risk it? There's no telling how far into Pi you can go without finding the secret documents about the JFK assassination, a photograph of your neighbor's six year old daughter doing the nasty with the family dog, or a complete copy of the not-yet-released Pearl Harbor movie. So just don't do it.

    The same warning applies to e, the square root of 2, Euler's constant, Phi, the cosine of any non-zero algebraic number, and the vast majority of all other real numbers.

    There's a reason why these numbers are always computed and shown in decimal, after all.
    I would ease up on the red smarties.

  4. #24
    Join Date
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    Funny Key Signing Comic

    Attached Images Attached Images

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
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    Kubuntu

    Re: Best nerd / computer jokes

    My Dad recently sent me this link:

    http://www.ariel.com.au/jokes/The_Ev...rogrammer.html

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
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    Freiburg/Germany
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    Ubuntu 12.10 Quantal Quetzal

    Re: Best nerd / computer jokes

    ClassicMenu Indicator - classic GNOME menu for Unity
    Unsettings - configuration program for the Unity
    Privacy Indicator - easily switch privacy settings in Unity
    Arronax - create and modify app starters

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