This is what you must do, get another pc set it up next to the one you are using now and load up this page.. http://wiki.archlinux.org/index.php/Beginners%27_Guide
Then install Arch linux on your PC. There will be pain and tears and hours of hair pulling frustration but in the end when you have come through all that everything will seam so much better.
Best of all though you will be able to look down at those using ubuntu while they look down on those using windows, I don't know who looks down on people who use arch, I know there must be some some place as I can feel them watching me.. But! when I find out I'll be sure to join them.