Favorite computer related quote?

[phantomjoker]

Title says it all - post away!

[phantomjoker]

Software and cathedrals are much the same - first we build them, then we pray

- Anonymous Preacher

[sisco311]

Sex the unix way: unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; umount; sleep; exit 0

[RedPandaFox]

Designing pages in HTML is like having sex in a bathtub. If you dont know much about sex, it wont help to know alot about bathtubs

[markbuntu]

Where is the "any" key?

[scragar]

"...that's the recycle bin, all my deleted word documents go there."
"What happens if you just delete them?"
"Word would run out of empty pages for me to write on"
:D I win.

[Ptero-4]

There´s one thing computers and air conditioners have in common. If your have windows both are useless.

[jimi_hendrix]

i picked this one up from someones signature but ive seen it else were too:

there are 10 types of people in the world, those who know binary and those who dont

[beercz]

“640K ought to be enough for anybody.” -Bill Gates (1981) (allegedly)

[scragar]

“640K ought to be enough for anybody.” -Bill Gates (1981) (allegedly)


he did say that(although the point of it being for computing back then was somewhat implied, so the phrase isn't as bad as it sounds).

[merlin051]

In a world without walls and fences, who needs windows and gates?

Edit: Took that from someone's sig on here, gave me a chuckle

[jhenager]

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

[irrdev]

There is no place like 127.0.0.1!

[pp.]

There is no place like 127.0.0.1!

There is no place like localhost?

[scragar]

I think that reads better as:
There is no place like ~/

:p

[oldrocker99]

To err is human, but to really foul things up, it takes a computer.

:guitar:

[pp.]

It's in the very nature of the surprise that you don't expect it.

[smartboyathome]

My favorite:

Person 1: I've got a program that can hack u, so don't mess with me.
Person 2: Do you now? then prove it. Hack me, my address is 127.0.0.1.
Person 1: You are stupid. I'm gonna make you pay for it.
Person 2: I'm waiting...
Person 1: You have a frie wall! No fair! Turn it off you girl!
Person 2: Fine, there, its off, now hack me.
Person 1: You are even stupider than I previously thought.
Person 2: I'm still waiting...
Person 1: Don't worry, I'm deleting your G:\ drive now.
Person 1: G:\ drive gone, deleting F:\ drive
<etc etc> snip
Person 1: Goodbye idiot, I'm starting to delete you're C:\ drive.
Person 2: Bye! :D
*Person 1 has been disconnected

Classic. ;)

[crazyness003]

nice.

I got one

Computers arent smarter than us. they're just high speed idiots. - A teacher from school.

[damis648]

Not exactly a quote but I love how my CompSci teacher always calls it "Internet Exploiter"...:popcorn:

[crazyness003]

rofl

I have a short story to tell.

My cousin (20yo) was trying to watch a youtube video, and it wouldnt work, since at that exact time they youtube servers bere being maintained. so he looked at ma, after repeated attempts and said:
'Is the internet broken?"

[pokapeski]

love this thread. i had quite some laughs with some of the quotes you guys posted.:)
here comes a classic unanonimous one.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. - Rich Cook

[crazyness003]

A funneh quote from this guy's sig
Some people says that if you play a Windoze Vista install DVD backwards you will hear demon voices commanding you to worship Satan". But that's nothing. If you play it forward it will install Windoze Vista.

[ajcham]

My favorite:

Originally Posted by some blog
Person 1: I've got a program that can hack u, so don't mess with me.
Person 2: Do you now? then prove it. Hack me, my address is 127.0.0.1.
Person 1: You are stupid. I'm gonna make you pay for it.
Person 2: I'm waiting...
Person 1: You have a frie wall! No fair! Turn it off you girl!
Person 2: Fine, there, its off, now hack me.
Person 1: You are even stupider than I previously thought.
Person 2: I'm still waiting...
Person 1: Don't worry, I'm deleting your G:\ drive now.
Person 1: G:\ drive gone, deleting F:\ drive
<etc etc> snip
Person 1: Goodbye idiot, I'm starting to delete you're C:\ drive.
Person 2: Bye!
*Person 1 has been disconnected

Classic. ;)

I'm pretty sure there was a UF (http://www.userfriendly.org/) strip along those lines.

Anyway, one that I always liked was:

The only people who have anything to fear from free software are those whose products are worth even less.

[LinuxGuy1234]

"In a perfect world, everything works. But it doesn't."

[pinged]

Decided to try start off this thread again so heres an anti-apple one

In world where everything is free, who needs jobs:lolflag:

[crazyness003]

"If they use Apple, tell 'em we're PC. If they use PC, tell 'em we're Apple. And if they got both, tell 'em we use Linux. And if they got that, tell 'em the computers are down. They should be anyhow ;)"
-Ralph Henderson, "Pop Copy", The Chappelle Show

I woulda linked it, but its not really....safe :D

[Lostin60's]

Saw this somewhere in the forums.
The worlds biggest oxymoron....Microsoft Works
For those of you who are post Win98 users, WsWorks was kind of a cut down version of Office that came bundled with windows.
aa

[crazyness003]

Saw this somewhere in the forums.

For those of you who are post Win98 users, WsWorks was kind of a cut down version of Office that came bundled with windows.
aa
Hey dont bash MS Works! It was the shizzle, esp when you vould put in those sweet 256color clip arts!

I think the best quote is What would you like to do today?
Reply: BSOD

[MikeTheC]

nice.

I got one

Computers arent smarter than us. they're just high speed idiots. - A teacher from school.

Quite possibly your teacher may have been borrowing from this Doctor Who (Tom Baker era) quote:

"The trouble with computers is they are very sophisticated idiots."

[phantomjoker]

right, it's been a while since this thread started, i've read every one, and i have found another great quote - the programmers cycle:

1. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free.

2. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found.

3. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren't really bugs.

4. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn't work and discovers 15 new bugs.

5. See 3.

6. See 4.

7. See 5.

8. See 6.

9. See 7.

10. See 8.

11. Due to marketing pressure and an extremely pre-mature product announcement based on overly-optimistic programming schedule, the product is released.

12. Users find 137 new bugs.

13. Original programmer, having cashed his royalty check, is nowhere to be found.

14. Newly-assembled programming team fixes almost all of the 137 bugs, but introduce 456 new ones.

15. Original programmer sends underpaid testing department a postcard from Fiji. Entire testing department quits.

16. Company is bought in a hostile takeover by competitor using profits from their latest release, which had 783 bugs.

17. New CEO is brought in by board of directors. He hires programmer to redo program from scratch.

18. Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free....

[Lostin60's]

Hey dont bash MS Works! It was the shizzle, esp when you vould put in those sweet 256color clip arts!

I think the best quote is
Reply: BSOD

Bash MS Works? No, I was bashing MS in toto. You do know what an oxymoron is, right? Like "thundering silence" or "Military Intelligence" Basically, it's a figure of speech that combines 2 normally contradictory terms
aa

[Spherical]

Vista is like an extra thick condom. More safe but slightly less fun....
Hah, even viruses have compatibility issues >_<
bash.org still has some funny things :)

[crazyness003]

Bash MS Works? No, I was bashing MS in toto. You do know what an oxymoron is, right? Like "thundering silence" or "Military Intelligence" Basically, it's a figure of speech that combines 2 normally contradictory terms
aa
i know. i was being sarcastic. Did I mention the sarcasm? no? hm.
Anyway, heres one, I forgot who says it (nevermind), but i've heard it almost everywhere:
The Internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck. It's a series of tubes, and if you don't understand, those tubes can be filled. And if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and it's going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.
I just the other day got - an Internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why? Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the Internet commercially.

Read the full article here: http://www.commondreams.org/headlines06/0715-06.htm
EDIT:Also, listen to this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f99PcP0aFNE
ANOTHER EDIT: Heres some lol: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cZC67wXUTs&NR=1

[Circus-Killer]

There are 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't...

[CrazyArcher]

"I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."

[donkyhotay]

I love the 'rootless root' koans. I've posted two below but the rest can be found at http://catb.org/esr/writings/unix-koans/

=================================================

Master Foo and the Script Kiddie

A stranger from the land of Woot came to Master Foo as he was eating the morning meal with his students.

“I hear y00 are very l33t,” he said. “Pl33z teach m3 all y00 know.”

Master Foo's students looked at each other, confused by the stranger's barbarous language. Master Foo just smiled and replied: “You wish to learn the Way of Unix?”

“I want to b3 a wizard hax0r,” the stranger replied, “and 0wn ever3one's b0xen.”

“I do not teach that Way,” replied Master Foo.

The stranger grew agitated. “D00d, y00 r nothing but a p0ser,” he said. “If y00 n00 anything, y00 wud t33ch m3.”

“There is a path,” said Master Foo, “that might bring you to wisdom.” The master scribbled an IP address on a piece of paper. “Cracking this box should pose you little difficulty, as its guardians are incompetent. Return and tell me what you find.”

The stranger bowed and left. Master Foo finished his meal.

Days passed, then months. The stranger was forgotten.

Years later, the stranger from the land of Woot returned.

“Damn you!” he said, “I cracked that box, and it was easy like you said. But I got busted by the FBI and thrown in jail.”

“Good,” said Master Foo. “You are ready for the next lesson.” He scribbled an IP address on another piece of paper and handed it to the stranger.

“Are you crazy?” the stranger yelled. “After what I've been through, I'm never going to break into a computer again!”

Master Foo smiled. “Here,” he said, “is the beginning of wisdom.”

On hearing this, the stranger was enlightened.

===============================

Master Foo and the Nervous Novice

There was a novice who learned much at the Master's feet, but felt something to be missing. After meditating on his doubts for some time, he found the courage to approach Master Foo about his problem.

“Master Foo,” he asked “why do Unix users not employ antivirus programs? And defragmentors? And malware cleaners?”

Master Foo smiled, and said “When your house is well constructed, there is no need to add pillars to keep the roof in place.”

The novice replied “Would it not be better to use these things anyway, just to be certain?”

Master Foo reached for a nearby ball of string, and began wrapping it around the novice's feet.

“What are you doing?” the novice asked in surprise.

Master Foo replied simply: “Tying your shoes.”

Upon hearing this, the novice was enlightened.

[Ptero-4]

Coupla computer-ish quotes got over the web. John Connor´s geekyness (he really loves his oversized PC) get´s outright exposed.
JC:I need her. She saved my life. She saves my life!

A funneh quote from this guy's sig
I got an updated version as my current sig.

[spupy]

make install
not war

[Lunx]

Pre-wireless days

Tech Support: "If you don't have a phone line, you can't connect to the Internet."
Customer: "That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. You guys need to do something about that if you want people to be happy with your service!" (click)

[Leo Dragonheart]

I think my favorite one is :

Satan looked at Vista and said, Damn, why didn't I think of that?

Seen it on the forums...

I am still laughing about this oxymoron though: The worlds biggest oxymoron....Microsoft Works :lolflag:

[crazyness003]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a8/Windows_XP_BSOD.png

[prongs298]

:D:D:D:D:D:D i see that a lot!!!!!!

[crazyness003]

after hitting the power button
"your computer is starting up"
...

nooooo. srlsy?!