Stuck in an elevator

[tom66]

This used to be a regular game that would be played on another forum, before it's database crashed, and it hasn't been up since. Anyways, the idea of the game is that you are stuck in an imaginary elevator, which has space for an infinite amount of people. The elevator is broken, and we must make it to 1,000 posts before the doors open. Inside the elevator, everything is broken except the lights, wall, floor, ceiling and gravity. That means you can bend the laws of physics.

I'll start...

Shreaks randomly then boots up laptop.

[eragon100]

Walks to the emergency telefone and calls for help in getting us out.

[tom66]

Telephone mysteriously disintegrates in hand, then keypad explodes and the part of the wall where the telephone was falls down and hits the bottom of the shaft along with telephone. Then even more mysteriously a wall appears again where the old wall was without a phone.

"It is apparent that this elevator is insistent on us being stuck in here"

[alphane]

A hose appears from the ceiling fixtures, and a steady flow of a clear liquid begins pouring in...

[maybeway36]

There's no reception on the cell phone, but you can still play the snake game, until the cell phone dies submerged in the liquid. Darn! I was almost to level 5!

[Joeb454]

darn...I thought it said love in an elevator (what a cool song)

[eragon100]

"Love in a elevator?

I don't think that's a good idea, whe need to keep our wits if we're going to get out of here :wink: "

*gets a blanket I have in my travel bag and uses it to stop the liquid pouring in*

[joshdudeha]

Find my girlfriend and make out with her (:


I dont have a girlfriend atm :| XD

[tom66]

*The water must be going somewhere...*
*There seems to be an air vent going down ... wait ... an air vent!*

"I'll pull it off!"

*Pulls off cover, but it is electrified*

"D'oh!"

[eragon100]

"Huh? there is still water? I thought I stopped the flow with my banket!"

*Rushes over to help tom66 up and gets thanked for kindness*

[tom66]

You stopped the flow, but there was still unneccessary flow on the ground!

"Thank you for helping me, the self-appointed dictator of this elevator in Tuxtonia, Tuxlandia, Tuxworld, Tuxaly, Tuxverse. I now proclaim that pi is not exactly three. After that, I now resign."

[eragon100]

*Doesn't like dictators*

*Decides to find some way to remove the dictator from power and free the people*

[LinuxRocks713]

Stick a copy of Windows 98SE up the dictator. Then tell it to walk into a wall so that he/she blue-screens.

[TenPlus1]

Forces open the hatch in the ceiling only to be flooded by a brilliant orange light... wft!

[Nano Geek]

Realizes that TenPlus1 activated the self-destruct and that the orange light is the warning light.

Will destruct in 10 sec.

10...9...8...7...6...5....

[chucky chuckaluck]

steps over to the bar and orders a drink. "leave the bottle. it's gonna be a long thread."

[Nano Geek]

Get's mad at Chucky for not carring about the rest of us.

4...3...2...1..........:shock:

[smartboyathome]

*Uses Ubuntu to erase the elevator's programming and replace it with Ubuntu itself*

*starts playing music* :p

[Nano Geek]

Turns down the music as it gives me a headache.

Wonders when they will fix the elevator.

Becomes depressed. :(

[chucky chuckaluck]

Get's mad at Chucky for not carring about the rest of us.

4...3...2...1..........:shock:

laughs off whatever the hell his name is's anger and pours another drink.

[Nano Geek]

Makes Chucky disappear so that he can't bother me any more.

[maybeway36]

Remembers that the elevator is now running on Ubuntu and installs KDE 4.1 alongside GNOME.

[Yannick Le Saint kyncani]

Hopes that intrepid will fix the elevator issue.

This could take a while :(

[Nano Geek]

Wonders if there is anyway to get out without writing so much.

Installs XFCE next to KDE and GNOME

[lukjad007]

Tries to to fix problem by hitting Ctrl+Alt+Backspace
The phone reappears as well as the keypad.
He notices that it is an alphanumeric keypad.

[Nano Geek]

Types "sudo umount -f us", but I can't remember the root password.

[Yannick Le Saint kyncani]

Types "sudo umount -f us", but I can't remember the root password.

The elevator notices the connection attempt and starts randomly moving stuff in /home/us/, now people inside the elevator are randomly teleported but no one seems to get out.

[eragon100]

*Realizes that we will never be able to get out even if they fix the elevator, because it's infinetely large and there are an infinite number of people inside :( *

[maybeway36]

Calculates phi in his head to 15 digits.

[tom66]

*tries to unmount the elevator door*

sudo: requires permissions greater than root; crazy!

[joshdudeha]

Turns down the music as it gives me a headache.

Wonders when they will fix the elevator.

Becomes depressed. :(

When we've reached 1000 posts (:

*plays guitar man*

[eragon100]

*Gets iritated and starts banging head into elevator wall, causing a general panic*

[tom66]

*presses panic button*
*weird green gas sprays in*

[maybeway36]

Breathes in green gas and starts sparkling and playing music. Wishes he had some goombas to run over.

[jimi_hendrix]

*plays guitar man*

takes his guitar and begins to rock

'SCUSE ME WHILE I KISS THE SKY

[eragon100]

*Gets headache from the music, start walking to the other side of infinitely large elevator, because I am bored*

[jimi_hendrix]

*Gets headache from the music, start walking to the other side of infinitely large elevator, because I am bored*

makes the power of rock follow eragon on his walk to the end of the elevator

[eragon100]

*Turns around to face jimi_hendrix and yells, "Brisingr!"*

*Huge blue fireball shoots forward from my hand and kills jimi_hendrix*

"Great! Now I can go get some sleep. I will be doing things again tomorrow morning. Good night everyone!"

*Lies down on the floor and falls into a deep sleep*

[maybeway36]

Sleeping bags and pillows drop from the ceiling.

[Superkoop]

*takes out MP3 player*

*puts earbuds in*

*wishes this would hurry up*

*lays on top of sleeping bag*

*puts pillow behind head*

*hits the wall, holds out hand, and watches an apple fall in hand*

*eats apple, and closes eyes*

[eragon100]

*Awakes*

"Good morning everyone!"

[eragon100]

*Gets bored because nobody responds, install The Battle for Wesnoth on the ubuntu elevator, and starts slaughtering some elves*

"Hey guys, wake up! We have to reach 1000 posts to get outta here!"

[tom66]

*pulls off elevator control panel*
*inside there are twenty wires; all blue except for the last one, which is slightly less blue*
*manual says cut the blue wire to open the doors*
*decides manual is wrong; cuts all wires*
*an ominous creaking noise comes from above*

"Uh oh; maybe I shouldn't have done that..."

[use a name]

Then suddenly the doors open.

[tom66]

They quickly close on your finger.

Ow that ....

[jimi_hendrix]

*jimi_hendrix rematerializes and challenges eragon to a dual in wesnoth*

[eragon100]

"Cool idea, Jimi_hendrix! When? I am going on a 12 day holiday tomorrow morning, but tonight would be fun!"

[use a name]

Just out of curiosity: Where's the bathroom?

[tom66]

There's a door over there.

[use a name]

Which only opens after some 950 more posts?

[tom66]

You got it.

[Superkoop]

*batteries die in mp3 player*

"Does anyone have a AAA battery?"

[Nano Geek]

*Makes porta-potty appear for the convenience of all.

[use a name]

Ah, that's a relief.

[jimi_hendrix]

"Cool idea, Jimi_hendrix! When? I am going on a 12 day holiday tomorrow morning, but tonight would be fun!"

just tell me ur in game name

[tom66]

"Don't worry, I'll come to the rescue!"

*Grabs 9 volt battery, and pocket-knife* (because EVERYBODY just has a 9 volt battery lying around)
*Strips off casing*
*Peels back metal*
*Aha! Quadruple-A batteries!*
*They'll fit, and there's six of them!*

http://lifehacker.com/software/macgyver/macgyver-tip-use-a-9+volt-battery-as-emergency-aaas-224159.php

[eragon100]

just tell me ur in game name

Eragon :wink:

Yours?

[jimi_hendrix]

jimi_hendrix add me ill be on later

[smartboyathome]

Then suddenly the doors open.

*steps through doors, and they suddenly close, hears a creaking and then a lound whirr, and notices there is a keypad by the door that I just came out. I am in another, equally large and infinate, elevator. Installs arch on this one and then plays with pacman.* :lolflag:

[Superkoop]

"Don't worry, I'll come to the rescue!"

*Grabs 9 volt battery, and pocket-knife* (because EVERYBODY just has a 9 volt battery lying around)
*Strips off casing*
*Peels back metal*
*Aha! Quadruple-A batteries!*
*They'll fit, and there's six of them!*


"Ah, thanks man!"
*sticks one of them in mp3 player, and puts earbuds back in*

*closes eyes and replaces the batteries as each dies*

[powerpleb]

*feels a growing itch on his fists and a twitch under his left eye*

[Superkoop]

"Stupid batteries lasted me like 15min each!"

*put's mp3 player in pocket*

"Well now, if I can make apples fall from the ceiling, maybe I could make my girlfriend fall from it too!"

*hits the wall*

*Another apple falls and hits face*
:mad:

:'(

[maybeway36]

Watches goings-on with amusement.

[FuturePilot]

*Plays with elevator buttons*
*one button falls out*
*quickly hides it*

No one saw that!

[tom66]

Twitch.

I NEED A COMPUTER!!!

[jimi_hendrix]

Twitch.

I NEED A COMPUTER!!!

*hands tom a computer*

you can bend the laws of physics remember?

so you can have windows that works

[use a name]

Anyone got a teleporter?

[jimi_hendrix]

who leaves home without one?

[Superkoop]

*sits down and pouts about girlfriend not falling through the ceiling*

[cc7gir]

**Bill Gates walks in with a team of Microsoft Software Engineers**

Bill Gates: "Please no one Panic, tomorrow, I will release a new version of Windows that that can fix the elevator, open the door, make batteries last longer, run very smooth, and have a customizable BSOD ~*"

~* Blue Screen of Death


*** 2 years Later ***
Bill Gates: "Alright, seems like this project is going no where.... what is everyone else doing these days?"

....

[tom66]

*Meanwhile, I bent the laws of physics and grabbed me a magic wand*
*Tada... Nice new laptop*
*Plugs parellel cable into interface port and into laptop...*
*Compiles a short program:*


#include <liftio.h>
#include <stdio.h>

#define LIFT_STATE NOT_BROKEN
#define NOT_BROKEN WORKING
#define WORKING TRUE

int main()
{
Lift *l;

if(l->state == LIFT_STATE)
{
if(LIFT_STATE == NOT_BROKEN)
{
Door *d;

_force_open(d);
_flush_mem(d);
}
else
{
printf("We're screwed. \n");
return 0;
}
}

return 1;
}



*Runs:*

We're screwed.
Segmentation fault because the lift said so.

[jimi_hendrix]

*Meanwhile, I bent the laws of physics and grabbed me a magic wand*
*Tada... Nice new laptop*


why do that with the wand...why not just materialize a new laptop

*bends the laws of physics to finally understand C++ pointers*

see

since were here for a while...

*begins work on the following: Quake 5, Diablo 4, a new os that isn't based on unix or dos, halo 4, and a program to open a worm hole in the fabric of time to open the door*

[Superkoop]

*stands up*

*rips wand away from everyone else*

*shakes the wand, and girlfriend shows up in front of*

:shock: :shock: :shock:

"Holy crap! It worked!"
*smiles at girlfriend, girlfriend smiles back*
*picks up girlfriend and runs off to a corner of the elevator*

[tom66]

There are no corners. :o It's infinite.

[jimi_hendrix]

wait a second...

if we can bend physics....

*whales with wings fly by*

[tom66]

Stop bending physics! It's bad for you!

[Yannick Le Saint kyncani]

Stop bending physics! It's bad for you!

A pub magically appears in the elevator.
Decides to go inside and order a beer.

You see, bending physics is good for you :)

[Superkoop]

There are no corners. :o It's infinite.

:|

*shakes wand and a corner appears, along with a full bed*
"Honey, go lay down, I'll be over in a minute"

*girlfriend runs over to the bed and lays down*

*I shake the wand again, and duct tape appears over tom66's mouth*
\\:D/

*runs over to bed next to girlfriend, lays down and gets a back rub*
8-)

[jimi_hendrix]

why do we want to leave if we can bend physics and do what ever we want...

[Superkoop]

why do we want to leave if we can bend physics and do what ever we want...

"Because there is no freakin privacy! And, we can't get to the outside world!" :(

*girlfriend grabs wand, shakes it*

*walls materialize around the bed, and Existentialism on Prom Night (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8E0Afc7Heg) starts playing*

*a door appears in the wall*
*I look out of the door* "But I think I can live with it for a while longer." :biggrin:

[tom66]

Undoes duct tape.

Decides to start a religion worshipping the flickering light in the elevator.

[PCessna]

*tries to unmount the elevator door*

sudo: requires permissions greater than root; crazy!

sudo apt-get remove kde
sudo apt-get remove xfce
sudo make gnome primary 'forever' +no_exceptions
Password for Root?: GNOME
remove kde [DONE]
remove xfce [DONE]
Make 'GNOME' primary forever with no expections [DONE]!
Complete OK.

calls a genie
YOU GET 1 WISH BECAUSE YOUR NAME STARTS WITH A P
<.<, gksudo -mount elevator_door
You'll need greater permissions then root to do so.
GAH!

[PCessna]

sudo apt-get remove kde
sudo apt-get remove xfce
sudo make gnome primary 'forever' +no_exceptions
Password for Root?: GNOME
remove kde [DONE]
remove xfce [DONE]
Make 'GNOME' primary forever with no expections [DONE]!
Complete OK.

calls a genie
YOU GET 1 WISH BECAUSE YOUR NAME STARTS WITH A P
<.<, gksudo -mount elevator_door
You'll need greater permissions then root to do so.
GAH!
gksudo pcessna_donut
Password for Root?: GNOME
Getting you a donut, PCessna. <33

Yummy :D

gksudo pcessna_vanilla-tea +creamer +2sugar_sweetandlow
Getting you some yummy vanilla tea with two sweet and low tea bags, and your favorite vanilla creamer as a treat ;D

Yay, Now I can think normally :D

Hmm.. I'll have to think of something in the morning.
G'nite

gksudo pcessna_sleep 7hours
Sleep? [Y/n] y
Sleeping..

[tom66]

Oh flickering light, how we prey to you. Please, flicker some more...

*Light fails*

Well that's just boring.

[PCessna]

Oh flickering light, how we prey to you. Please, flicker some more...

*Light fails*

Well that's just boring.
Wakes up.. GAH KDE NIGHTMARES!

gksudo pcessna_vanilla-tea
Password for root?: GNOME

Try again
Password for root?: I NEED MY VANILLA TEA
o.o Password accepted.....

*makes PCessna's a vanilla tea with sugar and cream and gives it to him asap*
ty :D

Now, How do I get out of here?..eh.. I'm bored..
gksudo personal_computer +memory4GB +processor5GHZ +keyboard_usa-standard +mouse_standard +monitor_19" +os_Ubuntu-8.04linux +intell_motherboard +all_other_standard_parts +1TB_harddisk
Getting you a computer :D

^^

*computer appears*
awesome

*goes back to root computer*
gksudo get_me_a_inernet_connection_<.<
Getting you an internet connection.

Found wifi-ubuntu, 49%.

Connecting.

Password for wifi-ubuntu?: Ubuntu
Password Accepted.
*posts on Ubuntu forums* \\:D/

[jimi_hendrix]

Wakes up.. GAH KDE NIGHTMARES!

gksudo pcessna_vanilla-tea
Password for root?: GNOME

Try again
Password for root?: I NEED MY VANILLA TEA
o.o Password accepted.....

*makes PCessna's a vanilla tea with sugar and cream and gives it to him asap*
ty :D

Now, How do I get out of here?..eh.. I'm bored..
gksudo personal_computer +memory4GB +processor5GHZ +keyboard_usa-standard +mouse_standard +monitor_19" +os_Ubuntu-8.04linux +intell_motherboard +all_other_standard_parts +1TB_harddisk
Getting you a computer :D

^^

*computer appears*
awesome

*goes back to root computer*
gksudo get_me_a_inernet_connection_<.<
Getting you an internet connection.

Found wifi-ubuntu, 49%.

Connecting.

Password for wifi-ubuntu?: Ubuntu
Password Accepted.
*posts on Ubuntu forums* \\:D/

hmmmmm

gksudo laptop_that_will_acually_run_crysis_on_max_graphic s_and_will_run_vista_games_without_wine_or_vista

*laptop appears with crysis*

awesome


*girlfriend grabs wand, shakes it*

*walls materialize around the bed, and Existentialism on Prom Night (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E8E0Afc7Heg) starts playing*

*a door appears in the wall*
*I look out of the door* "But I think I can live with it for a while longer." :biggrin:

*plays love in an elevator by aerosmith*

[PCessna]

hmmmmm

gksudo laptop_that_will_acually_run_crysis_on_max_graphic s_and_will_run_vista_games_without_wine_or_vista

*laptop appears with crysis*

awesome



*plays love in an elevator by aerosmith*
*plays aint nothing wrong with that by robert randoplh and dances to scare all KDE and Xcfe users* HAHA!!

It don't matter......*shakes butt* aaaaaaaaaaain't nothing wrong with that! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain't nothing wrong with that.

[Superkoop]

*runs out the door towards the elevator console*

sudo apt-get install air-conditioner-3.0.5.2

air-conditioner --on --high --supercool

*gives everyone an odd look*

"It's getting warm..."

*runs back to room*

[jimi_hendrix]

*plays aint nothing wrong with that by robert randoplh and dances to scare all KDE and Xcfe users* HAHA!!

It don't matter......*shakes butt* aaaaaaaaaaain't nothing wrong with that! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain't nothing wrong with that.


ur scaring us gnome users too

[rolnics]

Thinks, then gets up, walking towards the once flickering light and trips

*a replacement light*

He replaces the old flickering light with a new flickering light . . . he turns, smiles at tom66 and walks to the air con controls . . . .

[rolnics]

is thinking that everyone's escaped and he's the only one left . . . . . . . . .

[Superkoop]

[...]and walks to the air con controls . . . .

*runs out of the room again towards the elevator console*


superkoop@elevator-desktop:~$air-conditioner --lock-controls
PASSWORD:
Locking Controls...
Controls locked
superkoop@elevator-desktop:~$

*gives rolnics a dirty look, and then runs back to the room and closes the door*

[Martje_001]

Martje_001 enters the elevator.

[rolnics]

*phew*

"there is someone about then . . ."

[PCessna]

*farts* oh lord, now im gonna get it D: *runs*

[tom66]

*Tries to disintegrate PCnessna with my WinGun*
*WinGun: Fatal Exception (0x00000000, 0xFA17FA17, 0xE417E417, 0xFFFFFFFF)*

[jimi_hendrix]

*GASP* a gun that shoots windows

[PCessna]

*GASP* a gun that shoots windows

I'm not Windows, I'm Ubuntu D:

[tom66]

*Remembers he has a USB stick and that he added a convenient USB input*
*Loads USB linux*

Ah, where was I...

*Oh yeah, shooting...*
*Starts counting...*

5...

[Superkoop]

*steps out door breathing hard, and sweating*

*sits next to elevator door*

"Holy. shizniz... She is awesome!" :shock:




"She just pwned my butt 5times in Crysis!!"
*sighs*

"Maybe I should have just told her to keep rubbing my back" :(

[PCessna]

Hmm, I should do a curtsy GNOME reboot since it's been a few days.

*reboots*
*farts*

Oh, Lord, I have to stop with the baked beans D:

*screen starts flashing during GUI bootup*

*Note appears while booting*

PCessna, Please stop farting, It makes it hard for me to boot up D:

[tom66]

*gets bored with gun*
*magics a private room*
*gets laptop - coding, coding, coding...*

[Superkoop]

"Alright, this is it..."
*stands up*

"I am going to put my foot down, I am going to tell her we need to play a different game, because I suck at Crysis."

*walks back into his room, with chest inflated pretty far*

[smartboyathome]

*uninstalls all the desktop environments and window managers, and then installs Enlightenment Developer Release 17*
*elevator all of a sudden starts spinning due to it being lighter, and people are able to float*

(and notice i didn't change the laws of physics :p)

[Superkoop]

*the door to room opens, and me and my gf come flying out*

"This so owns playing any video game!!!!!"
:D:guitar::D

[PCessna]

*inserts Ubuntu 64-bit CD Rom drive, and choses to use ENTIRE drive*

*35 min later, logins in*

:D

[kpatz]

Goes to the console, and types "sudo eject /dev/elevator", and braces for what happens next...

... and a CD-sized drawer opens up in the wall...

Oh, what a cool cup holder! And it even has a promotional 64-bit Ubuntu drink coaster in it! Sets my can of Coke in it...

[tom66]

Jumps up and down for no reason.

[Superkoop]

*lays down on bed*

"OOOoooOOOahgh"

"Me thinks I ate too much"

[FuturePilot]

*Whispers to doors*
sudo /etc/init.d/elevator restart

[smartboyathome]

*elevator restarts, we now have to go to 1111 posts before elevator opens up*

*looks at elevator source code and starts messing with it to see if he can get the number of posts which FuturePilot just increased (lol :p) down*

[PCessna]

*farts again* *stinks really bad*

*blushes* Sorry, I shouldn't of had that double stacker and chilli at Wendays today, topped off with A couple pancakes for breakfast and my vanilla tea, and *laughs*

sudo apt-get install supertuxcart

:D

[Superkoop]

*farts again* *stinks really bad*

*blushes* Sorry, I shouldn't of had that double stacker and chilli at Wendays today, topped off with A couple pancakes for breakfast and my vanilla tea, and *laughs*

sudo apt-get install supertuxcart

:D

:|

*Types into console he installed next to bed so I don't have to ever get up*

Sudo kill PCessna

[PCessna]

:|

*Types into console he installed next to bed so I don't have to ever get up*

Sudo kill PCessna

gksudo shield-for-death
Password for PCessna:
You're now fully shielded against all users from killing you.

(You failed at killing me because you should've typed gksudo kill PCessna, but since you failed, now I'll fully death-proof)

*goes over to Superkoop* *farts in face* hehehehehehehe

[kpatz]

Fully kill-proof? We'll see...

(Goes to console, types gksudo killall -KILL PCessna)

Let's see if you're immune to SIGKILL! Bwhahahaha... ;)

[rolnics]

*farts again*

*thinks of a way to harness the power . . . *


double stacker and chilli at Wendays today, topped off with A couple pancakes for breakfast and my vanilla tea


*the the source*

*then thinks some more, while reading a HOWTO on taking over the world while stuck in a lift or elevator*

[PCessna]

Chuckles

[starcannon]

Were going to be here awhile it seems; *opens a bottle of The Glenlivet and passes it around*, don't be shy, its a bottomless bottle.

[PCessna]

I bet GNOME can convert a computerized Pizza to a real one :D

gksudo yummy_cheese_pizza | convert:.gnomepizza--.humanfood+number=5
Password for Paul:
*computer jumps around and spits out 5 delicious sanitary wholesome yummy perfectly food pizzas without any computer parts or anything, just like a normal pizza*

Yummy :D

gksudo plates +quantity=100 | convert:.gnomeplates--.item+number=defined(+quantity)
Password for Paul:
*computers spits out plates*

:D *grabs to slices of Pizza and eats*

Yes, the power of liunx can convert computerized text into real objects :D
gksudo macintosh_macbook +topspecs +color=black
:D?
Password for Paul:
Haha You wish :)

-.-

[starcannon]

*Wonders if a stuck elevator is supposed to move this fast?*
*kicks on anti gravity device conveniently located in his pocket*
*Floats into a pile of pizza sauce and toppings*
*Scowls at PCessna wondering why he didn't clean up after his pizza party*

[rolnics]

*Wonders if a stuck elevator is supposed to move this fast?*
*kicks on anti gravity device conveniently located in his pocket*
*Floats into a pile of pizza sauce and toppings*
*Scowls at PCessna wondering why he didn't clean up after his pizza party*

*Glares at starcannon*

"We really are stuck now starcannon, switch the gravity back on!"

*prepares himself for the heavy landing*

[starcannon]

I would, but when I put the device back in my pocket, I put it in the wrong pocket... someones gotta go in after it, I think it fell through that black hole I keep meaning to mend...

p.s. currently most of my pocket is well outside the blackhole's event horizon, unfortunately as murphy would dictate, the anti-gravity device was not stronger than the gravity of the black hole. I'm no physicist but for some reason my pants don't seem to get ripped off my body (and everyone in this elevator should thank the deity of their choice for that) but I'd be open to explanations as to why not.

[rolnics]

*starts to casually move away from starcannon with a slight bemused expression*

"I'm no physicist either . . . ."

*thinks he might need a propulsion system to move more quickly away!*

[jimi_hendrix]

sudo gravity

*everyone lands*

sudo > physics

*wonders if God has to use sudo commands*

[rolnics]

*wishes he had thought of something to cushion the landing in his last post, after falling from a responsible height*

"Ouch!"

*doesn't know whether to thank jimi_hendrix or not?*

:frown:

[eragon100]

Is transported back into the elevator from holiday, and immediately smacks on the ground because the gravity is on :(

[starcannon]

snickers at eragon, lol WELCOME BACK

[Superkoop]

"Awwww, why did you guys have to turn the stupid gravity back on!?!"

*looks around, shakes hair to put it back in place; helps girlfriend back up*

*walks girlfriend back to the room, closes and locks door*

[PCessna]

*wags tail* Mmmm, That pizza was so yummy :D

sudo clean_mess
Password for Paul:
Nah, I'm too damn lazy ;)

Grr.. GNOME <.<

Oh, fine >.>

[Tux.Ice]

**Decides to stop the madness**

adam@elevator:~$ sudo -i
[sudo] password for adam:
root@elevator:~# gravity -off
The command completed succesfully.
root@elevator:~# apt-get purge * -exception(ubuntu,gravity,physics,req*)
OH MY GOD! Oh Well,
The command completed succesfully.
root@elevator:~# postcount -relative (this_post)
Postcount set.
root@elevator:~# elevator -allow_reset=0
Deleting init.d entry file.....
Done.
root@elevator:~# elevator -wall_transparency=0
Compiz must be enabled!
root@elevator:~# compiz-fusion
Started.
root@elevator:~# elevator -wall_transparency=0
Walls are now transparent.
root@elevator:~# elevator -lock -password=1
[sudo] password for root:
[sudo] password for elevator controls:
Password Set! Controls cannot be operated without password!
root@elevator:~# compiz-fusion -lock -password=1 -password_fromfile=(usel)
Password Set! Controls cannot be operated without password!
root@elevator:~#gravity -allow_on=0 -lock -password_fromfile=(usel)
Password Set! Controls cannot be operated without password!
root@elevator:~# diselevate
adam@elevator:~#

"And that is how it is done!"

[eragon100]

*Accidently bashes head against the now transparent wall and shouts*, "Thanx man!"

[rolnics]

*thinks that this lift is no longer stuck, but is acting like a sinking ship!*

[use a name]

* Shaves *

[Nano Geek]

*Wakes up and asks, "Are we still here?"*
*Goes back to sleep*

[jimi_hendrix]

*is soooo bored that he bans use a name in the baning game thread for shaving*

[jose158]

*loses his sanity and starts punching people in the face*

[eragon100]

*loses his sanity and starts punching people in the face*

*Decides to have some fun and hits jose158 in the face as hard as he can, then makes two cool duelling swords appear in the physics-free elevator and challenges jose158 to a duel*

[jose158]

*Decides to have some fun and hits jose158 in the face as hard as he can, then makes two cool duelling swords appear in the physics-free elevator and challenges jose158 to a duel*
*pulls out a mini atom bomb and shields everybody from the blast except eragon100*

[Nano Geek]

*Saves eragon with my shield in the nick of time.*
*Sees cool swords*
*Chalanges eragon to a duel*

[eragon100]

*quickly cast a spell that causes a flood wave, that kills the fire and drowns jose158*

Accepts asjdfwejqrfjcvm msz34rq33's challenge, "let's play!"

*Swings blade towards asjdfwejqrfjcvm msz34rq33's head* :twisted:

[jose158]

*grows gills to breath underwater*

[use a name]

*takes jimi_hendrix' guitar*
*plays tune*
*brakes string*
*returns guitar*

[jose158]

*sneaks up on Use A Name and submerges him underwater*

[use a name]

Blupblupblup!

*produces harpoonrifle*

POW!

*roasts jose158 on a slow fire*

[jose158]

*dies and never comes back*

[jimi_hendrix]

*takes jimi_hendrix' guitar*
*plays tune*
*brakes string*
*returns guitar*

uses the powers of rock to repair sting (with cool 60's special effects)

*dies and never comes back*

uses the powers of rock to resurrect jose because i need a drummer

[use a name]

Thanks jimi, for cleaning up the mess I made... :oops:

[jimi_hendrix]

no problem...its what rock is about

[Nano Geek]

*quickly cast a spell that causes a flood wave, that kills the fire and drowns jose158*

Accepts asjdfwejqrfjcvm msz34rq33's challenge, "let's play!"

*Swings blade towards asjdfwejqrfjcvm msz34rq33's head* :twisted:*Makes your blade disappear*
*Prepares to make the final blow* :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

[eragon100]

*Makes a new blade apear, and parry your attack*

*Shouts, "Heh, play fair, otherwise it's no fun!"*

[jimi_hendrix]

*reminds eragon about how he can bend physics offensivly too*

[eragon100]

"I want to play fair, just fight with the swords, otherwise it isn't any fun!"

*Makes another attack and lands a savage blow on asjdfwejqrfjcvm msz34rq33's belly*. "hey, that feels good!" :twisted:

[Nano Geek]

*Travels back in time a few seconds so that I can block your slash.*
*Intense duel follows*

[use a name]

*ducks*
*sneezes on some passing by sword*

[rolnics]

*ducks*

*then produces a bell*

"DING! DING!"

*then very hard wishes*

*a scantily clad women appears holding a board aloft with the words END OF ROUND 1 printed on it*

*then a bar appears with everyone's favourite alcoholic poison!*

"Cheers everyone!"

*smiling*

[eragon100]

*Takes a few drinks, then eagerly returns to the fight, refreshed*

[rolnics]

*is still sitting at the bar and is joined by that scantily clad women from earlier!*

*is thinking . . . .*

"This must be a dream!"

*looks around*

*Opps! did I say that out aloud?!*

[jimi_hendrix]

*decides to capatailize on the fight*

Place your bets hear place your bets

[jose158]

*awakes after a couple of hours to see that we are still in an elevator*:confused:

[SuperSonic4]

*sudo apt-get install exit*

byeeeeeeeeeee :p

[Nano Geek]

*Wins the fight by using an unthinkingly cunning move that I created as we fought.*

*Waits for crowd to give me a thumbs up or thumbs down. :twisted: *

[eragon100]

*resurrects as zombie, and quickly cuts of the head of my opponent :twisted: *

[happysmileman]

*Me walks up to the elevator, opens it, walks inside and wonders what everyone is screaming about as I push the close button. Then quickly realises that they're all shouting "Don't close the door"*

[jose158]

*hits happysmileman in the head and says "you could have had a V8!"*:lolflag:

[jose158]

*sits down to think about what will be the first thing he will do when he gets out*

[rolnics]

*sits down to think about what will be the first thing he will do when he gets out*

*Thinks why???*

*You can bend the laws of physic in here!*

*While still sitting at the bar with that scantily clad women smiling!*

[jimi_hendrix]

*wakes up*

hey guys i had this awsome dream where we were all trapped in this elevator and we could bend physics but couldnt leave...and eragon was a zombie and choped someones head off and rolnics was at a bar with the woman....wait a second...

[DrMelon]

*walks over to the elephant dispensing machine*

"Anybody got a quarter?"

[jose158]

*stops pondering*
*realizes were still in an elevator*
*passes out from shock*
*wakes up to see people chewing off his arm*
"what the heck?!"
*punches people in the mouth*

[Drezard]

*was quiet until now*

"Hey guys, I think we wont be getting out till 2000 posts :P"

*laughs quietly to self*

[happysmileman]

*was quiet until now*

"Hey guys, I think we wont be getting out till 2000 posts :P"

*laughs quietly to self*

You're not supposed to say that until there's at least 990 posts :P

[SunnyRabbiera]

Pulls out sonic screwdriver...
So long suckers :D

[fahadsadah]

Writes python script to do the remaining 827 posts =]

[Nano Geek]

*Tries to kill self by running into the wall, but since this is an infinite elevator, it can't be done.*

*Goes and sits down depressed. :( *

[Tux.Ice]

correction. you cannot see any walls from the script on page 15.

[starcannon]

Pulls a 55 gallon drum of Icecream out of his pocket and looks around for spoons and bowls.

[Nano Geek]

*Produces spoons and bowls.*
*Shares with starcannon.*

[DrMelon]

*Opens a terminal*

sudo apt-get a-quarter-please

*waits for quarter to be downloaded*

[jose158]

* Steals DrMelon's quarter and summons a vending machine*
* Eats snickers happily*

[jose158]

*finishes snickers*
83199

[tom66]

*whistles innocently...*

"I didn't get us stuck in here... I think..."

[Flying caveman]

Stop imagining the elevator is stuck.

[use a name]

Indeed, it isn't. The rest of the universe just moves along with it.

[DrMelon]

sudo apt-get install exit
'exit' not found in any repositories

:confused:

[hyperhopper]

Here comes the dynamite!!!!!

[jimi_hendrix]

i know how to get us out

*divides by zero*

[eragon100]

*ERROR*

*lifts starts falling, everyone screams*

"Dividing by 0 is not possible! :("

[jimi_hendrix]

yes it is...we can bend physics in here

[smartboyathome]

*lift crashes, all die*

[snova]

Time flux! Back up one post.

"Quick! Everybody hold up the ceiling!"

[DrMelon]

sudo apt-get timemachine
downloading 1 of 1 packages....

[emshains]

*Takes his iPhone and turns the volume to the max and watches movies while floating in the liquid*

[rolnics]

*looks @ emshains, floating in his liquid*

*wonders*

*looks at his glass.*

*hmm, still contains liquid*

*looks at that scantily clad women and smiles*

*then looks @ emshains puzzled*

"Is he having a matrix moment? The only liquid I see is at the bar?!"

[DrMelon]

sudo apt-get ATANKLOLOLOL111ONEELEVEN
Downloading packages 1 of 2....
:popcorn:

[Swenghk]

Opens a quantum loops using Kevin Mitnicks Quantum Hack in a Bottle and escapes to Azeroth.

[jimi_hendrix]

Opens a quantum loops using Kevin Mitnicks Quantum Hack in a Bottle and escapes to Azeroth.

*server crashes*

[rolnics]

*thinks there's more than time flux outside this lift!*

*he thought he'd replied, thinking along the lines of needing a shelter of some kind*

*thinks*

*trips*

*then picks up an object about the size of a large calculator, written on the underside is the words TIME FLUX DETECTOR*

*then walks back to the bar, where that scantily clad women is still standing*

[jimi_hendrix]

this post is sounding more and more like something out of star trek

*then walks back to the bar, where that scantily clad women is still standing*

must be a really bored woman

[rolnics]

*thinks there's more than time flux outside this lift!*

*he thought he'd replied, thinking along the lines of needing a shelter of some kind*

*thinks*

*trips*

*then picks up an object about the size of a large calculator, written on the underside is the words TIME FLUX DETECTOR*

*Thinks he said this already!*

[jimi_hendrix]

this post is sounding more and more like something out of star trek

*then walks back to the bar, where that scantily clad women is still standing*

must be a really bored woman

[Nano Geek]

Time flux! Back up one post.

"Quick! Everybody hold up the ceiling!"*Arms fall out of sockets. :( *

*Grows new arms> :) *

[jimi_hendrix]

*Arms fall out of sockets. :( *

*Grows new arms> :) *

*decides to evolve into a super-human race*

[DrMelon]

*Arms fall out of sockets*

STOP TIME FLUXING!

*Arms fall out of sockets*

STOP TIME FLUXING!

*Arms fall out of ears*

Uuhh...

[jimi_hendrix]

ill stop the time flux

*devides by zero again*

[rolnics]

*looks at jimi_hendrix and gets a sense of impending doom!*

*thinks there's more than time flux in and outside this lift!*

*he thought he'd replied, thinking along the lines of needing a shelter of some kind*

*pauses*

*Is sure he said this twice already and wonders if there's some kind of temporal time distortion going on!*

*then remembers someone having a black hole in their pocket*

*looks at jimi_hendrix and gets a sense of impending doom!*

[rolnics]

*is thinking about writing a book . . . *

*is also thinking perhaps he should put his boss in here, at least then he won't have the excuse of my car won't start, because it lost its memory!*

*at least that time flux has stopped . . . . . . for now!*

[maybeway36]

Tries to devide something by zero, but ends up dividing zero by zero and getting indeterminate for an answer. For a few seconds, everything that could possibly happen does, then time returns to normal again.

[Tux.Ice]

sudo apt-stop all
Everything stopped.
sudo apt-get start Time Gravity PREV_VAR(0)
Started.
sudo apt-get purge Time_Flux_Machine

[snova]

One fifth of the way there!

Speaking of which, where exactly is "there"? The top? I hope not, because then it'd take another thousand posts to get down again! (Unless you want to take the stairs.)

Hasn't anybody considered how strange it is to be using administrative utilities to control physics? You'd think the Elevator man page is in section 1 (Programs).

You may as well run

sudo world --end[Enter] Oops.

[niccholaspage]

sudo world --end Is wrong.
The right format is sudo apt-get install world-commands
sudo world --endThe world-commands package is not installed by default due to stupid people abusing the command.

[starcannon]

*Wakes up to command errors joins his kernel in a panic and runs to a busy box for a little peace and quite.

[jimi_hendrix]

*continues evolving until i become root*

*blasts gaps in time space continuum with thoughts*

cool

*blasts elevator door...*

[FuturePilot]

*Wakes up to command errors joins his kernel in a panic and runs to a busy box for a little peace and quite.

*wonders how busybox can be a place of peace and quite with such a name :p*

[eragon100]

*wonders how busybox can be a place of peace and quite with such a name :p*

Well, the windows manager is pretty nice and quit... It has to be the most boring program I have ever seen! :lolflag:

[rolnics]

*is suffering from that time flux again!*

*he's 100% he replied earlier?!*

*or is he going mental from being stuck in here?!*

*or is it that time flux again?*

"crackle hisssss crackle"

(in an announcers voice)
"And the story continues. . . ."

[jimi_hendrix]

*in a deep voice*

space the final frontier...these are the voyages of...

[niccholaspage]

sudo rm -rf /elevatorPermission denied.

It is impossible! I used Sudo!

[jimi_hendrix]

*reminds nic that i am now a higher life form*

sudo rm -rf /elevator

[snova]

*reminds nic that i am now a higher life form*

sudo rm -rf /elevator

You killed everybody!

$ sudo cp /mnt/backup/elevator /
$ file /elevator/snova
/elevator/snova: User (Operational)

[jimi_hendrix]

if i killed them then why are you hear...

*screams*
PARADOX WHO DEVIDED BY ZERO ONLY I CAN DO THAT

[niccholaspage]

YAY! Where back! Thank god there was a backup in are elevator's computer.

I wonder what happens of I type...
sudo apt-get install nga
This is Nicholaspage Genuine Advantage
Your copy of Ubuntu did not pass Nicholaspage Genuine Advantage
Please scream and run around in circles while we brake your computer.

Um....Does anyone got another backup?

[eragon100]

Yes, I do! I used my warp drive to travel to a moment in time before the flux began and put the data on my usb stick!

eragon@Asgard:~$ sudo restore-elevator --backup="/media/2 GB stick/elevator
_backup.bcp"

backing up...

elevator state succesfully restored.

Jay! :KS

[niccholaspage]

Ok.I will pay the fee and apply a NGA License so it will be validated without that error.

[niccholaspage]

I payed the fee.Time to install it again.
sudo apt-get install nga
Validating....
Taking a while to validate...
STILL taking a while to validate....
Please finish validating....
Done.
Your copy of Ubuntu is pirated.The key bought was not in the NGA database.Please scream and run arround in circles while we brake your computer again.

Plug in your backup drive PLEASE eragon100!

[snova]

Of course NGA won't validate! This is an elevator and we need EGA- Elevator Genuine Advantage. Its key has as many digits as there are floors in this building, so start typing!

And since when does an elevator run Ubuntu? We haven't taken over the world just yet, you know.

And that's enough of the backups. Besides, if NGA breaks the computer, how are we going to apply it if it won't even start? Let's just use rsync and copy everything over to the second elevator.

[niccholaspage]

I booted into a Live CD and recovered a backup.And now that you remind me...NGA needs EGA to validate successfully.Let me install ega THAN try nga.
sudo apt-get install ega
EGA Successfully installed.This computer is genuine.
Ok.Now I will install NGA.
sudo apt-get install nga
Please enter your license key
License Key:409384-38945-34932-38945
Validating......
Done.
Your computer has finally been validated with NGA!
Finally.Now we can live in peace with the benefits NGA gives us.Like..Uh...Uh....Um....Now everybody in the elevator will worship Niccholaspage(ME).It's NGA after all.

[jimi_hendrix]

Yes, I do! I used my warp drive to travel to a moment in time before the flux began and put the data on my usb stick!


*gets idea* pulls every trekie's dream out of his pocket...the communicator thingie that looks remarkably like a modern day cell phone

*talks into communicator*

*begins flashing and is gone*

Finally.Now we can live in peace with the benefits NGA gives us.Like..Uh...Uh....Um....Now everybody in the elevator will worship Niccholaspage(ME).It's NGA after all.

i am the supreme being here remember...

[niccholaspage]

WE ARE THE SUPREME MASTERS!!! MUAHAHHAHAH.Let me be the supreme master or I will do a sudo rm -rf /home/jimi_hendrix. You don't want your folder deleted oh do you?You will now get deleted!
sudo rm -rf /home/jimi_hendrix
sudo rm -rf /usr/share/jimi_hendrixMUAHAHAHAHA!

[jimi_hendrix]

*flash's back and this time has a blue jumpsuit on that is also every trekkie's dream*

you forgot sudo rm-rf /starship/jimi_hendrix... so now i deny you root privliges

[niccholaspage]

Well you ran that.BUT wait.Lets see what happened when you did this.
You cannot deny niccholaspage's root privilegesMUHAHHAHHA! Oh and before you think you can remove NGA,This will NOT work.And it will NEVER Work.And the backups will still have NGA installed.

[jimi_hendrix]

MUHAHHAHHA! Oh and before you think you can remove NGA,This will NOT work.And it will NEVER Work.And the backups will still have NGA installed.

uhhh


sudo apt-get remove NGA
and to double check rm-rf /.nga

[niccholaspage]

You do know that NGA just executes sudo apt-get install nga after you remove it....and the rm didn't really work.

[rolnics]

*this lift has suddenly got more interesting!*

*but still needs something*

[rolnics]

*thinks perhaps he spoke too soon!*

*perhaps we should start building a bigger and better particle accelerator then the one in Geneva, then things might get interesting?*

[jimi_hendrix]

*decides to bend physics and shrinks everyone to the size of 1/5 a hydrogen atom*

interesting enough?

[snova]

*perhaps we should start building a bigger and better particle accelerator then the one in Geneva, then things might get interesting?*

That's it. Lets put the elevator into a proton accelerator, that'll punch a door out real fast...

[rolnics]

*decides to bend physics and shrinks everyone to the size of 1/5 a hydrogen atom*

interesting enough?

"No! Quite the opposite!*

*is wishing he had god like powers or a chain gun :twisted: *

[stinger30au]

*gets bored and turns on the flux capacitor he has in his back pocket and travels back in time to the start of the thread*

[niccholaspage]

*gets bored and starts running boring codes*

[jimi_hendrix]

*splits an atom*

[niccholaspage]

*Gets bored and starts speaking in such bad grammar*
*j00 want you cakez?

[jose158]

*comes back after x posts*

[jimi_hendrix]

*Gets bored and starts speaking in such bad grammar*
*j00 want you cakez?

yezz plz

[eragon100]

yezz plz

Yummmiie, me wantz cakezz :)

Plays with the just-finished particle accelerator, and makes a Black hole, then screams:

"It´s alive! it´s ali... AHHHHH" *Loud GULPCH*

Oops! Black hole was hungry and ate me for dinner!

[maybeway36]

Eats the black hole.

[jimi_hendrix]

Eats the black hole.

*eats maybeway*

[panhandle]

...emerges from bathroom...

[rolnics]

*just can't be bothered, but still watched anyway!*

[use a name]

*Pushes a few buttons*

*Notes that the elevator starts moving*

*Looks at display*

Uhoh... It says it's moving to floor A(4,4), with the note that A is the Ackermann function...

[jimi_hendrix]

wassa Ackermann?