Post your fortune!

[FuturePilot]

:~$ fortune
panic: kernel trap (ignored)

:shock:

[dgray_from_dc]

dontrel@Sulaco:~$ fortune
Time to be aggressive. Go after a tattooed Virgo.


WTF?!?! I'm a married man!!!!

[obscur156]

obscur@liberty:~$ fortune
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
obscur@liberty:~$

Looks like something related to "THE SECRET"

[FuturePilot]

:~$ fortune
RAM wasn't built in a day.
:lolflag:

[p_quarles]

lee@Rimbaud:~$ fortune -s
Nowlan's Theory:
He who hesitates is not only lost, but several miles from
the next freeway exit.

[dgray_from_dc]

dontrel@Fury161:~$ fortune
Q: How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a
light bulb?
A: Seven. Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in
the Engineering Section is getting dim, at which point Kirk will send
Bones to pronounce the bulb dead (although he'll immediately claim
that he's a doctor, not an electrician). Scotty, after checking
around, realizes that they have no more new light bulbs, and complains
that he "canna" see in the dark. Kirk will make an emergency stop at
the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb
from the natives, who, are friendly, but seem to be hiding something.
Kirk, Spock, Bones, Yeoman Rand and two red shirt security officers
beam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promply
killed by the natives, and the rest of the landing party is captured.
As something begins to develop between the Captain and Yeoman Rand,
Scotty, back in orbit, is attacked by a Klingon destroyer and must
warp out of orbit. Although badly outgunned, he cripples the Klingon
and races back to the planet in order to rescue Kirk et. al. who have
just saved the natives' from an awful fate and, as a reward, been
given all light bulbs they can carry. The new bulb is then inserted
and the Enterprise continues on its five year mission.

[FuturePilot]

:~$ fortune
I'm into SOFTWARE!

[xyz]

Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.
-- Shakespeare, "Coriolanus"


...didn't know they used Windows back then.......

[p_quarles]

...didn't know they used Windows back then.......
It was DOS 3.0, actually. "Projects" in the plural is subtly ironic, as everyone knew that such multitasking was impossible.

lee@Rimbaud:~$ fortune -s
Sorry. I just realized this sentance makes no sense :)
-- Ian Main

[dgray_from_dc]

dontrel@Fury161:~$ fortune
In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and
struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny
and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the
crunch he was all courage. Those novels would make you retch.
-- Canadian novelist Robertson Davies, on the generic Canadian
novel.

[overdrank]

mine@ubuntu:~$ fortune
The camel died quite suddenly on the second day, and Selena fretted
sullenly and, buffing her already impeccable nails -- not for the first
time since the journey begain -- pondered snidely if this would dissolve
into a vignette of minor inconveniences like all the other holidays spent
with Basil.

[xyz]

You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.
...

[overdrank]

mine@ubuntu:~$ fortune
Q: What do they call the alphabet in Arkansas?
A: The impossible dream.


:rolleyes:

[hhhhhx]

xhhux@lucy:~$ fortune
You will be the victim of a bizarre joke.
.

[spupy]

bash: fortune: command not found


:-k Hm, that's a weird fortune! ;)

[Xavieran]

bash: fortune: command not found


:-k Hm, that's a weird fortune!

sudo apt-get install fortune


xavieran@LeChateau: ~$fortune
Get a life

[dgray_from_dc]

dontrel@Sulaco:~$ fortune
You have the body of a 19 year old. Please return it before it gets wrinkled.

[xyz]

...Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.

[angry_johnnie]

You will be surprised by a loud noise.

well... that does happen rather often...

[FuturePilot]

:~$ fortune
How come everyone's going so slow if it's called rush hour?

:lolflag:

[dgray_from_dc]

dontrel@Sulaco:~$ fortune
You are number 6! Who is number one?

[Dr Small]

Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.

:)

[dgray_from_dc]

dontrel@Sulaco:~$ fortune
A tall, dark stranger will have more fun than you.

[overdrank]

mine@ubuntu:~$ fortune
You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own.

:shock: :oops:

[hhhhhx]

xhhux@lucy:~$ fortune
Q: What's hard going in and soft and sticky coming out?
A: Chewing gum.


hmmmm......:-k

[Jack78]

jack2@jack-desktop:/home/jack/Desktop$ fortune
Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.

Better be calling my doctor then...

[Chemroydal Tissue]

$ fortune
"You get along very well with everyone except animals and people."

I once got this one in a fortune cookie: "You will soon be $8.95 poorer. $6.95 if you got the special."

[p_quarles]

lee@Rimbaud:~$ fortune -s
"Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong."
-- Blair Houghton

[wesley_of_course]

How true ;


Never laugh at live dragons.
-- Bilbo Baggins [J.R.R. Tolkien, "The Hobbit"]

[overdrank]

mine@ubuntu:~$ fortune
Fine day to work off excess energy. Steal something heavy.
mine@ubuntu:~$

[fissionmailed]

You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.


O_o

[xyz]

...Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.

[dgray_from_dc]

dontrel@Sulaco:~$ fortune
Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.
-- Mark Twain

[wesley_of_course]

wesley@Ratdog:~$ fortune
Cheer Up! Things are getting worse at a slower rate.


thrilled

[jose158]

Have you guys ever done this?:aptitude moo then aptitude -v moo then aptitude -vv moo then aptitude -vvv moo and so on?

BTW $ fortune
There will be big changes for you but you will be happy.

[Superkoop]

john@john-desktop:~$ fortune
You'll never be the man your mother was!

:( darn it!

(I love the terminal, I'm watching star wars in it right now...)

[00arthuryu]

Q: What's tiny and yellow and very, very, dangerous?
A: A canary with the super-user password.
lol!

[FuturePilot]

:~$ fortune
AMAZING BUT TRUE ...
If all the salmon caught in Canada in one year were laid end to end
across the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.


I thought that fact was going in a different direction :lolflag:

[hhhhhx]

┌─(xhhux@lucy, 17 Mar)────────────────────────────────────────────── ─(~)────┐
└─(08:16)$ fortune
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.

[go_beep_yourself]

Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill?
A: "The elephants are coming over the hill."

Q: What did he say when saw them coming over the hill wearing
sunglasses?
A: Nothing, for he didn't recognize them.

[rolnics]

~$ fortune
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.

:lolflag: i'm going to have to remember the first one! :lolflag:

[Glucklich]

You will have a long and boring life.


Isn't this fish something?

[irishhermit]

Outside of dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx

[xyz]

You will remember something that you should not have forgotten.

[rolnics]

:~$ fortune
Time to be aggressive. Go after a tattooed Virgo.

LOL

[xyz]

You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.

[ethoxyethaan]

nick@nick-laptop:~$ fortune
Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things.

[xyz]

You are as I am with You.
...

[jenkinbr]

jenkinbr@jenkinbr:~$ fortune
>From Ric.Hotchkiss@sdrc.com Fri Nov 19 23:38:47 CST 1993
____________________
/ \
| In case of |
| Frustration |
\____________________/
! !
! !
L_ !
/ _)!
/ /__L
_____/ (____)
(____)
_____ (____)
\_(____)
! !
! !
\__/

Yes, this is real - I used synaptic to install additional fortune cookies.

[jenkinbr]

Sad...
jenkinbr@jenkinbr:~$ fortune
Here I sit, broken-hearted,
All logged in, but work unstarted.
First net.this and net.that,
And a hot buttered bun for net.fat.

The boss comes by, and I play the game,
Then I turn back to net.flame.
Is there a cure (I need your views),
For someone trapped in net.news?

I need your help, I say 'tween sobs,
'Cause I'll soon be listed in net.jobs.

[xyz]

April 1

This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three
hundred and sixty-four.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

[jenkinbr]

jenkinbr@jenkinbr:~$ fortune
--==>> THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO COWS <<==--

as you've NEVER seen them before!


(__) (__) (__) (__)
(oo) (oo) (oo) (oo)
/-------\/-* /-------\/ /-------\/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
/ | || \ )*)(\/* / * / | ||
* ||----|| * \ |||/)|/()( ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
\/|(/)(/\/(,,/ \)|(/\/|)(/\
Cow munching Grass munching Cow in water Cow in trouble
on grass on cow

[rolnics]

"You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks."
-- Gary Giddens

[xyz]

A tall, dark stranger will have more fun than you.