You know you are a stupid computer user when...

[MONODA]

you are still looking for the "any-key"
you really think "you have 2 messages awaiting"
you stay away from your computer if it has a virus cuz u dont want to get infected
you complained when u bought windows and all you got was a cd and not a single window

[DUDE_2000]

lol.
you don't understand that a computer can store data, like songs from a cd.

[stevux]

..two windows users post on a linux forum..

:D

[MONODA]

LOL i dual boot windows and ubuntu but i have used windows for a month and never want to again.

you are afraid of moving the slide on a floppy cuz u think it will get infected
you keep ur toasted away from ur computer when it has a virus
you call the monitor "the tv thingy"
you think the monitor is the compuiter

[megamania]

You blame linux when your keyboard stops working. You go crazy with config files and google searches, then you realize you had accidentally unplugged the cable when moving the computer. (that happened to me a couple of years ago)

[Rowdy73]

- When you computer crashes after installing any release of Ubuntu and you can't get ANYTHING related to 3D working... ??

[LaRoza]

When you don't know what processor you have.

[FuturePilot]

You realize the internet isn't working because it's not plugged in:oops:

[-grubby]

you throw a computer out when Windows screws up(I know someone like that)

[LaRoza]

you throw a computer out when Windows screws up(I know someone like that)

I wish I lived near that person...

[LaRoza]

You realize the internet isn't working because it's not plugged in:oops:

I once had a similar problem with my monitor, :oops:

[-grubby]

I wish I lived near that person...

I know. They live about 20 miles away so it would look weird if I came to rifle through their garbage. Of course, I got my current PC from someone who threw it in a junk yard, turns out the hard drive was toast

[LaRoza]

I know. They live about 20 miles away so it would look weird if I came to rifle through their garbage. Of course, I got my current PC from someone who threw it in a junk yard, turns out the hard drive was toast

I should surf the streets more, and the web less.

[erfahren]

you need a tutorial (http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=86816) to move your computer.

[LaRoza]

you need a tutorial (http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=86816) to move your computer.

That has to be the ultimate...

[-grubby]

That has to be the ultimate...

yah

[Phung1s]

you need a tutorial (http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=86816) to move your computer.

HAHAHA priceless

[LinuxGuy1234]

... you have Windows and use it so much. Then you'll be on the Bill Gates team in computer terms.

[GepettoBR]

When Windows 98 says "Keyboard not found, press F1 to continue"... you press F1.

[petersjm]

...When the shop assistant says it's got 250 gigs and you think "Wow, fantastic, I've only ever been to a handful of gigs in my life!"

[-grubby]

when...you buy a new monitor because your computer is "not working" (kind of equivalent to what I said earlier)

[Rowdy73]

You need a program like Photoshop CS (for photography work), but choose to run Ubuntu because you love it so much.

[days_of_ruin]

You need a program like Photoshop CS (for photography work), but choose to run Ubuntu because you love it so much.

Troll

[days_of_ruin]

You think changing a password in ubuntu in recovery mode is "hacking".

[sisco311]

You realize the internet isn't working because it's not plugged in:oops:
+1

[Omnios]

You buy a lap top to install Ubuntu on and realize that the brand you bought voids the hardware warenty if you install Linux on it.

When setting up your wireless network you decide to click on another connection option because it has better signal strength.

You buy SIS components, expecially when you monitor and other hardware specifies that sis comonents can damage your hardware.

Think its ok to leave a wireless network unsecure because its easy to connecy and with default settings and pass info as a setup option.

[Rowdy73]

Troll

You get upset over peoples comments in message forums.

-Hahaha!

[jeffus_il]

You leave your Wireless Access Point open with default values so that your neighbor can surf the internet at your expense.

[liquidfunk]

You think that you can uninstall windows from some hidden command.

Like a friend was trying to prove to me, by going through several system files, trying to find the uninstall option.

Lol.

[days_of_ruin]

You get upset over peoples comments in message forums.

-Hahaha!

Just stating a fact:lolflag::lolflag:

[case-fromCA]

You call tech support because you computers cupholder will not go back in. And yes, I recieved the call...

[whynotchevron]

You call tech support because you computers cupholder will not go back in. And yes, I recieved the call...
ah ! so your the one my neighbor talked to when he asked me for some help and I recommended he call tech support . (i've never laft so hard)

[Lostincyberspace]

You call tech support because you computers cupholder will not go back in. And yes, I recieved the call...
I hate it when that happens!

when you forget to plug your computer on and spend 3 days trying to figure out what is wrong with it.

[AnonCat]

You think the mouse is a foot pedal.

[Dngrsone]

you're this guy (http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html). http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee303/Dngrs_1/rollin.gif

[case-fromCA]

That page is awesome! But one statement for the spanking link within that page...pay per minute porn? nice...


You know you are a stupid computer user when you try to jam a PS/2 keyboard plug into S-video.

[sulusulu]

You plug in the floppy power connector one pin off... and don't notice until smoke starts coming our of your computer. :oops:

[gupta_sumesh63]

When you call Bill gates to ask why did he name the OS "WINDOWS" and not "GATES" ???

[erfahren]

... when you plug in a USB cord from your printer into your laptop's ethernet port and wonder why it won't print. (I did that the other day - lol !)

[hhhhhx]

you're this guy (http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html). http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee303/Dngrs_1/rollin.gif

BSD (http://www.bsd.org/), Lunix (http://www.lunix.com/), Debian (http://www.debian.org/) and Mandrake (http://www.mandrake.com/) are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system (http://www.lunix.com/), invented by a Soviet computer hacker (http://www.goldeneye.com/julian/boris.html) named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix (http://www.xenix.org/)", which was written by Microsoft (http://www.microsoft.com/) for the US government (http://www.usflag.org/). These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone (http://www.att.net/).

Your son may try to install "lunix (http://www.lunix.com/)" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix (http://www.lunix.com/) is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional (http://www.adequacy.org/public/users/70/index.html).


If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix (http://www.lunix.com/). In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix (http://www.lunix.com/) is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

:lolflag::lolflag::lolflag::lolflag:

[erfahren]

When you call Bill gates to ask why did he name the OS "WINDOWS" and not "GATES" ???
that reminded me of this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHO8l-Bd1O4) - lol

[stoodleysnow]

When you think a Hard Drive is the big box with all those complex wires and thingies, and the computer itself is the bit behind the screen (and you've never seen a Mac)
---
When you think a Mac is a raincoat, a PC is a constable, a keyboard s something you hang keys on and a mouse is a rodent.

[GepettoBR]

When you try using the optical mouse to read barcodes when paying bills online (I once got a call from my mother-in-law saying that her mouse wasn't working - when I got to her house that's what she was trying to do)

[sajro]

...you install Linux on a computer that you don't own. (I swear it was an accident.)

...you spend so much time on SIMPLE interfaces that you almost faint from overload when you see Vista. (It's too much. I seriously should use something a bit more complex than JWM...but I love it too much.)

[GepettoBR]

When you wonder why no one mentions the soft drive.

[jpittack]

When you ask how to copy paste!

ARGH!

My mom won't stop asking!

Get this! She knows how to drag highlighted text!

ARGH!

Oh, in a non-yelling manner. You think Linux won't work without Windows.

[hhhhhx]

you type web addresses in the google bar :)

[LaRoza]

you type web addresses in the google bar :)

Being an Opera user, I can use many search engines without need to go to another bar.

"g Ubuntu forums" will google "Ubuntu forum" and "z linux books" will search amazon.com. Very handy, I don't know why people need another bar for it.

[hhhhhx]

Being an Opera user, I can use many search engines without need to go to another bar.

"g Ubuntu forums" will google "Ubuntu forum" and "z linux books" will search amazon.com. Very handy, I don't know why people need another bar for it.
that seems useful and confusing at the same time, although i am one of those people who like to be able to do the same thing 10 different ways

[LaRoza]

that seems useful and confusing at the same time, although i am one of those people who like to be able to do the same thing 10 different ways

Not confusing. Imagine just googling terms with typing a "g" then whatever you want to google in the address bar.

There are other letters, for many search engines by default. I just use the google and amazon ones.

[hhhhhx]

Not confusing. Imagine just googling terms with typing a "g" then whatever you want to google in the address bar.

There are other letters, for many search engines by default. I just use the google and amazon ones.

but why does Amazon use a z?

[LaRoza]

a is for answers.com

There are many search engines to use, including commerce and other search engines and even a find in page.

[GamingMazter]

When you find out what the internet is but you can't fish with it because you can't find the 'net'!

[legend2440]

You hit the TAB key and expect soda to come out

[use a name]

You need a program like Photoshop CS (for photography work), but choose to run Ubuntu because you love it so much.

Soooo true. Oh well, continuously switching between digikam, lightzone and the gimp can be fun too!

[elbel86]

You download a program from the internet, then open your cd drive to find that it didn't download a disc. Hmm... must be something wrong.

[amingv]

When a sales clerk uses the 'cup holder' joke, you find it amusing.

[dgray_from_dc]

When you're on a Kubuntu PC and ask its owner "How'd you get Windows to look like this?"

[MONODA]

...When the shop assistant says it's got 250 gigs and you think "Wow, fantastic, I've only ever been to a handful of gigs in my life!"
hahahah

[Kevbert]

The coffee cup holder is also used for playing CDs.

[MONODA]

Not confusing. Imagine just googling terms with typing a "g" then whatever you want to google in the address bar.

There are other letters, for many search engines by default. I just use the google and amazon ones.
in firefox if u dont type a normal URL in the adress bar (e.g. ubuntu linux) it will search google.

... you call * a snowflake
... you think Firefox is the 1982 movie about a really cool jet
... you really think you win something for being the 421,232th visitor
... on windows when norton says that the trial has expired, you ignore it and try to scan anyway
... your home network is named linksys

[eric_son]

... your home network is named linksys


:lolflag: So true. :)

[ultimatsz]

you think the monitor is the compuiter
Ouote FuturePilot
You realize the internet isn't working because it's not plugged in

I once had a similar problem with my monitor, :oops:


and yes. my neighbour thinks the monitor is the computer.. it is not imac. just a monitor.. i asked for the monitor because mine is not working and... the reply was "you will take my private datas away" lol

[LaRoza]

and yes. my neighbour thinks the monitor is the computer.. it is not imac. just a monitor.. i asked for the monitor because mine is not working and... the reply was "you will take my private datas away" lol

I never thought that, just that my monitor wasn't working because it wasn't plugged in to the computer.

To be fair, I was setting up a KVM in limited spaces, and I couldn't easily see the back of the other computer.

I love showing people their internet cache, it really freaks them out.

[2rB]

... you dont understand why all those warez-files keep showing up at your FTP-server :oops:

Later on - after some research it turned out that anonymus login were allowed [-( Stupid Win-box

[NIT006.5]

...you ask questions like "Can you use the mouse with Linux?"

...you can't live without Microsoft's clip-art gallery.

...you think the big green "Start" button in Windows is really cool.

...your password is the brand name written in big letters on your monitor.

...your favourite operating system is Windows Media Player.

...you tell people how you accidentally formatted your hard drive with a virus you wrote in DOS and then recovered your data by doing a defrag.

And yes, I've been told all of the above, including the last two! :lolflag:

ps. My response to the last one was "Wow! Really? That's impressive hey." And I even managed to say it with a straight face.

[whynotchevron]

when the customer calls the cpu "the modem"
or the operating system "google"
:confused: :confused:

[Het Irv]

You call down to the IT Department with a problem and they hang up on you.

[MONODA]

... your desktop has ALL of your documents but you wont accept having your books on your bookshelf out of order

[yabbadabbadont]

... you have to unplug the power cord from the wall socket in order to reboot the machine.

(I don't miss taking support calls like that at all :D)

[Overbyte]

...when you blindly open email attachments
...when you can't differentiate between spyware and viruses
...when you keep your password in a sticky note under the keyboard
...when you burn the Ubuntu ISO as data and you expect to boot from it
...when you think multivolume RARs are always fakes
...when you gladly fork $3000 for a paper-thin laptop with only a USB port and no DVD drive (talk about fashion statement)

[jpittack]

When you don't know how to update virus defentions.
You use right click to open a link.

a side note: My mom tried to use the john handcock reference, and said john henry. She is the one that uses right click. She also has a Mac.

[bjschuma]

You use matches to burn a cd

[Dngrsone]

a side note: My mom tried to use the john handcock reference, and said john henry. She is the one that uses right click. She also has a Mac.

John Hancock (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Hancock)

http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee303/Dngrs_1/Darnkids.gif

[eric_son]

...when you gladly fork $3000 for a paper-thin laptop with only a USB port and no DVD drive (talk about fashion statement)

:lolflag:
I personally know a couple of people who fit in that category.

... (windows) you have a folder, most likely the root folder (e.g. C:\) that contains more than 2000++ of your files (documents, spreadsheets, etc).
... (windows) you've got 200 fonts installed, yahoo, skype, google deskbar, an anti virus, an anti spyware, all eye candy enabled, and you complain about why your system takes half a day to boot up

[GepettoBR]

You use matches to burn a cd

:lolflag: and your hands to rip a CD.

[Trail]

when after all this time of using linux you've been looking all over synaptic, the web etc for kicker's sources, and you just discovered
apt-get source kdebase
....

[solitaire]

you describe your PC as "It's got a small furry animal with a long curly tail (but it's not a rat) atached to a TV with VD"

[WarMonkey]

When you think a text file made of 0's and 1's is going to destroy your computer.

[Aquaman420]

You think Bill Gates invented the computer. (some people do)
You call Gutsy seven point one.
You think base-2 is an army compound.

[the_sorrow]

when you have an Informatics degree and you think windows vista is good just for the way it looks.

I know a dude who thinks that!!!

[the_sorrow]

you're this guy (http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html). http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee303/Dngrs_1/rollin.gif

OMFG can you believe this dude??
Is this a joke?
Come one he needs help, seriously guys!!

The first time I told my father that I could enter someones computer, he said: "That's my boy, let's get you a new computer and try the Pentagon"
He bought the new computer.

[Liet_Kynes]

you need a tutorial (http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=86816) to move your computer.

LOL! I think that tutorial needs a few photos or something cos it totally confused me. I'm calling tech support to move my pc they say they can be in by friday :)

[Liet_Kynes]

Being an Opera user, I can use many search engines without need to go to another bar.

"g Ubuntu forums" will google "Ubuntu forum" and "z linux books" will search amazon.com. Very handy, I don't know why people need another bar for it.

Firefox can do it too. Just type your search terms in the address bar (not the google bar). It does a google search by default. ;)

[argraff]

I had a friend who called me for help with their computer a lot. One conversation went like this:

"My computer did something weird."
"Okay, what?"
"It came up with an error."
"What did it say?"
"I don't know, I pulled the plug out of the wall and called you."

Turns out, Firefox wanted to know if it should be the default browser. #-o

[Joeb454]

:lolflag: oh dear

[LaRoza]

Firefox can do it too. Just type your search terms in the address bar (not the google bar). It does a google search by default. ;)

I know. Now have it search Amazon. ('z' in Opera), or the 20 others Opera has by default.

(Opera uses google by default too)

[LaRoza]

I had a friend who called me for help with their computer a lot. One conversation went like this:

"My computer did something weird."
"Okay, what?"
"It came up with an error."
"What did it say?"
"I don't know, I pulled the plug out of the wall and called you."

Turns out, Firefox wanted to know if it should be the default browser. #-o

Tell them to put the computer back in its box.

[Ghuloomo]

When i tell you click on start menu and u keep looking for it
or when i tell u about linux and u say what is that? i tell u it's an OS, u say what is OS? i tell u like windows xp, the whole desktop, taskbar, and everything, they are all part of the os. u say AHA

Microsoft makes stupid computer users. Linux guide them!

[Ghuloomo]

you're this guy (http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html). http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee303/Dngrs_1/rollin.gif
BSD (http://www.bsd.org/), Lunix (http://www.lunix.com/), Debian (http://www.debian.org/) and Mandrake (http://www.mandrake.com/) are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system (http://www.lunix.com/), invented by a Soviet computer hacker (http://www.goldeneye.com/julian/boris.html) named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix (http://www.xenix.org/)", which was written by Microsoft (http://www.microsoft.com/) for the US government (http://www.usflag.org/). These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone (http://www.att.net/).

Is that true?!

[Ghuloomo]

And these are the one I liked :KS

you need a tutorial to move your computer.
You need a program like Photoshop CS (for photography work), but choose to run Ubuntu because you love it so much.
When you call Bill gates to ask why did he name the OS "WINDOWS" and not "GATES" ???
Oh, in a non-yelling manner. You think Linux won't work without Windows.
you type web addresses in the google bar
Though it works, but so stupid!
When you're on a Kubuntu PC and ask its owner "How'd you get Windows to look like this?"
...your favourite operating system is Windows Media Player.
... (windows) you've got 200 fonts installed, yahoo, skype, google deskbar, an anti virus, an anti spyware, all eye candy enabled, and you complain about why your system takes half a day to boot up
I had a friend who called me for help with their computer a lot. One conversation went like this:

"My computer did something weird."
"Okay, what?"
"It came up with an error."
"What did it say?"
"I don't know, I pulled the plug out of the wall and called you."

Turns out, Firefox wanted to know if it should be the default browser.

When you call your ISP and tell them my internet is not working. They say ok click on start, u say: I'm not running windows, im on linux, they say: sorry our internets wont work on that!
:lolflag:

[LaRoza]

The HowTo move your computer article, here (http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=86816), has an option to give feedback.

http://docs.info.apple.com/survey/index.html?v=3&artnum=86816

I chose the third option.

[amingv]

Your login procedure:

Login: yes
Password: i dont have one
password is incorrect

Login: yes
Password: incorrect

[geo909]

When you use your CD tray to place your cup of coffe

[Het Irv]

OMFG can you believe this dude??
Is this a joke?
Come one he needs help, seriously guys!!

The first time I told my father that I could enter someones computer, he said: "That's my boy, let's get you a new computer and try the Pentagon"
He bought the new computer.
That artical was written as satire, (I think). It is only funny if taken seriously.

[GepettoBR]

Your login procedure:

Login: yes
Password: i dont have one
password is incorrect

Login: yes
Password: incorrect


That almost made me snort out my cappuccino.

[aks44]

when you snail-mail a xerox (recto-verso) of a 3"1/2 floppy, when asked for a "copy" of it

when you snail-mail a 5"1/4 floppy with a paper note stapled on it

](*,)

[the_sorrow]

Tell them to put the computer back in its box.

I second that motion

[dmitryilyin]

You leave your Wireless Access Point open with default values so that your neighbor can surf the internet at your expense.

Actually i set up free hostap with big antenna and tranparent proxy so everyone around my building can use internet)

[use a name]

Well, I've got problems turning off my computer. :confused:

[uberlube]

OMFG can you believe this dude??
Is this a joke?
Come one he needs help, seriously guys!!

The first time I told my father that I could enter someones computer, he said: "That's my boy, let's get you a new computer and try the Pentagon"
He bought the new computer.

HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!!!!!!! :lolflag:

At first I thought that it was some kind of a prank, but I was more and more shocked as I read on. It really saddens me to think that there are parents out there that might read that article and take it to heart. What a complete and utter fool. I feel really bad for his children.

[solitaire]

you are directed to this page by tech support

http://web.archive.org/web/20060128094421/http://web14.compaq.com/falco/detail.asp?FAQnum=FAQ2859

[Het Irv]

Well, I've got problems turning off my computer. :confused:

Have you tried turning it on in the first place??

[Het Irv]

sorry for the double post but this is good

you try to clean up your windows install with windex inside the tower.

[amingv]

you are directed to this page by tech support

http://web.archive.org/web/20060128094421/http://web14.compaq.com/falco/detail.asp?FAQnum=FAQ2859

Sweet baby Jesus...

And I though that was a subculture in-joke...

-You start babbling to your friends of how you h4x0r3d Sony Records using a program called "Kazaa".

[yabbadabbadont]

you are directed to this page by tech support

http://web.archive.org/web/20060128094421/http://web14.compaq.com/falco/detail.asp?FAQnum=FAQ2859

People laugh at that, but we used to put a sticky label on the space bar of systems we staged that said, "Any key". Some customers would laugh when they saw it, others would say stuff like, "I always wondered which key that meant..." If it saved us just one support call in the middle of the night, it was worth it. One of the other guys and I went through all the code at one point and replaced references to "any key" with "space bar". That also helped to cut down on after hours support calls. :lol:

[amingv]

People laugh at that, but we used to put a sticky label on the space bar of systems we staged that said, "Any key". Some customers would laugh when they saw it, others would say stuff like, "I always wondered which key that meant..." If it saved us just one support call in the middle of the night, it was worth it. One of the other guys and I went through all the code at one point and replaced references to "any key" with "space bar". That also helped to cut down on after hours support calls. :lol:

I suppose that means the times of admiring Einstein, Edison and Da Vinci; of the Industrial Revolution and of the overall desire of being a little different from monkeys has come to an end.
And I though I was going crazy...

If somebody needs me, I'll be on Wikipedia, changing the entry on infinite monkey theorem to infinite human theorem.

[Dngrsone]

HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!!!!!!! :lolflag:

At first I thought that it was some kind of a prank, but I was more and more shocked as I read on. It really saddens me to think that there are parents out there that might read that article and take it to heart. What a complete and utter fool. I feel really bad for his children.

It is a prank. The truly sad thing is that just as many savvy people take it seriously as ignorant ones.

[LaRoza]

People laugh at that, but we used to put a sticky label on the space bar of systems we staged that said, "Any key". Some customers would laugh when they saw it, others would say stuff like, "I always wondered which key that meant..." If it saved us just one support call in the middle of the night, it was worth it. One of the other guys and I went through all the code at one point and replaced references to "any key" with "space bar". That also helped to cut down on after hours support calls. :lol:

You can reverse the joke, by changing the code to "Press a key to continue". The thing is, it only responds to the "a" key.

[Het Irv]

Obviously you have never had a job in tech support. Even after you told someone how to get past that point....people still call...with the same problem.

[use a name]

I don't think I can call any tech-support (didn't come with the parts I ordered...), nor am I interested in calling them for fun, but I guess a lot of people just love giving tech-support a hard time. :)

I know some people really can't help it. The ones that hold the mouse to the screen or, a while back, 'unwrap' 5.25" floppies and complain that it does not work, even after putting 5 of 'm in the drive... (really happened, but I wasn't the tech-support guy).

[Chame_Wizard]

...you download programs,you don't know.

... you have to reinstall Windows every time it's crash

...you and other people think,that Windows( and M$ self) is superior to Linux,Mac OS X,BSD, Unix+other OS and is innovative.

:KS

[pcjunkie]

My Boss does not know what "save as" does....:(


(Ps I don't really do allot at work) :popcorn:

[littlemog]

wow. your boss deserves an award.

[Shippou]

Related to programming: you go crazy for days just debugging this code that returns zero always, where in fact you don't want that:

int x, y, q;
q = x/y;

Sample run:
x=5
y=10
q=0.5 (should be the quotient)

Our prof. said this to us... He also experienced it in their MP. :)

Ordinary life:
You complain that vista ultimate does not run so smoothly in your computer when you only have 512 RAM.... (happened to me)
Ubuntu and its distros are hard to use...
1+1=2 in binary...
You don't know how to use sudo apt-get install <package> after 10 months of konsole usage...

[LaRoza]

Related to programming: you go crazy for days just debugging this code that returns zero always, where in fact you don't want that:

int x, y, q;
q = x/y;

Sample run:
x=5
y=10
q=0.5 (should be the quotient)

Our prof. said this to us... He also experienced it in their MP. :)


They are integers, and will give integer answers.

[harold4]

They are integers, and will give integer answers.

BAM! :)

[monsieurdozier]

-When you think you can clean your computer by running it under water. *Knows someone who did this.
-When you call your work's computer guy at one in the morning asking him what to do about a screen that says, "Press Enter." *Happened to my dear ol' dad.

[Taino]

...when you stick your computer in a bookcase or shelf surrounded by items, dust, and no air-flow then complain when it overheats and burns out the power supply, then say that it happened because it was a cheap PC, and not anything they did.

Ive seen people doing this over and over... :)

[manlyman]

...you call tech support for help on how to read the instruction's manual.

My sister did that. o.O

[Dngrsone]

It takes some kind of special to waste an entire day reinstalling Ubuntu fifteen times trying to figure out why the new install won't update, only to realize you forgot to grant exception to the machine in question in the firewalls content filter. http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee303/Dngrs_1/doh.gif

[Trail]

When you program for so long, and spend 30-60 minutes trying to see why a C++ std::list doesn't work as intended, only to find out finally that you assign inside an if statement instead of comparing...

( if(x=y) instead of if(x==y) ).

[Het Irv]

...you call tech support for help on how to read the instruction's manual.

My sister did that. o.O

I don't know, some of those tech manuals read like contortionist instructions.

Now, with the third toe on you left foot press the "j" key. Next, press and hold "g" with your nose to reboot the computer to complete the installation.


Go ahead, try it.

[MONODA]

your first time using ed goes something like this:
[stupid@user-laptop ~]$ ed
^[[C
?
zfg
?
m
?

?

?
sg
?
start
?

?
cat
?
x
?
ed
?

?
ed sucks
?

?

?

?
!!!!!!
?

[NIT006.5]

your first time using ed goes something like this:

Hahahaha.... yep, kind of like my first time in vi. Didn't even know what it was.

[MONODA]

Hahahaha.... yep, kind of like my first time in vi. Didn't even know what it was.
yeah lol, I still dont know how to use ed, vim is awesome though. First time I used it I got frustrated and just started pressing random key untill I pressed i/a and found out thats how you intert chars.

[NIT006.5]

yeah lol, I still dont know how to use ed, vim is awesome though. First time I used it I got frustrated and just started pressing random key untill I pressed i/a and found out thats how you intert chars.

At least you figured it out. I had to phone someone to find out how to quit vi.

:lolflag:

[markp1989]

...when you stick your computer in a bookcase or shelf surrounded by items, dust, and no air-flow then complain when it overheats and burns out the power supply, then say that it happened because it was a cheap PC, and not anything they did.

Ive seen people doing this over and over... :)


My sister did that , the CPU got to about 95-100 C every day for about 6 months before it died, Im Suprised it lasted that long

[Barrucadu]

When the only way you know to get out of Vim is to switch to another tty, log in, and kill it.

[MONODA]

the other day I was sitting with some friends and a few were talking about computers, I had to listen because I knew someone was going to say something stupid. Then, a friend of mine says,"You know there really is such thing as computer language?" and then another one says, "Yeah it's called like HTML or something right?" LOL I laughed so hard!

[MONODA]

You guys would like this:
http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/

[MONODA]

* Tech Support: "Sir, Click Start, then Run, and type the letters C, M, and D."
* Customer: "Wait a minute, don't run off the end of the earth away from me now. I can only go so fast with this thing."
* Tech Support: "Sorry, sir. Did you click Start?"
* Customer: "Where is that start button? Oh, here is is. Now what?"
* Tech Support: "Um, did you click it?"
* Customer: "Dammit, no, do that now?"
* Tech Support: "Yes, then click on the word Run."
* Customer: "Dammit, slow down!!! Run, run, run, where the hell is run?"
* Tech Support: "Should be a the very bottom of the Start Menu that came up on the screen."
* Customer: "I already clicked Start. Click it again?"
* Tech Support: "No, it should be there in the lower left corner."
* Customer: "Hey, I found the word Run. You want that instead?"
* Tech Support: "Sure, why not? We'll see if that works. Did you click it?"
* Customer: "Yes."
* Tech Support: "Ok, type the letters C, M, and then D."
* Customer: "Slow down, dammit!! I'm not a programmer!!! I told you I'm only a car dealer!!"
* Tech Support: "Sorry, again, sir, what do you have there?"
* Customer: "Z."
* Tech Support: "No, we need 'C' like 'Charlie.'"
* Customer: "C-H-A-R--"
* Tech Support: "Not the whole word 'Charlie,' sir, just the 'C,' please."
* Customer: "If you don't want a Charlie, why tell me to type it?"
* Tech Support: "Um, what's in the box now?"
* Customer: "I'm trying to find the eraser here."
* Tech Support: "Just hit the backspace key."
* Customer: "That just moves it further to the right without typing anything."
* Tech Support: "Which backspace key did you press?"
* Customer: "The long one in the middle. I pressed it on the back side."

Eventually, we "found" the correct backspace key and got that Z replaced with a C.

* Tech Support: "Now that we just have a 'C' there, type an 'M,' like 'Mary,' but just the 'M,' ok?"
* Customer: "M-O-K."
* Tech Support: "Remember that backspace key?"
* Customer: "Yes."
* Tech Support: "Press it twice."
* Customer: "All right, but it took off the 'O' and 'K' you wanted."
* Tech Support: "Never mind that, I'll live. Now type a 'D,' just the letter D."
* Customer: "D. Now what?"
* Tech Support: "Now press the enter key."
* Customer: "E-N-T-E-R."
* Tech Support: "Is there anyone else around the lot that is maybe a little more familiar with computers than you are?"
* Customer: "Well, my wife uses one at her work and might be a little more familiar. She comes in in an hour. You want to talk to her?"
* Tech Support: "Yes, please."

LOL

* Customer: "I have just received your software, but I have these plastic things, what are they?"
* Tech Support: "Could you describe them please?"
* Customer: "They are black plastic, thin, and square."
* Tech Support: "Anything else?"
* Customer: "They have a metal bit on one edge."
* Tech Support: "Disks?"
* Customer: "Well, I don't know, do I? I just brought your package. What do I do with them?"

I see a horrible call ahead, and the customer is quite irate already.

* Tech Support: "Put the disks in the drive."
* Customer: "What's a drive?"
* Tech Support: "The slot in your machine that looks just the right size for the disk."
* Customer: "Which machine?"
* Tech Support: "Do you have a hard drive?"
* Customer: "I have two boxes. One has a picture on it."
* Tech Support: "Put the first disk in, metal side first."
* Customer: "Ok. It's gone in."
* Tech Support: "Go to the 'start' button, then run, then type 'setup'."
* Customer: "My computer isn't on. How do I turn it on?"
* Tech Support: "Push the button by the drive to eject the disk, and press the button that says 'power' on the machine without the pictures on it."
* Customer: "Ok. Done."
* Tech Support: "Now put in the disk, go to start, run, and type 'setup'."
* Customer: "Oh, it's all working now. Thanks, but your software isn't very easy to use, is it?"

that seems vaguely familiar doesnt it?
EDIT: http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid/cs_calls.shtml those are the funniest

sry but I have to post this one:
I had this conversation recently with a lady who swore she had been using computers since forever.

* Tech Support: "All right. Now click 'OK'."
* Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
* Tech Support: "Yes, click 'OK'."
* Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
* Tech Support: "That's right. Click 'OK'."
* Customer: "So I click 'OK', right?"
* Tech Support: "Right. Click 'OK'."

Pause.

* Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
* Tech Support: "YOU CLICKED 'CANCEL'???"
* Customer: "That's what I was supposed to do, right?"
* Tech Support: "No, you were supposed to click 'OK'."
* Customer: "I thought you said to click 'Cancel'."
* Tech Support: "NO. I said to click 'OK'."
* Customer: "Oh."
* Tech Support: "Now we have to start over."
* Customer: "Why?"
* Tech Support: "Because you clicked 'Cancel'."
* Customer: "Wasn't I supposed to click 'Cancel'?"
* Tech Support: "No. Forget that. Let's start from the top."
* Customer: "Ok."

I spent the next fifteen minutes re-constructing the carefully crafted setup for this lady's unique computer.

* Tech Support: "All right. Now, are you ready to click 'OK'?"
* Customer: "Yes."
* Tech Support: "Great. Now click 'OK'."

Pause.

* Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."

And people wonder why my mouse pad has a target on it labeled "BANG HEAD HERE."

[Captain Oblivious]

Friend: I got a laptop computer. What else do I need for email?
Me: You need an internet connection.

weeks go by

Friend: I got internet. can you set up email for me?
Me: Okay, can you bring your computer next time I see you?
Friend: How do you set it up?
Me: Well, a lot of people just go to a website like hotmail.com, gmail.com or yahoo.com and set up an account. The company you buy your internet from might offer email to their customers.
Friend: What do I do?
Me: Go to the website and follow the instructions they have for joining. Usually there's a place to click that says "sign up for email" or "get a username"
Friend: I'll try that.



I still don't know if he ever set it up. He hasn't asked for more help, but he hasn't given me his email address either. Maybe he just wants to avoid me.

[wargodsown]

you know ur a dumb computer user when u read the help and guide thread and they talk aboute maliciouse codeing and u imput one just cuz it sounds interesting to watch(have a buddy learning computer programming and he likes to infect his comp to c if he can fix it or watch it explode lmao)

[firestorm_v1]

General User:

- You push the phone connector into the modem so hard that it breaks the phone off the modem PCB thinking that it would go faster.
- You live in a huge three story house and think the wireless is broken because you can't get signal in your granite-lined living room. (the router was on the third floor study.)
- You think that just by unplugging your network cable makes your laptop wireless.
- you copy MP3s to your ipod's drive letter thinking that's how you put them on there.

Hardware hacker:
-Loose screws are OK, the manufacturer always puts in extras.
-You think that a paperclip easily doubles as a temporary fuse.
-You think that Vin and Vdd are the same and that a 5v rail and a 12v rail are also the same.
-You think that AC is DC with split personalities.
-TxD is for incoming and RxD is for outgoing on a standard serial port.

Network Engineer:
-You connect a patch cord to an auto-sensing switch after removing a computer and you forget what the other end is connected to, then you spend 15 minutes wondering why in the heck these two ports are blinking and colliding like crazy.
-You try to route against a 10. address on a 192.168 network.
-Someone asks you for an IP address on a windows box and you think that there's nothing wrong with 169.254.1.230.
-you down the lo interface, just because it doesn't do anything.
-you still use WEP in your apartment complex because your ancient wireless card doesn't support WPA.
-you think that an 8 port switch also doubles as an 8 port T1 aggregator and want to know where the POTS lines are for.

[markp1989]

all things my dad does:

Calls internet explorer "the internet"
Called Outlook "microsoft"

is convinced that the computers at work are faster because they have wireless keyboards and mice

there are prob some more, il post as soon as i remember them

[DeVonne]

When you see someone burning a cd and get the fire extinguisher

When it says it has a virus and you give it antibiotics

When it says drivers not found you give it your keys

When it over heats and you make toast in it

You put a tomato slice in the cdrom drive (brother did that one when he was little)

[Captain Oblivious]

...when you gladly fork $3000 for a paper-thin laptop with only a USB port and no DVD drive (talk about fashion statement)

I would like for my laptop to weigh a little less, but I'm not willing to pay twice the price for half the functionability and twice the breakability, just so it's easier to lug this thing around.

[GepettoBR]

I would like for my laptop to weigh a little less, but I'm not willing to pay twice the price for half the functionability and twice the breakability, just so it's easier to lug this thing around.

I thought of the acronym before I thought of the actual word. Something is definitely wrong with me.

[afeasfaerw23231233]

my asus mobo post said keyboard not found, press any key to ignore. then i pressed and it booted up.

[CREEPING DEATH]

You plug in the floppy power connector one pin off... and don't notice until smoke starts coming our of your computer. :oops:
Is that what causes that? I was rebuilding an old eMachines and the bloody thing caught fire and destroyed a brand new PS in less than 10 seconds!

Your login procedure:

Login: yes
Password: i dont have one
password is incorrect

Login: yes
Password: incorrect


Isn't that how to get your MCSE?

CD

[GepettoBR]

when ur passwords are really stupid things like "sexygirls"

Or your birthday

My g/f's password is my nickname, but she actually knows her way around a PC pretty well. She just doesn't care much for security.

[Achetar]

...when you buy a new computer for each program you need to run, then give up on it because it's too expensive.

...when you buy a stick of RAM from BestBuy and try and shove it in the floppy drive.

[popch]

.. when you use a computer and you are stupid.

[GepettoBR]

.. when you use a computer and you are stupid.

http://www.joke-portal.com/captain_obvious.jpg

[zetetic]

...you use Windoze.

[popch]

http://www.joke-portal.com/captain_obvious.jpg

Why, thank you. That's a very nice rock. Does it have a pedigree?

By the way, did you notice the difficulty in implementing my suggestion?

[GepettoBR]

Why, thank you. That's a very nice rock. Does it have a pedigree?

By the way, did you notice the difficulty in implementing my suggestion?

It doesn't have a pedigree, but I found it in a ruined castle so it used to belong to royalty.

I noticed no difficulty, since telemarketing employees all use computers.

[popch]

It doesn't have a pedigree, but I found it in a ruined castle so it used to belong to royalty.

I noticed no difficulty, since telemarketing employees all use computers.

A royal rock; now I am deeply moved, indeed. You are too gracious.

The thread's title is 'you know you are ..'. Do stoopid computer users know they are stupid, are are they just stupid without knowing?

[GepettoBR]

And thus I am caught by linguistics. Well done, sir, enjoy your royal rock!

[popch]

And thus I am caught by linguistics. Well done, sir, enjoy your royal rock!

:lolflag:

Actually, the fault lies with my post which gained me my royal rock, not with you.

[liquidfunk]

You know you are a stupid computer user when you go onto an Apple Forum and discuss fruit.

[@_R_|\/|_@_G_E_|)_|)_0|\|]

:lolflag: and your hands to rip a CD.

And a syringe to extract files from your CPU!

:lolflag:

[mulek]

You know you are a stupid computer user when you go onto an Apple Forum and discuss fruit.


XDDD thats be best way to know u r a stupid in ur live, no only a computer user =)

[GepettoBR]

And a syringe to extract files from your CPU!

:lolflag:

Then, you use a vicegrip to compress the files in the syringe?

[BlackDragonBE]

...you use Windows instead of Linux without even thinking of trying it out.

[Chame_Wizard]

...you use Windows instead of Linux without even thinking of trying it out.

that's true \\:D/

[Dr Small]

...you use Windows instead of Linux without even thinking of trying it out.
or when you think linux is an application that runs on windows :P

[Daggo]

You know you are a stupid computer user when...

You have a constant fear of getting Anthrax through your email

[Sukarn]

I thought of the acronym before I thought of the actual word. Something is definitely wrong with me.

The lug in that sentence made me think of linux underground (the podcast), but that was after I read what you had written.

[GepettoBR]

So we both have a problem :)

I thought of the acronym for Linux User Group. I don't know that podcast.

[Redrazor39]

About the how to move your computer on apple support, I chose it was not helpful

Then I put it was too hard to understand

and for comments I put this:

Add pictures. A picture is worth a thousand words. I found this article far to complex to understand without proper diagrams.

[damis648]

You use white-out when you make a typo.

[jamieh]

8. Is Your Son Obsessed With "lunix"?

Bsd, Lunix, Debian And Mandrake Are All Versions Of An Illegal Hacker Operation System, Invented By A Soviet Computer Hacker Named Linyos Torovoltos, Before The Russians Lost The Cold War. It Is Based On A Program Called "xenix", Which Was Written By Microsoft For The Us Government. These Programs Are Used By Hackers To Break Into Other People's Computer Systems To Steal Credit Card Numbers. They May Also Be Used To Break Into People's Stereos To Steal Their Music, Using The "mp3" Program. Torovoltos Is A Notorious Hacker, Responsible For Writing Many Hacker Programs, Such As "telnet", Which Is Used By Hackers To Connect To Machines On The Internet Without Using A Telephone.

Your Son May Try To Install "lunix" On Your Hard Drive. If He Is Careful, You May Not Notice Its Presence, However, Lunix Is A Capricious Beast, And If Handled Incorrectly, Your Son May Damage Your Computer, And Even Break It Completely By Deleting Windows, At Which Point You Will Have To Have Your Computer Repaired By A Professional.

If You See The Word "lilo" During Your Windows Startup (just After You Turn The Machine On), Your Son Has Installed Lunix. In Order To Get Rid Of It, You Will Have To Send Your Computer Back To The Manufacturer, And Have Them Fit A New Hard Drive. Lunix Is Extremely Dangerous Software, And Cannot Be Removed Without Destroying Part Of Your Hard Disk Surface.

This Is Seriously The Funniest Thing I Have Ever Read!!!!

[Redrazor39]

When you react in the manner described in this video to a computer virus

(hilarious!!!) http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail118.html

[Jordanwb]

you throw a computer out when Windows screws up(I know someone like that)

So based on the "a computer" it doesn't have to be the one that screwed up? :)

you need a tutorial (http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=86816) to move your computer.

I sent a sarcastic message saying it was useful to me. I said I had a iMac running Windows 2000. lol

When you try using the optical mouse to read barcodes when paying bills online (I once got a call from my mother-in-law saying that her mouse wasn't working - when I got to her house that's what she was trying to do)

OMG.

Okay here's mine:

Recently we switched from Bell Sympatico to Rogers. Since I could set up the router to have the internet connection as always on (I could do that with Sympatico but didn't know it), I did. That meant for my dad one less way of horribly screwing up the computer. He asked "So how do I connect to the internet?" I had to say three times (each time being more annoyed) "Click on the Blue E on the desktop" (the PC ran XP). After each time he would ask "Is there anything else I need to do?", then after the third time he asked "How do I disconnect?" At that point I went downstairs and let him figure it out.

#-o#-o#-o](*,)](*,)](*,)

He's been around computers for 10+ years and he still hasn't figured out the basics.

[jamieh]

Me and my dad were helping my stepmother install a pirated version of Vista on her computer, and it wouldn't work. We both left the room for about twenty minutes and when I came back, she was on the phone with Microsoft tech support saying "I can't get this 'Paradox Vista Activation Crack' to work......."

We were laughing SO HARD!!!

[jamieh]

Whenever my sister receives ANY kind of dialog box, question, error message, you name it. She doesn't read it at ALL, she just clicks the little "X" in the corner.

[damis648]

Me and my dad were helping my stepmother install a pirated version of Vista on her computer, and it wouldn't work. We both left the room for about twenty minutes and when I came back, she was on the phone with Microsoft tech support saying "I can't get this 'Paradox Vista Activation Crack' to work......."

We were laughing SO HARD!!!

OMFG... THAT IS THE FUNNIEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!

Whenever my sister receives ANY kind of dialog box, question, error message, you name it. She doesn't read it at ALL, she just clicks the little "X" in the corner.

I know LOTS of people like that.
EDIT: No offense, but its sometime pretty sad. Sometime people jst close the dialog boxes and wonder why their stuff is not saved or something.

[KingTermite]

Every time you ask your computer guru friend how to fix your problem...no matter what the error is he always calls it an ID-10-T error.

[KingTermite]

Whenever my sister receives ANY kind of dialog box, question, error message, you name it. She doesn't read it at ALL, she just clicks the little "X" in the corner.

Sadly my girlfriend does that a lot too.

She tells me she had a problem and "so and so" wouldn't work. "It gave me an error" she says.

So I ask "what was the error"?

"I don't know, I closed it".

How the bloody hell can I help you fix the error if I can't see what the error was in the first place!!#$!@#!@!@

[GepettoBR]

Every time you ask your computer guru friend how to fix your problem...no matter what the error is he always calls it an ID-10-T error.

Or that its a severe case of PEBKAC.

[Sukarn]

Or that its a severe case of PEBKAC.

:lolflag:

[Sukarn]

My best friend is a complete illiterate. He did clear school, but I'm very doubtful whether he actually learnt any English there or not.

Even if there were only three things written on the screen: a description of what to do, a cancel button, and an OK button, he would still keep sitting in front of the PC and keep asking me "what do I have to do?" or else he would blindly click on either of the button without reading the description of what to do (even if it was only one step) and then ask "why isn't it working?"

I think he just does that to annoy me.

[lisati]

I've met people who don't know what "Windows" is, even though they've been using it in some form for a lot longer than I've had gear capable of running it.

[Flag]

You believe this guy, who normally helps you and who doesn't feel like it today, when he tells you the internet is full, so he honestly cannot help you out.

[beercz]

My best friend is a complete illiterate. He did clear school, but I'm very doubtful whether he actually learnt any English there or not.

Even if there were only three things written on the screen: a description of what to do, a cancel button, and an OK button, he would still keep sitting in front of the PC and keep asking me "what do I have to do?" or else he would blindly click on either of the button without reading the description of what to do (even if it was only one step) and then ask "why isn't it working?"

I think he just does that to annoy me.
Most people do not read the computer screen properly - try working in tech. support and you will see plenty of evidence of this.

The ignoring of error messages is very, very common!

[lisati]

Most people do not read the computer screen properly - try working in tech. support and you will see plenty of evidence of this.

The ignoring of error messages is very, very common!

I agree: a few years back I was considering writing a tutorial for users of MS-DOS computers - one of the first things that occurred to me was to say something about reading what was on the screen.

[elbel86]

I have had to explain wireless internet to several people who all think the same thing. They honestly think that if you buy the wireless router from walmart and hook it up in your home you will have wireless internet everywhere you go like wireless broadband from verizon. I don't know how many times I've been in the middle of the woods or something and they say "but I thought you had wifi?"

[swoll1980]

when you complain that you can't find the lock that the keyboard fits into.

[Sukarn]

when you complain that you can't find the lock that the keyboard fits into.

OK, this one is definitely a ^_~ for me

[Yondergod22]

these are all things my grandma does:
1. she thinks you have to close the internet browser (she just calls it "the internet") every time you go to a different website.
2. she freaked out when my my sister got a new computer with winxp and said it was outdated and stuff like that(she uses vista)
3. when I was installing ubuntu on my sisters new computer she said that was was going to break it, and I should only do "what im supposed to do" with a computer.

and lots more stuff I cant remember right now

[@_R_|\/|_@_G_E_|)_|)_0|\|]

When someone tells you to access the Home directory and you reply to them,"But I'm already at home!"

[FoxIII]

When you think you've lost all your data and all you've done is turn off your monitor (my family do this *all* the time)

You think windows is the only OS.

[GepettoBR]

You think windows is the only OS.

You don't know what an OS is - you think that Windows is just another part of the computer, like the monitor, the keyboard and the mouse. These four, to the best of your knowledge, are the only parts of a computer. That huge black box is just a centralized ON/OFF switch for these three parts.

[Fingers & Thumbs]

When you repeatedly try the same useless solution to a problem, in the hope that the computer changes it's mind

[GepettoBR]

When you repeatedly try the same useless solution to a problem, in the hope that the computer changes it's mind

With Windows, that sort of works more often than it should (which is never) but usually on problems that appeared unprompted like the keyboard driver suddenly being disabled for no reason.

[lisati]

When you repeatedly try the same useless solution to a problem, in the hope that the computer changes it's mind

With Windows, that sort of works more often than it should (which is never) but usually on problems that appeared unprompted like the keyboard driver suddenly being disabled for no reason.

Insanity? (See the sig)

[GepettoBR]

Insanity? (See the sig)

Pretty much the one-word summary of the Windows mentality.

[Achetar]

When you ask what I am doing and you answer that you are working on a new encryption method. Then realize that you are supposed to be writing a report. :O

[GepettoBR]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v395/gepetto/screenshots/Screenshot-1.png

[Sukarn]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v395/gepetto/screenshots/Screenshot-1.png

You forgot to highlight the "Shell of choice" although not knowing what a shell is does not necessarily mean stupid computer user.

[GepettoBR]

I thought about highlighting it too, but to me that just means "non-geek". But Operating system = dell? Come on...

[geek_Man]

"D*** it! How am I supposed to run Norton AND the internet???"

(for realz... that's why they use windows...)

[starcannon]

When you react in the manner described in this video to a computer virus

(hilarious!!!) http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail118.html

Oh god, I laughed till I choked. OMG hahahaha Strong Bad ftw!

[lukjad007]

...your computer won't start you go to the shoe store. (To get the "boot".)

[lukjad007]

...asked if you have Windows you say that you live in a basement apartment.

[lukjad007]

...asked if you have Windows you say that you live in a basement apartment.
...when you always quote the post in front of you even if it you are not answering it.

[misterhead]

Internet Explorer.exe is trying to connect to .....

* create a permanent rule and don't ask me again

* Deny / _ Permit

[lukjad007]

...you feel the urge to download the Internet. (Well, you can download it here (http://www.w3schools.com/downloadwww.htm) if you like.)

[lukjad007]

...the toilet overflows and you call tech support because, well, they ARE technicians!
...the toilet overflows and you assume that the computer has given it a virus.

[lukjad007]

...you use a drawing or cartoon as your Avatar. (Oh, wait... ummm.... uh...I don't count because it's an illustartion.)

[misterhead]

You post 6 times in a row on this thread and wonder why your post count doesn't go up.


Just kidding:)

how bout when you have to use the computer barefoot, because the mouse doesn't work right with shoes on.

[lukjad007]

You post 6 times in a row on this thread and wonder why your post count doesn't go up.


Just kidding:)

how bout when you have to use the computer barefoot, because the mouse doesn't work right with shoes on.

LOL

That's a good one. I was going to try that but now that you did that I'm going to try this:

...think that a hacker and a cracker are one and the same.
...that you insult a cracker.;)

[misterhead]

... or...
You spend all day in the community section instead of the technical sections, because they're the only ones you can legitimately contribute to...

wait, that's both of us.
:lolflag:

[benny bronx]

you decide to purchase that antispyware program that just popped up on your screen for no reason.

[lukjad007]

... or...
You spend all day in the community section instead of the technical sections, because they're the only ones you can legitimately contribute to...

wait, that's both of us.
:lolflag:

...Or you start a flame war on a supposedly lighthearted thread.[-(

[lukjad007]

you decide to purchase that antispyware program that just popped up on your screen for no reason.
Ummm what does that mean?

[lukjad007]

Ummm what does that mean?
Bump

[lukjad007]

Bump
bump bump

[lukjad007]

bump bump
...you post a question and then post another post and bump for no reason.

[misterhead]

...Or you start a flame war on a supposedly lighthearted thread.[-(

Touche'

haha

all in good humor my friend.

edit: or is it fiend?

[lukjad007]

Touche'

haha

all in good humor my friend.
I know. ;)

[lukjad007]

Touche'

haha

all in good humor my friend.

edit: or is it fiend?
BTW it's spelled touché.

[misterhead]

But I to am a stupid computer user who doesn't know how to put the " ' " over top of the " e "

[lukjad007]

BTW, I have 66 post and thanked 6 people. O.o

[lukjad007]

...you change the subject of a thread with weird and useless facts or comments.

[Sukarn]

When you make multiple posts one after the other, spanning multiple pages, instead of just editing your last post.

[robertchahine]

Originally Posted by nathangrubb View Post
you throw a computer out when Windows screws up(I know someone like that)
Originally Posted by Laroza I wish I lived near that person...
hahahaha, lol, same here, wishes that

[robertchahine]

when you try to turn on the computer and it didn't works, thinking that a virus "ate" the pc.But in fact, you didn't plug it to the electricity.
And you're stupid too, when you try to work on pc without a monitor or a screen

[lukjad007]

Bump

When you make multiple posts one after the other, spanning multiple pages, instead of just editing your last post.

...Or you start a flame war on a supposedly lighthearted thread.[-(

[lukjad007]

...or you repeat yourself.

[lukjad007]

...or you repeat yourself.
...or you repeat yourself.

[misterhead]

When you make multiple posts one after the other, spanning multiple pages, instead of just editing your last post.

If we team up, he could fight back against both of us in just 1 post, instead of 2...

or 45.:biggrin:

[lukjad007]

If we team up, he could fight back against both of us in just 1 post, instead of 2...

or 45.:biggrin:

What

[lukjad007]

What
a

[lukjad007]

a
good

[lukjad007]

good
idea

[lukjad007]

idea
.

[lukjad007]

.
;

[lukjad007]

;
)

[lukjad007]

;)
Okay, those last two were a bit extreme. ;)

[misterhead]

I can't figure out which one of us is more bored. You for posting all of those, or me for reading them all and posting back.

anyhow...

when you call the warrenty department to see about getting your built in cup holder repaired.

[lukjad007]

I can't figure out which one of us is more bored. You for posting all of those, or me for reading them all and posting back.

anyhow...

when you call the warrenty department to see about getting your built in cup holder repaired.

Dude, two words: Summer Vacation Raining.

[Ejas12]

you're this guy (http://www.adequacy.org/public/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html). http://i230.photobucket.com/albums/ee303/Dngrs_1/rollin.gif

Wen you read that an think:
"Ooooh man I am a Hacker and didnt knew it!!!!!"
:lolflag:

[EDavidBurg]

lolwut?

[misterhead]

Dude, two words: Summer Vacation Raining.

Uhm...
That would be THREE words, fellow stupid computer user.

[lukjad007]

Dude, three words: cannot count.

[misterhead]

BTW, I have 66 post and thanked 6 people. O.o

Reply BTW: I've only posted 47 times and only thanked 4 people, because I didn't need that much help.

Score one for the "slightly less" stupid computer user.

[robertchahine]

Wen you read that an think:
"Ooooh man I am a Hacker and didnt knew it!!!!!"
:lolflag:
hahahaha.yep,you're right !!:D

[celsdogg]

when you order a new laptop and call tech support because the network card is broken and wont connect to your router.

then you realize that you forgot to add the MAC address to the MAC filter list. . .

did i mention i got a new laptop :)

[misterhead]

when you order a new laptop and call tech support because the network card is broken and wont connect to your router.

then you realize that you forgot to add the MAC address to the MAC filter list. . .

did i mention i got a new laptop :)

when you thought you had to buy a P.C. instead of a MAC because of said "MAC" filter.

[benny bronx]

Ummm what does that mean?


Sorry, thought you were playing along with the spirit of the thread :). A user goes to a site concerning, say, movies, and a screen pops up saying "your computer is infected. you need to download Win virus Shredder NOW!"

[lukjad007]

If you actually were slightly less stupid you would have checked my history and seen that most of the posts were helping losers like you. ;) (All in fun.)

[lukjad007]

Sorry, thought you were playing along with the spirit of the thread :). A user goes to a site concerning, say, movies, and a screen pops up saying "your computer is infected. you need to download Win virus Shredder NOW!"

No, I got it. I was setting up my next joke. Thanks for the clarification anyway. ;)

[misterhead]

If you actually were slightly less stupid you would have checked my history and seen that most of the posts were helping losers like you. ;) (All in fun.)

I can't help it that work gave me a laptop with an ATI card](*,)d.

[lukjad007]

I can't help it that work gave me a laptop with an ATI card](*,)d.

Run that by me one more time?

All over the place, from the popular culture to the propaganda system, there is constant pressure to make people feel that they are helpless, that the only role they can have is to ratify decisions and to consume.
Noam Chomsky (1928 - )

Or in other words, excuses, excuses.

[misterhead]

...when you stayed 10 minutes late at work, posting in this thread, and can't wait to get home, just to ignore you wife and dogs, so you can get drunk and post some more.

[lukjad007]

...when you stayed 10 minutes late at work, posting in this thread, and can't wait to get home, just to ignore you wife and dogs, so you can get drunk and post some more.

You're at work? Man, what kind of job lets you do this instead of actual work? Can I send my résumé? ;)

P.S. Say Hi to the wife and kids for me.

[misterhead]

Run that by me one more time?



Or in other words, excuses, excuses.

Now THAT's funny! How the hell did you get it to do that? I guess I'll find out when I get home.

P.S. with that I am now 17 minutes late.:-x