The Finish The Story Thread

[LinuxGuy1234]

Microbill joined a terrorist organization, then charged with crimes against humanity. He was tried in Liberia, which he fled to. He was found guilty, and was hanged. This led to the creation of the Linux Freedom Group, and successfully pushed Microsoft out of bussiness. It promoted Linux fully. Everything was fine until...

[LinuxGuy1234]

a meteor struck Earth...

[LinuxGuy1234]

and "Big Brother" was watching some crappy video on YouTube when suddenly the meteor...

[jenkinbr]

Fell through the roof and landed on his computer. At this point, he...

[Nano Geek]

called the Geek-Squad. However they stole all of his Big Brotherish passwords so that they could...

[Nano Geek]

infiltrate his secret base and destroy evil for ever! However, there was a slight problem...

[LinuxGuy1234]

"Big Brother" encrypted his passwords using the OMG-WTF-BBQ-I-LIKE-CHESS-MD5-SHA586866989 encrypting method which was hard to crack. So...

[sstusick]

he gave up and ordered a pizza. Then...

[Nano Geek]

he realized that the pizza held the key to unlocking the password! So he then...

[LinuxGuy1234]

he slammed the pizza into his Ultimate Password Cracker and started the Geek Squad's computer. The passwords revealed were:

PBJTime
BillGatezRulzs
LinuxSuks
ILoveCocaine
SmokeTobacco
ILiveInTheNorth
HAHAHAHAHA!

[sstusick]

Unfortunately for him, the actual password was BillGatezSucks. This infuriated him, so he...

[Nano Geek]

ate the pizza and took a nap. After he woke up, he was startled to see...

[jenkinbr]

that Bill Gatez was on his computer running the forbiddon rf command. Seeing this, he got up and...

[Nano Geek]

pulled out his lightsaber. However, when Bill Gatez turned around, our hero realized that he was actually the evil Darth Gatzo! An epic duel erupted...

[LinuxGuy1234]

and caused Bill Gatez to install "Virus" 1.0.

[LinuxGuy1234]

Well...

[Nano Geek]

He would have succeeded except for the fact that the virus only worked with SP1. So then he...

[LinuxGuy1234]

reprogrammed the virus, infected the computer and this caused every computer from North America to Asia being infected. Linus Torvalds, a FBI agent and President of the Linux Empire was furious. So was Steve Jobs, a criminal which stole money. And so was I, the Vice President of the Linux Empire. After this everyone in the world, not including Linux/Mac users, prayed down to Bill Gates, which created the Billy Empire. The Linux/Mac users had started rebelling which caused...

[jyaan]

The release of Windows 7....

[LinuxGuy1234]

The release of Windows 7....

which grabbed the Mac users and not the Linux users. And so..

[jyaan]

All of their computers imploded because Microsoft simply released the beta of their operating system again and..

[LinuxGuy1234]

All of their computers imploded because Microsoft simply released the beta of their operating system again and..

caused pepperoni pizza to go everywhere...

[jyaan]

and making the Windows and ex-Mac users so fat they couldn't even move. Now without computer technology, nor the capability for physical momentum they....

[Nano Geek]

rented Wall-e to discover the secret of flying chairs! They were getting close, but suddenly...

[jyaan]

The fatness sunk in and they couldn't go on any longer! Fortunately....

[LinuxGuy1234]

from the clouds, diet pills for them came down. Then Bill Gates...

[jyaan]

Built a new empire with the diet pills from the sky, and got skinny enough to resurrect MSDOS. MSDOS was now the main competitor against free operating systems, with its fancy DRM and other amazing restrictions that companies love to violate users with. However...

[LinuxGuy1234]

it crashed a lot, so he ripped off the Linux source code and created Linux Vista. It never crashed, ever. It also was virus-free. But Microsoft critics said that it would crash if "crash=1" was specified to boot the BSoD (Bloated Screen of Death), which featured OpenBSD's puffer fish. In anger, OpenBSD, Linus Torvalds and the FSF sued MS, and got money. Microsoft Linux Vista still sold, but included source code, no GNU software, and the puffer fish was replaced with Steve Jobs in various torture scenes, like in OS X, where it was the same thing, but Bill Gates instead.

[LinuxGuy1234]

After 5 hours, Linux Vista was sold out. Then...

[billgoldberg]

After 5 hours, Linux Vista was sold out. Then...

WWIII broke out, bombarding Mankind back to the Stone Age ...

[jyaan]

Richard Stallman finally fit in as a caveman, but Bill Gates didn't care for being the runt. Linus invented fire and was going to share it with the community, but Bill saw it as his chance to be somebody again and hit Linus in the head with a rock, and stole the fire plans. With this he could finally...

[satanic-yobbo]

burn his empire to the ground and leave nothing but the charred remains for the rest of us to. . . .

[sstusick]

sweep up and throw out. Let's start a new story shall we?

[LinuxGuy1234]

There was a silly boy named...

[sstusick]

Francis. He...

[jyaan]

Loved to play piano but...

[satanic-yobbo]

it was hard for him to play because he had no bones in his fingers . . . .

[LinuxGuy1234]

One day, his parents knew that and went to the hospital where they but bones in his hands. Unfortunately, he actually turned into a Communist. Then...

[LinuxGuy1234]

he ran for...

[Nano Geek]

Russia. Unfortunately there was a ocean blocking his path. So then he...

[satanic-yobbo]

built a bridge the likes of which had never been seen here on ....

[Benismyhorse]

Earth, this was because the Doctor ((From Doctor Who)) helped him build this cool bridge that ran on coins . . . .

[satanic-yobbo]

that were derived after a strip mining operation on the planet....

[Benismyhorse]

of Gallifrey the doctors home planet . . . .

[Nano Geek]

which will soon be destroyed by the Death Star. Meanwhile, Luke Skywalker was...

[satanic-yobbo]

impatiently awaiting the arrival of his....

[Nano Geek]

sister Leia. She was late because...

[Benismyhorse]

she had been attacked by Darleks and her ship was going down but the doctor could see her from his tardis that was around the bridge that ran on coins . . . .

[satanic-yobbo]

but he didnt do anything about it because secretly he despised her for...

[Nano Geek]

insulting Darth Vader. Just as she was about to land, Gandalf arrived and... :confused:

[jenkinbr]

started BriNginG BacK ThE mulTi-FonT MulTiColOrEd BumP! which...

[LinuxGuy1234]

caused the Empire Civil War pushing the Empire to the end. However, a 2357-million ton of stuff, junk food, some evil takeover computers to use and cloned dictators helped Darth Vader to restart the Empire. Unfortunately, Linus Torvalds used the stuff to start his own empire. It was sent to Darth Vader as 255 tons of junk food and 2 dictators instead. Darth Vader started the Second Empire, which failed after the Battle of the Big Star. Then Darth Vader...

[satanic-yobbo]

had aheart attack and dropped dead from all the junk food was never heard from again . the rest of his empire quicky disbanded and turned .....

[LinuxGuy1234]

into pieces of trash. Then OpenBSD installed the "evil-1.0.0.0" package. Then OpenBSD started his empire called the BSD Confederation. FreeBSD and NetBSD joined it. Then this started The OS War, with the Billy Empire, BSD Confederation, Linux Empire, Unix Empire and the Geek Empire. The defeat went to...

[satanic-yobbo]

the billy empire ...who as easily as windows .. were broken into little pieces and swept up and discarded... never to bother the free world again with their bloated rubbish ...

[LinuxGuy1234]

ever again and to throw away. New story?

Once a upon of time God booted Linux and started Freeciv. The civilizations were the Antarctic (leader Tux), American (leader Richard Stallman), M$ (Steve Balmmer), Finnish (Linus Torvalds), and South African (leader Mark Shuttleman). The...

[LinuxGuy1234]

M$ civilization established "Evie" as a capital city. The Finnish...

[LinuxGuy1234]

did something... the end. New story.

[sstusick]

You were supposed to start a new story. Why didn't the...

[satanic-yobbo]

entire civilisation of earth move to thier original home planet of ......

[LinuxGuy1234]

Eavie...

[LinuxGuy1234]

...but it was too vandalized. So...

[sstusick]

he went to the dealership and rented one. Then he...

[LinuxGuy1234]

went to another planet, when suddenly...

[sstusick]

he died because of the lack of oxygen. That was a short story that...

[LinuxGuy1234]

that now ends. Once a upon of time...

[sstusick]

a man decided to try Linux. So he...

[abhilashm86]

contacted me and i gave him a ubuntu live cd..........

[Sam Lars]

....which didn't work on his computer, so....

[LinuxGuy1234]

he got OpenSUSE and it worked, but he was angered by YaST, so he...

[sstusick]

went back to Ubuntu after finally getting it working...and....

[Nano Geek]

ate a hotdog. After some consideration, he...

[LinuxGuy1234]

ate another hot dog, then another, and then another until he was fat. Then...

[elmer_42]

he realized how fat he was getting. He attempted to commit suicide by shoving a banana into his...

[LinuxGuy1234]

eyes, but failed. He took a knife and stabbed himself. Then...

[Sam Lars]

he blamed his obesity on Ubuntu, and went back to Windows, and

[Frak]

ate a hotdog, then decided to install gentoo BUT...

[LinuxGuy1234]

he thought the name was funny, but he went on to install it, laughing at the name. Then he did a emerge kde after looking at desktop environments. But he couldn't...

[LinuxGuy1234]

like the fact of building from source, but went on. Then he got along with Gentoo. Then he changed his diet to...

[LinuxGuy1234]

pizza, peas and bananas. Then...

[LinuxGuy1234]

he got overweight...

[sstusick]

so he decided to go on a diet. Unfortunately,

[MikeTheC]

his bicycle broke down. So instead, he...

[NET WT]

got liposuction, and bought himself a motorcycle. He never wore his helmet though, then one day...

[LinuxGuy1234]

he fell down from the motorcycle, landed on his leg, and suffered...

[MikeTheC]

a sudden infestation of rabbits. But then...

[LinuxGuy1234]

the rabbits were gone, and then...

[MikeTheC]

he was suddenly abducted by aliens who like motorcycle riding-humans (strange, yeah, I know...) and replaced him with a green-and-orange-striped three-headed alien who nobody was smart enough to notice the difference. When the alien arrived, he said...

[nshaikh]

the motorcycle was not mine ....

[NET WT]

but his taxi driver couldn't understand English. After he paid the driver, the alien rushed inside. Forgetting his luggage on the curb. Then immediately going online, he purchased a mail order llama. Several weeks later it arrived at his doorstep. But upon opening the wooden crate, the alien was surprised to find...

[joshmuffin]

A million ubuntu 8.10 live cds so he installed it on his computer. He loved it so much he installed it on every system he could find (especially if they didn't want it) and from that day on the world was perfect.....

[LinuxGuy1234]

until popcorn sales rised and people started buying popcorn. Then...

[pinged]

And then the alien who didn't know much about ubuntu (or linux for that matter) decided to sell the cds but...

[MikeTheC]

there was a going-out-of-business sale over at Linens 'N Things, so he...

[Bllasae]

there was a going-out-of-business sale over at Linens 'N Things, so he...
Went to McDonald's to prepare for...

[LinuxGuy1234]

fatting himself up. But for some reason he...

[ssj4Gogeta]

coudn't lift his legs. He Googled and found that a chemical named...

[jimi_hendrix]

Rock and Roll . . . .

[sstusick]

had given youngsters a bug that made them like the Rock 'n' Roll music of the 50s. The parents...

[Tim Sharitt]

...made cake and icecream for everybody! However, the police...

[LinuxGuy1234]

found out that his father was convinced to pretend to be the inventor of ice cream, and was put in jail. The father was replaced with Bill John Smith. Then the Ice Cream War broke out for some reason, triggering the Cow Wars, then the lack of oxygen caused by a large bubble from bubble gum caused everybody but 2 people to die. A woman and a father (who were the remaining human beings) had to reinvent everything and increase the population of the world. So...

[jimi_hendrix]

thy installed linux . . . .

[LinuxGuy1234]

...but they needed to invent computers. So...

[Universal344]

they threw the installation disk onto the ground and smashed in anger because they could not use it....

[LinuxGuy1234]

...but a computer appeared. So I came down from Tuxville (planet) to give more CDs and get everything of modern today. Now...

[Universal344]

they are arguing over what distro to install. "Ubuntu!" says one. "OpenSUSE!" says the other. And they kept fighting until...

[LinuxGuy1234]

...one shouted "Infinity Gentoo!" which means "Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo Gentoo ...", which meant Gentoo was installed on the computer... Then...

[Universal344]

the guy shouted "infinity gentoo," got out some pizza and shared with the others. But the pizza attracted the zombies from the nearby mall so...

[LinuxGuy1234]

he shouted "FREE VIRUSES!!!!!!" at the zombies and they ran away. Then potato chips and hot cocoa was invented. Now...

[LinuxGuy1234]

...they were in a fight...

[LinuxGuy1234]

...about who invented potato chips and...

[GammaRay256]

...they never finished because a dinosaur appeared out of nowhere and ate them all. Then...

[LinuxGuy1234]

...aliens invaded Earth and claimed that THEY invented potato chips, and hot cocoa. But 2 humans, male and female had just invented warfare. They drove the aliens off Earth, and the aliens agreed to say that they didn't invent potato chips and hot cocoa. The female invented potato chips and the male invented hot cocoa. Everything was peaceful until a volcano exploded. What happened was...

[LinuxGuy1234]

...a disaster. Then...

[jimi_hendrix]

a zombie horde invaded to combat the ninja army. . . .

[LinuxGuy1234]

...but failed. Suddenly...

[jillg]

...the aliens reapeared and taught both the zombies and the ninjas to do the moonwalk, when...

[sqrooup]

... some ghosts appeared, and turned the ninjas against the zombies and aliens. but all of a sudden...

[rick08]

pirates appeared and began to fight the ninja's and then...

[LinuxGuy1234]

...Frenchmen invented streets...

[meeples]

....and then ran away because the streets scared them....

[LinuxGuy1234]

...because Mark Shuttleworth put Ubuntu on the streets. Then a...

[LinuxGuy1234]

...pizza monster...

[BslBryan]

...decided to get revenge from its "parents", workers at Pizza Hut, because it was mad that none of its ingredients were real - the equivalent of being a test-tube child. Little did he know that...

[learning]

...the U.S. government had taken over Pizza Hut as part of a bailout program....

[clonne4crw]

...but failed when it was bought by Microsoft...

[brendan2121]

but then the evil monster attacked microsoft and ate bills head and choked!!!....

[brendan2121]

and thus the pizza monster died and his parents wept
not because he died but because the had to peal onions for the rest of there lives....:popcorn:

[Megrimn]

. . . . with spoons. Jimmy, however, could not figure out how to . . . .

[~~Tito~~]

find the magical beans of life. . . .

[pricetech]

Hidden under the peanuts stalks in the back yard of...

[pricetech]

A sorority full of ugly women who .....

[use a name]

claim to be raised by elephants...

[Frogs Hair]

Preformed a strange ritual within a circle of large stones , which included the use of ...

[julio_cortez]

vuvuzelas . . . .

[pricetech]

and a gray substance that had the consistency of....

[Frogs Hair]

Jello , was spread liberally on a leg of lamb made ready for roasting . A large fire was then started using...

[ubunterooster]

buffalo chips, which was smelly and caused large amounts of smoke that annoyed

[Jay Car]

the local anti-smoking League down the street, who began making irate phone calls to...

[Austin25]

...the local Best Buy support staff. They told them to restart, and...

[pricetech]

tried to sell them a new wide screen.....

[Frogs Hair]

Monitor and a web cam so they could record the alleged burning of said buffalo chips , so it would no longer be alleged and be recorded as a factual event. As evidence of ...

[pricetech]

Nothing much really, except that.....

[Frogs Hair]

They could do it and nobody cared when the video was finished despite good editing . Oh, well , the next day brought...

[pricetech]

rain and a little wind, but no "storms" as it were. However ......

[pricetech]

a giant asteroid landed in Tux's swimming pool, creating ......

[fatal_ERROR777]

A black hole of doom, where Chuck Norris and other folks...

[IWantFroyo]

...went swimming, although only Chuck Norris...

[fatal_ERROR777]

Didn't because he had...

[IWantFroyo]

...too much awesomeness, so...

[fatal_ERROR777]

he has decided to

[LinuxFan999]

Eat himself, and...

[lolpenguin]

typehaltinto tty1

[LinuxFan999]

Then, he ate himself, but...

[lolpenguin]

...the computer did not halt because carriage return was not pressed...

[LinuxFan999]

...and someone else pressed enter, then...

[lolpenguin]

...nothing happened because the keyboard was disconnected from the computer...

[LinuxFan999]

Then someone reconnected the keyboard, pressed enter, and then...

[IWantFroyo]

he was eaten by a ravenous cake...

[LinuxFan999]

...which also ate a christmas tree and...

[IWantFroyo]

also was eaten by yet another ravenous cake...

[LinuxFan999]

...which was crushed by a giant rock, then...

[lolpenguin]

...then yet another ravenous cake appeared...

[CompyTheInsane]

and said "I am a lie".

[cgroza]

and said "I am a lie".
Then added "Yes, I am a lie, nothing but a lie!"

[LinuxFan999]

...then was eaten by a giant mutated lion, but...

[lolpenguin]

the giant mutated lion was so mutated

[LinuxFan999]

..that it, and everything it ate, exploded, then...

[Basher101]

...and another singularity was created...

[lolpenguin]

...which was instantly destroyed due to...

[LinuxFan999]

...the work of a man named...