Ubuntu Satanic Edition Facts

[izanbardprince]

Ubuntu Satanic Edition is pioneering 666-bit computing.

Ubuntu Satanic Edition scares Chuck Norris.

Ubuntu Satanic Edition 7.04 could be called "Feisty Spawn".

If an application freezes in Ubuntu Satanic Edition, you don't just kill it, you crucify it, upside down.

Ubuntu Satanic Edition is proud to introduce Runlevel 6 and 7.

In Ubuntu Satanic Edition, you browse the web with Fox.

In Ubuntu Satanic Edition, users are foced to wait for Open Office to start up....for all eternity.

[Anthem]

To be honest, the fact that they made a "Satanic Edition" of a Linux distribution offends me more than any of these jokes.





:D Sorry, couldn't resist.

[PatrickMay16]

To be honest, the fact that they made a "Satanic Edition" of a Linux distribution offends me more than any of these jokes.





:D Sorry, couldn't resist.

Hahah, you rock.

[jinx099]

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals that weren't redirected to /dev/null by Ubuntu Satanic Edition.

[IYY]

Ubuntu Satanic Edition was once a version of Ubuntu Christian Edition, but has rebelled against God and has been piped to /dev/null.

Ubuntu Satanic Edition does not include the cat command, as it has been callously sacrificed to the devil.

All files in Ubuntu Satanic Edition have the permissions 666.

Ubuntu Satanic Edition replaces Tux with the BSD daemon.

The developers of Ubuntu Satanic Edition are trying to get proprietary Apple code into the kernel, tarnishing its GPL nature and casting it out of the GNU community.

Ubuntu Satanic Edition was not actually created by any programmer; it has evolved from older versions of Ubuntu.

[spockrock]

hahahhahahahha...... :lolflag:

[openix]

Isn't Ubuntu Satanic Edition the Microsoft IP Patented Linux distro?

[macogw]

To be honest, the fact that they made a "Satanic Edition" of a Linux distribution offends me more than any of these jokes.





:D Sorry, couldn't resist.
Satanic Edition is just a theme for Ubuntu, isn't it? I heard there's one "edition" whose whole thing is "look! a blue background by default instead of brown!"

[hizaguchi]

Ubuntu Satanic Edition installs a firewall by default. You cannot disable it.

Ubuntu Satanic Edition uses the Vi text editor for all configuration, word processing, desktop publishing, photo manipulation, and instant messaging.

Ubuntu Satanic Edition integrates advanced CD, DVD, and human sacrifice burning technology. You may notice an unpleasant odor and slight discoloration of your office walls. This is normal.

Ubuntu Satanic Edition provides improved printing support. The HP BloodJet 666 document and contract printer is installed by default and will print a test page during installation. There is no need to read this page... simply sign it in your own blood and then burn it. We'll take care of the rest.

Ubuntu Satanic Edition features a new system sound scheme with screaming, moaning, gnashing of teeth, and Celine Dion.

[EdThaSlayer]

Ubuntu Satanic edition. Funny name though, "Feisty Spawn", very creative.

[biggles7268]

Ubuntu Satanic Edition features a new system sound scheme with screaming, moaning, gnashing of teeth, and Celine Dion.

LOL

[WakkiTabakki]

..., and Celine Dion.:lolflag:

Hell just lost its appeal...

[rai4shu2]

The home page defaults to Fark.com

/not really
//even Fark is too evil for Ubuntu Satanic Edition

[izanbardprince]

Ubuntu Satanic Edition's catch phrase is "Linux for the damned".

[izanbardprince]

In Ubuntu Satanic Edition, the init daemon has been named Saddam.

[hardyn]

the desktop trash will be renamed to 'hell'

'move to trash' and 'rm' will be replaced with 'damn to hell' and 'damn' respectivly
items may no longer be removed from 'hell' and must stay there for all enterity

a bug in SE current exists where the high temperature and flames often experienced with SE have been causing the kernel to spontainously 'pop' there is no work-around for the 'popping kernel' at this time, but a kernel patch nicknamed 'butter' is in the works.

Nvidia and ATI are teaming up for a fire and brimsone PCIE expansion card (and later a PCMCIA card for the notebook market) to be aimed at the SE purests that require periodic flames and sulphur oder for the full experience, propane and sulpher not included.

[justin whitaker]

In Ubuntu Satanic Edition:

1. The boot up sound is the troll "I eat babies" quote from WoW.
2. Synaptic recommends you install "fava beans and a nice chianti" as a dependency.
3. The default file manager is Doom III.
4. USE tries to open all files backwards.
5. And in WINE.
6. Each terminal command receives an audible response of "as you command dread lord."
7. It uses the Collected Works of Crowley as the help file.

I'm running out of steam since you guys took all the good ones. :)

[izanbardprince]

the desktop trash will be renamed to 'hell'

'move to trash' and 'rm' will be replaced with 'damn to hell' and 'damn' respectivly
items may no longer be removed from 'hell' and must stay there for all enterity

a bug in SE current exists where the high temperature and flames often experienced with SE have been causing the kernel to spontainously 'pop' there is no work-around for the 'popping kernel' at this time, but a kernel patch nicknamed 'butter' is in the works.

Nvidia and ATI are teaming up for a fire and brimsone PCIE expansion card (and later a PCMCIA card for the notebook market) to be aimed at the SE purests that require periodic flames and sulphur oder for the full experience, propane and sulpher not included.

But you have to figure out how to get the drivers yourself, because they're not open source.

[hardyn]

Nvidia and ATI are teaming up for a fire and brimsone PCIE expansion card (and later a PCMCIA card for the notebook market) to be aimed at the SE purests that require periodic flames and sulphur oder for the full experience, propane and sulpher not included.



But you have to figure out how to get the drivers yourself, because they're not open source.


the drivers were written eons ago in binary, and have been reverse engineered and ported many times by many different developers, each developer making mistakes and adding thier own agendas and ideologies along the way. the drivers now exist in many versions, the drivers are no longer compatible and often cause conflicts if two or more drivers begin to compete for resourses. each developer insists that their driver is the correct driver and the way that ATI and Nvidia (the creators of the card) intended; all the drivers that currently remain are closed source and no longer in development.

[hardyn]

(im having way to much fun with this ;) )

the error message 'kernel panic' will be replaced with the new message 'apocalypse'

the SE EULA has been inspired by a software company in redmond and now contains an additional clause, make sure you read the fine print before accepting.

you may never uninstall SE, only upgrade; should the removal of SE be required it will require the assistance of SE removal specialists; one young and one old priest.

[parker13]

We'll work from dusk 'till dawn to incorporate as many of these suggestions as we can into the Fiery Spawn release.

[hizaguchi]

http://www.ubuntuforums.org/customavatars/avatar83389_2.gif

LOL

[C-A]

Satanic Edition user files have fallen from /home/ and have been condemned to /hell/.

[rolando2424]

6. Each terminal command receives an audible response of "as you command dread lord."


You know what?

That would rock :D

or just some Dark Side of the Force... :D

[tjtansey]

After much research and prayer, the Vatican reveals that the author for SE is none other than...

[izanbardprince]

(im having way to much fun with this ;) )

the error message 'kernel panic' will be replaced with the new message 'apocalypse'

the SE EULA has been inspired by a software company in redmond and now contains an additional clause, make sure you read the fine print before accepting.

you may never uninstall SE, only upgrade; should the removal of SE be required it will require the assistance of SE removal specialists; one young and one old priest.

YOUR MOTHER COMPILES BSD KERNELS IN HELL!!!

[izanbardprince]

Ubuntu Satanic Edition is proud to introduce /dev/pitchfork

[muguwmp67]

Beelzebuntu entertainment features include official support for today's most popular interrogation driods (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Interrogation_droid).

[hardyn]

SE will introduce a new remote desktop technical support system: you must draw an inverted pentagram on your floor and place your computer in the centre. our experienced support agents (or linux demons, as we like to call them) will automatically be granted access to your system to assist you.

(im running out of ideas ;) )

[fdrake]

SE will introduce a new remote desktop technical support system: you must draw an inverted pentagram on your floor and place your computer in the centre. our experienced support agents (or linux demons, as we like to call them) will automatically be granted access to your system to assist you.

(im running out of ideas ;) )

:lolflag:

[tjtansey]

You'll know the demons are accessing your system when it levitates, revolves in a 360 and it says "utnubu mai"

[angryfirelord]

SE uses the the new powerlessd daemon, meaning that it overclocks your cpu when the computer is idle & underclocks it when the system is doing work. It even applies to you gpu as well!

SE uses RPMs instead of debs. :twisted: ...with no yum installed!!!!

[bebop_tango]

SE uses RPMs instead of debs. :twisted: ...with no yum installed!!!!

In Ubuntu SE there's no apt-get, aptitude, synaptic and the like... you'll have to compile everything from source... and it doesn't come with gcc, make, and nasm installed by default.

:twisted:

[mondi0924]

In Ubuntu SE, Once you login , you are actually opening up a gateway into hell , where logging into your system is synonymous to signing a contract to sell your soul to satan for the mere purpose of having a cool looking theme.

[rai4shu2]

After some serious thought I came up with a better default home page:

The Daily Rotten http://www.rotten.com/news/

Some other prominent links:

http://www.somethingawful.com/
http://www.deadbaby.com/
http://www.piracy.com/
http://www.chrisbishop.com/her/
http://cuteoverload.com/

[izanbardprince]

Ubuntu Satanic Edition for X86-64 ships with 32-bit media players, no 32-bit sound compatibility layer, AND a 64-bit web browser. ](*,)

[rolando2424]

Ubuntu Satanic Edition only possible homepage is http://www.youaredamned.com/

And when you open that homepage, your name is automatically added to the wall...

And I'm starting to run out of ideas...

[liviubero]

Hey,
What the HELL is this thing with the satanic edition?
Is it just a theme or what?
I mean, I can imagine a lot of people thinking that Ubuntu has to do with satanism and such. "Yeah, that OS the satanists made for themselves and for Satan". It is hilarious. I just installed Ubuntu for a friend of mine and tomorrow he will ask me what is the relationship between me and the Church of Satan, if I don't really have a red membership card.
DAMNED! Now I have to explain that I don't have anything to do with the devil worship.

[hardyn]

yes, its a theme pack... and a lot of fun...
there have been many many many many many many many threads about satan edition, and christian edition... both are here to stay, the topic has been beat to death.

it has nothing to do with satanism, devil worship, the occult, the church... its just in good humor; and it appears that a few people on this forum have a good sence of humor, light hearted stuff like this makes things more interesting... keep it up.

[hardyn]

Updates and information for SE will no longer be provided over the internet, and now will be provided though your neighbours dog.

[spockrock]

acctually I am implementing that now, its a little tricky but

satan neighborsdog -f install

[angryfirelord]

Ubuntu Satanic Edition is....Windows Vista with a DOS base. :twisted:

Now there's some hell for you!

[happy-and-lost]

Ubuntu Satanic Edition uses the Vi text editor for all configuration, word processing, desktop publishing, photo manipulation, and instant messaging.


NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

[MadTheologian]

Ubuntu SE's Live CD will spin backwards in order in your CD/DVD Drive.

The EULA will demand your soul.

It will block all your favorite clean joke sites and replace it with URLs to unsavory sites.

[parker13]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

Actually, that's not too far from the truth. In my opinion vi is about the best piece of software ever written. It pains me to use anything else.

[Ripfox]

Funny, my regular ubuntu must have a dark side, because I swear it transforms into SE whenever I try to get a mmorpg working under wine...

[orb9220]

Merged all the quotes into a text file. For sharing with others for a few laughs.

[sling-shot]

Ubuntu Satanic Edition features a new system sound scheme with screaming, moaning, gnashing of teeth, and Celine Dion.

Celine Dion! Perfect.
-SS.

[jgrabham]

Sadam Huisain and Satan with the pink sofa - sorry - was watching south park BLAC this morning

[KrotBot]

Ubuntu SE will delete your media library and replace it with the complete works of Cradle of Filth and Deicide

[n3tfury]

Ubuntu SE will delete your media library and replace it with the complete works of Cradle of Filth and Deicide

sounds good.

[LaRoza]

I use Ubuntu SE (some of it, anyway). It is just a collection of themes/screensavers/sound.

Nothing worth complaining about. There are millions of themes.

For real Black Metal, try Darkthrone, Emperor, Immortal, Burzum and Mayhem (with Per Ohlin).

[Acglaphotis]

Celine Dion! Perfect.
-SS.

HAVE YOU NO SOUL?!

[-grubby]

HAVE YOU NO SOUL?!

(even though I didn't post it) muhuhhahaahuhuhmuhhuha:evil::evil::evil::evil:

[50words]

Clicked into this thread while watching Jesus Camp. I feel a little better knowing that I can do my part to counteract crazy evangelism by using a satanic computer.

[n3tfury]

5

[koleoptero]

Ubuntu SE will delete your media library and replace it with the complete works of Cradle of Filth and Deicide

Don't forget exhumed.:mrgreen:

[KIAaze]

Funny thread. ^^


6. Each terminal command receives an audible response of "as you command dread lord."


Any idea of how I could make this joke actual reality without having to recompile a terminal application? :)
I already have starcraft tank sounds on lid open/close.
This is just one step further. 8)

[bapoumba]

Off topic discussion moved there: http://ubuntuforums.org/showthread.php?p=3788073

[KrotBot]

Don't forget exhumed.:mrgreen:

Throw some Corporation 187 and Send More Paramedics in for a thrash edge :guitar:

[KIAaze]

6. Each terminal command receives an audible response of "as you command dread lord."


Ok, I did it. :D
If you want to play sounds in your terminal when running any command (or just pressing enter), do the following:

Open ~/.bashrc.
Search for a string looking like "PS1=<some string>".
Add "\$(playsound)" at the beginning of the string.
It should then look like this for example:

PS1="\$(playsound)\e[0;1;33;41m[\u@\h:\w]\$ \e[m "


Then before that (at the beginning of the file), add:
playsound()
{
mplayer somefile.wav 1>/dev/null 2>&1 &
}


Note the "&" at the end of the mplayer command to avoid having to wait for the end of the soundfile playing.
It also makes spamming possible when pressing enter several times. :D

example:"NuNuNuclear lalalaunch detectededed." :lolflag:

Some documentation:
http://www.linuxselfhelp.com/howtos/Bash-Prompt/Bash-Prompt-HOWTO-2.html#setps
http://tldp.org/HOWTO/Bash-Prompt-HOWTO/x279.html

[klange]

In Ubuntu SE, all flame related Compiz Fusion plugins are enabled by default, and "Paint Fire on Screen" is activated without pressing a button (which has the oh-so-unfortunate side effect of forcing you to press Shift+Super+C every few seconds to erase the flames)


@the above poster:
I am so totally doing that. Just need to find a good sound to play... EDIT: Hmm, how about Vader saying "Yes master?" from the end of Ep. 3? That's appropriate and short... Gotta find a good recording though...

[popch]

In Ubuntu SE, all flame related Compiz Fusion plugins are enabled by default

Flaming enabled by default ?

Now this is really devilish. Does it not get you banned from fora quite often?

[Wraith's Hand]

Well this is not so much of a fact than a rumor that I heard. Something about the developers of Ubuntu Satanic Edition are having a bit of a fight and so one of them has been heard talking about breaking off and creating Ubuntu Set Edition.

[yabbadabbadont]

I am so totally doing that. Just need to find a good sound to play...

Somewhere on an old floppy, I have a recording of an Irish sounding man saying, "I've got a ferret in me trousers." Several years ago, I added it as the default startup sound on a buddy's Win95 machine. (shows how many years ago it was ;))

[thx11381974]

Somewhere on an old floppy, I have a recording of an Irish sounding man saying, "I've got a ferret in me trousers." Several years ago, I added it as the default startup sound on a buddy's Win95 machine. (shows how many years ago it was ;))

Hey I see your avatar is from Dead Like ME, I just came across some info on the net that theres going be a Dead Like ME move coming out in the summer.
I know I'm hijacking, but thought you'd like to know

[yabbadabbadont]

Hey I see your avatar is from Dead Like ME, I just came across some info on the net that theres going be a Dead Like ME move coming out in the summer.
I know I'm hijacking, but thought you'd like to know

Thanks, I already knew that. Mandy Patinkin (Rube) won't be in it, and they have someone other than Laura Harris playing Daisy. It looks like they got everyone else back for it though. The IMDB entry seems to indicate that it will be a direct to video release.

[justsomedude]

In Ubuntu SE there's no apt-get, aptitude, synaptic and the like... you'll have to compile everything from source... and it doesn't come with gcc, make, and nasm installed by default.

:twisted:

So, Ubuntu SE is based on Gentoo? :confused:

[yabbadabbadont]

So, Ubuntu SE is based on Gentoo? :confused:

No, Gentoo was based on it. (Gentoo added the compiler tool-chain to the default installation ;))

[Casual Fan]

Ubuntu SE--you don't have to use it, but you're damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

[popch]

Eh - did anyone notice that Satan is a permutation of Santa?

[nerdman978]

Ubuntu Satanic edition releases its new logo!
http://employees.oneonta.edu/sakoult/graphicdesign/assignments/logo/images/windows.jpg

[n3tfury]

Ubuntu Satanic edition releases its new logo!
http://employees.oneonta.edu/sakoult/graphicdesign/assignments/logo/images/windows.jpg

:| <-

[Spike-X]

Eh - did anyone notice that Satan is a permutation of Santa?
No, I don't think anybody has ever pointed that out before.

Ever.

[K.Mandla]

Moved to Other OS Talk ... since it's a discussion of an Ubuntu derivative.

[Udibuntu]

Is Ubuntu SE what you get if you install the LiveCD backwards?

What do you get if you install Vista backwards? Something that is actually worth something?
:KS
Udi


P.S - Celine Dion? man, I just ate...

[Jay_Bee]

Ubuntu SE replaces "sudo" commmand with "satan"

[parker13]

We tried putting the following command in the install script:

sudo chmod -R 666 /

...it was cool, but it rendered the system a little insecure and kind of unusable.

PS: don't try this at home, kids.

[Wiebelhaus]

Ubuntu SE replaces "sudo" commmand with "satan"

LOL that's cool! I love it.

[KIAaze]

We tried putting the following command in the install script:

sudo chmod -R 666 /

...it was cool, but it rendered the system a little insecure and kind of unusable.

PS: don't try this at home, kids.

In that case, Ubuntu CE is better:
god chmod -R 777 / :mrgreen:
(god=sudo)

James Bond on the other hand is useless when it comes to keeping his MI6 profile secret:
sudo chmod -R 007 /
:lolflag:

[parker13]

In that case, Ubuntu CE is better:
god chmod -R 777 / :mrgreen:
(god=sudo)

James Bond on the other hand is useless when it comes to keeping his MI6 profile secret:
sudo chmod -R 007
:lolflag:

Actually, I just tried it for a laugh and it really does trash your system pretty badly:

$ sudo chmod -R 666 /
$ ls /
-bash: /bin/ls: Permission denied


I kind of knew it would.

[Mithrilhall]

Satanic edition...seriously...I'm downloading it now. \\:D/

[Wiebelhaus]

Satanic edition...seriously...I'm downloading it now. \\:D/

I Love it , I think it's fantastic and with most of my experiences with Satanist being classy and respectful they have linked other religious distro's in the link section , that's top notch.

[Microsoft_Sam]

in Ubuntu SE rm is replaced with sacrifice.

Ubuntu SE will touch yoursoul
then sacrifice yoursoul
...twice.

[Shrooms]

lol :mrgreen:

[hellion0]

Contrary to popular belief, you CAN run Ubuntu SE and Ubuntu CE on the same LAN... just don't expect them to get along. Either your SE machine will be banished back to the depths of Hell, or your CE machine will become possessed.

Whichever occurs is based on what's under the hood of each machine. The stronger one will survive.

[Chayak]

(im having way to much fun with this ;) )

you may never uninstall SE, only upgrade; should the removal of SE be required it will require the assistance of SE removal specialists; one young and one old priest.

Woah, I thought that was only necessary when confronted with Windows ME....

[Udibuntu]

Anybody said Sin-aptic?

[garnetrook]

I can't figure out why my 3D rendering is so bad

glxgears
returns
3333.33 frames in 5.0 seconds = 666.666 FPS

I'm pretty sure I have the latest slave drivers. SE Mint came with Gluttony to autodeject them.

[ippokratis]

Ubuntu Satanic edition releases its new logo!
http://employees.oneonta.edu/sakoult/graphicdesign/assignments/logo/images/windows.jpg

Oh my God! That's the most satanic thing of all!:lolflag:

[subs]

wow.... i didn know this existed!!!

[Presto123]

Clicking on the "Gates of Hell" icon results in your computer displaying, "Desktop Explorer Encountered a Serious Error. System Will Shut Down in: 3..." shuts down your computer, and overwrites your grub file with the blue screen of death.

Microsoft service will then call 666 times.

[stephenbrazier]

I thought there was a OS already based for the Devil :confused:

Windows?

Are they just copying Microsoft? :lolflag:

[parker13]

I thought there was a OS already based for the Devil :confused:

Windows?

Are they just copying Microsoft? :lolflag:

Don't confuse "bad" with "evil". We're the real deal!

[notwen]

We tried putting the following command in the install script:

sudo chmod -R 666 /

...it was cool, but it rendered the system a little insecure and kind of unusable.

PS: don't try this at home, kids.

Lol, too funny.

[LinuxGuy1234]

bash now be called The Spike and will use all of your memory.

The "File not found" message is being replaced with "May the Tux not be found, let BSD daemons rule your world".

SE will integrate Windows Vista and Firefox will be "BSD Land". There is no way to revert to "only Linux".

In SE, everything is in black and white. There is no way to change that.

The kernel will take up 1,000TB. It'll not change.