Who can make the worst personal ad?

[NoTiG]

Just saw this (http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_100/143_dating_advice_a.html)
article on advertising advice... for making personal ads to get dates, and i thought it would be more fun to see who could write the worst ad. so here is mine:

23 yr old mail looking for a real women

Hmmmm.who?whoa!what?? *yawns* (just woke up) . hmm. where the hell am i? oh yea matchmaker. WHy am i here???? oh ... I was just lookin to see if any other fellow narcoleptics wanted to go for a drive this sunday at 9. Lata gata.

[Stormy Eyes]

26 year old married male seeks single female

I'm a heartless prick who wants to cheat on his wife. I'm rude, hate children, kick small dogs when they yap at me, drive a piece-of-**** car that I won't get rid of for a better one because I am a f---ing miser. I commit tax evasion on a regular basis, am cruel to children and the elderly, and I'm a lousy lay to boot. I also scratch my fat *** in public.

[NoTiG]

26 year old married male seeks single female

I'm a heartless prick who wants to cheat on his wife. I'm rude, hate children, kick small dogs when they yap at me, drive a piece-of-**** car that I won't get rid of for a better one because I am a f---ing miser. I commit tax evasion on a regular basis, am cruel to children and the elderly, and I'm a lousy lay to boot. I also scratch my fat *** in public.

eep!. pretty good.. but ultimately.. i dont think it takes the crown as the worst. why? because you are way too HONEST . that would make the ladies swarm.... they love honesty.

[Stormy Eyes]

eep!. pretty good.. but ultimately.. i dont think it takes the crown as the worst. why? because you are way too HONEST . that would make the ladies swarm.... they love honesty.

I was only honest about hating children and being a rude, heartless prick. Everything else is a lie, especially the part about wanting to cheat on my wife.

[Kimm]

19 year old guy seeks single woman, real life or otherwise

Hi there, so you came buy my ad did ya?
Well, what is there to say about me realy? well... I like to spend time by the computer... around 6-7 hours a day probably, I'm a programmer and thats what I spend most of my time doing, programming that is. I'm currently running Linux on my computer, yup, thats right Linux! L I N U X, can you believe it? I just got so annoyed by windows so I abandoned it forever :D
Oh, while your here, please take a secund to read about software patents and when the time comes, vote against them!!

Well, I supose that practicly summs me up, try not to send me to many mails now, dont wana swarm to mail box do ya? ;)

- Kimmerminator out

[Lovechild]

24 year old sorta male seeking single girls in the ages 9-14 for raunchy sex and imtimate pictures - likes bondage, watersports and nihilism.

[Stormy Eyes]

24 year old sorta male seeking single girls in the ages 9-14 for raunchy sex and imtimate pictures - likes bondage, watersports and nihilism.

Is it legal to joke about that sort of thing in Denmark? If I did that, I'd be on an FBI watch list. Then again, I might already be on one.

[Lovechild]

Is it legal to joke about that sort of thing in Denmark? If I did that, I'd be on an FBI watch list. Then again, I might already be on one.

Can't be worse than my "I swear your honor I had no idea she was only 3" t-shirt, which incidently was bought from an american website.. so I'm guessing they already know who I am.

[wbeck85]

Can't be worse than my "I swear your honor I had no idea she was only 3" t-shirt, which incidently was bought from an american website.. so I'm guessing they already know who I am.
So you mean, you have a history of this behaviour? Icky.....

[Nick Post]

35 yr old Male seeks 22-25 yr old female nympho gourmet cook
Valid drivers licence and car required. Must realize I'm the boss/enjoy yardwork.
No kids. Attractive kinky girlfriends a plus. No fat chicks.

[totalshredder]

Hunter seeking woman( to be wife. Must be skilled in cleaning, gutting, cooking what I catch. I only want a girl who looks like jessica simpson, even then I still must have permission to do whatever I want when I go out with my friends. No homemakers, I want another source of money here, nighttime hours when I'm home are prefered working hours.

[cdhotfire]

24 year old sorta male seeking single girls in the ages 9-14 for raunchy sex and imtimate pictures - likes bondage, watersports and nihilism.

your my hero.:)

[az]

34-year-old moderator considering locking this thread for it's lack of tact excessively offensive content.


Actually, there is no point here. This can only alienate or offend people.

[jdong]

34-year-old moderator considering locking this thread for it's lack of tact excessively offensive content.


Actually, there is no point here. This can only alienate or offend people.

Same goes here, except a 17-year-old moderator this time :)