PDA

View Full Version : *Business Buzz Words!*



rk0r
June 9th, 2012, 01:30 PM
The Business Buzz Word!

What is the most idiotic buzz word you have heard.. ill give you a couple that have drawn blank faces in a meeting.

* Low Hanging Fruit *

* Blue Sky Thinking*

BeRoot ReBoot
June 9th, 2012, 02:26 PM
Enterprise cloud collaborative BYOD iterative telepresence solution management over IP!

forrestcupp
June 9th, 2012, 02:34 PM
paradigm

"The glass is twice as big as it needs to be"

rk0r
June 9th, 2012, 02:57 PM
* fiscal responsibility


* visioneering


=-=wtf=-=

kvvv
June 9th, 2012, 04:51 PM
In reality though, this is what happens :) :

"you're a moron, steve"

"eff that, i quit"

"why the f*** is this not working"

ExSuSEusr
June 9th, 2012, 04:57 PM
I guess that's why I'm working at Initech.

tenthirtyone
June 9th, 2012, 06:37 PM
I guess that's why I'm working at Initech.

Better than working for Penetrode...

YourSurrogateGod
June 9th, 2012, 07:48 PM
* fiscal responsibility

This one makes sense, it's just that it requires discipline and people just don't want to be bothered with that :) .

Henkdroid
June 9th, 2012, 10:36 PM
synergise!

Old_Grey_Wolf
June 10th, 2012, 12:06 AM
My list, although not complete:


Actionable, that tells me that management can't figure out how to fix a problem.
Incentivize, I've read psychology; so, I know about Pavlov's Dog.
Outside The Box, anyone that says that is "in-the-box".
Proactive, that tells me that Management can't predict the future so they blame the workers.
Repurpose, Yeah, I'm being repurposed so they can get their bonus.


:lolflag:

JDShu
June 10th, 2012, 12:50 AM
Leveraging Convergance

earthpigg
June 10th, 2012, 03:35 AM
Sustainable.

Face-Ache
June 10th, 2012, 07:25 AM
"moving forward" - so sick of hearing 'suits' saying that in meetings.

"restructuring/retrenching" - i.e, firing people.

wilee-nilee
June 10th, 2012, 07:28 AM
You want that super sized.

:lolflag:

Megaptera
June 10th, 2012, 07:38 AM
"On message" - I hate that and all business buzz words.
One of my now retired colleagues came out with "a negative disincentive".

rk0r
June 10th, 2012, 05:23 PM
cultivate one-to-one relationships

insane_alien
June 10th, 2012, 05:27 PM
"we are where we are" no, really? i thought we were over there!

90% of corporate-speak just seems to be to increase word count. this isn't an essay for english class, conciseness is a virtue here.

Dave_L
June 10th, 2012, 05:42 PM
"communication"

kevdog
June 11th, 2012, 04:50 AM
My list, although not complete:


Actionable, that tells me that management can't figure out how to fix a problem.
Incentivize, I've read psychology; so, I know about Pavlov's Dog.
Outside The Box, anyone that says that is "in-the-box".
Proactive, that tells me that Management can't predict the future so they blame the workers.
Repurpose, Yeah, I'm being repurposed so they can get their bonus.


:lolflag:


Tell us how you really feel!! Those are some bitter feelings!

rk0r
June 12th, 2012, 02:28 PM
Stir fry this in your mind wok!.

Evil-Ernie
June 12th, 2012, 04:22 PM
I hate acronyms at my place of work more than the buzzwords, converstations just turn into the spouting of letters BKM, POR, ROI, SKU, SME, RCO, EIT, SLA, CPM blah blah blah to name but a few.

One that bugs me though is 'Organic', like "the BKM needs to be more organic in our approach to OLR" I mean what the heck is that supposed to mean!

drawkcab
June 12th, 2012, 04:55 PM
"rainmaker" LOL

Some obnoxious folks at the coffee shop here just spent 20 minutes talking about "client-side quality initiatives." Am I safe if I translate that as, "some things that we can do to so that it doesn't suck so much to be our customers?"

Megaptera
June 12th, 2012, 08:49 PM
"This is no time to bite the bullet with our deconstructed relative consulting."

"Our organisation believes in three-dimensional strategic flexibility."

eddier
June 12th, 2012, 08:58 PM
Do people use words and phrases as described in 'aformentioned' posts just to puff up thier feathers and impress listeners or is quite simply 'jargon' to baffle potential eavesdroppers?

It certainly doesnt impress me-I cant stand 'superior' beings!

eddie

Face-Ache
June 13th, 2012, 12:19 AM
Yep, rubbish, meaningless corporate-speak that 'suits' use to sound more intelligent.

Old_Grey_Wolf
June 13th, 2012, 12:57 AM
Tell us how you really feel!! Those are some bitter feelings!

Actually my statements aren't bitter at all.

I happen to be one of those engineering managers (suits as some posters call us) that has to sit in meetings most of my work day and listen to all the Buzz Words that are uttered to the point of nausea.

I'm still technically knowledgeable enough to know about the use of many of the Buss Words
Some managers adopt Buzz Words; because, they sound good, and impress others. Yet they don't always understand what the Buzz Words actually mean.
Buzz Words prevent other managers from asking question because they don't understand what the person actually said, and the other managers don't want to admit their ignorance of the subject .
Buzz Words don't actually add value to managing a project.


:lolflag:

ExSuSEusr
June 13th, 2012, 04:30 AM
Better than working for Penetrode...

Yeah.... I'm going to have to ask you to come in on Saturday...

Megaptera
June 13th, 2012, 06:03 AM
Some managers adopt Buzz Words; because, they sound good, and impress others. Yet they don't always understand what the Buzz Words actually mean.
Buzz Words prevent other managers from asking question because they don't understand what the person actually said, and the other managers don't want to admit their ignorance of the subject .
Buzz Words don't actually add value to managing a project.


:lolflag:

Too right!!
:)

spynappels
June 13th, 2012, 09:22 AM
Some managers adopt Buzz Words; because, they sound good, and impress others. Yet they don't always understand what the Buzz Words actually mean.
Buzz Words prevent other managers from asking question because they don't understand what the person actually said, and the other managers don't want to admit their ignorance of the subject .


In this vein, my most hated word, when used as a buzz word, is cloud.

This has got to be the most misunderstood and misused word in IT at the moment IMHO.

Merk42
June 13th, 2012, 04:06 PM
HTML5

Also Facebook Likes, but I think that's more akin to snake oil (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Snake_oil) than a buzzword

mips
June 13th, 2012, 06:12 PM
Perception management - Hey we are actually not meeting our contractual obligations but if you look at it from this angle we are actually providing you with a super service!

Customer relationship management (CRM) - So we screwed up on the above, wanna go play golf and I'll feed you with tequila & beers, make out like I'm a real mate and we end up at a strip joint.

Lateral thinking - Let's go to the pub and think this over some beers.

wilee-nilee
June 13th, 2012, 06:30 PM
Buzz words are for speaking to the masses, it is quite apparent in an area we are not really allowed to discuss in the forums for good reasons, starts with a letter between o & q, lol.

If the public was better trained to critically think, and in recognizing confirmation bias, we would probably be better off in general.

Megaptera
June 13th, 2012, 08:47 PM
... starts with a letter between o & q, lol....

Now I've got to wade through this lot! http://www.wordbyletter.com/words_starting_with.php?q=p so this just comes down to knowledge-based monitored innovation. :lolflag:

Warpnow
June 14th, 2012, 05:31 AM
Half these "buzz words" are, I think, just phrases and concepts the person who classified them as such didn't understand, so thinks they are BS.

Alot of them express very specific concepts.

Low Hanging Fruit- Pursue the opportunities which consume the least resources first, minimizing cost. Supply side economics.

Fiscal Responsibility- You can't take risks with money that isn't yours. You may be a pioneer, ect, but if you work for a publicly traded company, you can't take risks the stockholders wouldn't approve of.

Incentivize- complex systems are often out of the designer's complete control. if you rely on self-interest and make it so the decision you want them to make is also the one that makes them most money, most attention, ect, you don't have to constantly monitor the system.

Organic- Usually I've heard it use to describe naturally developed processes. Let things go on their natural course, and don't intervene.

I'd go on but I'm lazy. I really don't think most listed in this thread are actually "Buzz" words, though I admit some people use them who don't know they mean. Doesn't mean they don't have meaning.

rk0r
June 14th, 2012, 01:29 PM
Half these "buzz words" are, I think, just phrases and concepts the person who classified them as such didn't understand, so thinks they are BS.

Alot of them express very specific concepts.

Low Hanging Fruit- Pursue the opportunities which consume the least resources first, minimizing cost. Supply side economics.

Fiscal Responsibility- You can't take risks with money that isn't yours. You may be a pioneer, ect, but if you work for a publicly traded company, you can't take risks the stockholders wouldn't approve of.

Incentivize- complex systems are often out of the designer's complete control. if you rely on self-interest and make it so the decision you want them to make is also the one that makes them most money, most attention, ect, you don't have to constantly monitor the system.

Organic- Usually I've heard it use to describe naturally developed processes. Let things go on their natural course, and don't intervene.

I'd go on but I'm lazy. I really don't think most listed in this thread are actually "Buzz" words, though I admit some people use them who don't know they mean. Doesn't mean they don't have meaning.

Obviously they have a meaning, i donít think for one second people who post these " buzz words" are searching for a elaborate description ( or donít understand what they mean )

Its just amusing when buzz words are used in a meeting.

forrestcupp
June 14th, 2012, 01:34 PM
Half these "buzz words" are, I think, just phrases and concepts the person who classified them as such didn't understand, so thinks they are BS.

...

I'd go on but I'm lazy. I really don't think most listed in this thread are actually "Buzz" words, though I admit some people use them who don't know they mean. Doesn't mean they don't have meaning.
We know they have meaning, we know what they mean, and we still think they're BS. :D

ratcheer
June 14th, 2012, 01:53 PM
I have not perused this entire thread, and there are a lot of "business buzz words" that make me cringe, but the one that is worst to me is the use of the word "architect" as a verb. E.g., "This system was architected to ...". It makes me want to jump up and scream, "Idiot! Designed, not architected!"

Runner up is, "at the end of the day".

Tim