The Ubuntu Conspiracy

[pizza-is-good]

For those of you that think that everything is a conspiracy, and for those that think its funny that there is people that think everything is a conspiracy, lets have some fun.

But before that, a little disclaimer: I have no inside knowledge that would even hint to any of the 'facts' mentioned below being true or in any way accurate. This is all made up, and please don't take any information from this thread as accurate or truthful. I, the OP, am not whatsoever responsible for you misusing or believing any of this thread's contents.

OK, here we go.

Situation:

The Ubuntu project is a conspiracy set up microsoft an effort to ruin the reputation of Linux. Embedded in the Ubuntu code are lines that will destroy your system when microsoft 'activates' them. Microsoft will do this as soon as Ubuntu reaches a high enough market share, so that users will become afraid and go back to buying windows, therefore boosting their revenue and ruining the reputation of Linux.

The conspiracy runs deep. Is the Ubuntu developer team part of it? What about those forum users that play dumb and keep us all busy trying to fix their problems? Have you ever read all the code for Ubuntu? Does Mark Shuttleworth secretly work for microsoft?

The game:

Come up with more about this conspiracy. Everything that you can think of (lets make it interesting), as long as it complies with forum rules.


For those that will believe this thread: lets see how far we can add to the conspiracy before microsoft finds out about it and mysteriously deletes the thread....

[megamanexent]

Haha, thats good, don't know if i can come close, but here we go:

For multi-boot system that includes a Windows OS, The Ubuntu code is designed to throw random hardware glitches due to the Windows OS presence. Even though they're easy to fix, there sole purpose is to keep you questioning about the reliability of Linux. For a random group per fiscal quarter, Microsoft deploys "Operation HardDrive" or OHDD in which when a user boot the Windows OS, CHDSK complains of corrupt files, thereby perplexing the user to dump Linux forever. The Windows OS in turns goes BSOD @ boot forcing the User to reinstall Windows. Once installed, Window-Genuine Advantage locks the system until a valid License ( It ignores your current License) has been purchased if the computer is not using the latest version of Windows. If the user chooses to install Ubuntu only, instead of upgrade/purchase a new license, the Ubuntu OS will either a. Trash your system immediately ( hard drive failure, etc... ) or b. operate normally until the major code activation. If you own an OEM machine (HP, Dell, etc..), option (a) will occur. If your system is custom built, option (b) will occur.

*Disclaimer* None of this is accurate or true!

[julio_cortez]

Well I was not aware of this but I found something frightening.
Fire up a Konsole (or whatever you use for bash) and go to your home folder. It should already be there.
Now, what would you do to list the content?
ls
and that's right.

But there's more. Microsoft employees do NOT know Ubuntu enough, but they had somehow to control it, right? So they started porting MS-DOS commands to Linux, for it to be easier for them to control when the moment will come.
Don't you believe me? Go back to your Konsole and move to your home folder, now instead of ls just type
dir
which is a well-known Microsoft command that seems to have the same effect of ls.

Frightening, ain't it?

But there's even more. While the ls command is quite secure because it only shows you the content of the directory you're currently in, the dir command also PHONES HOME and tells THEM the content of the directory you're currently in.

And that's enough for now. I don't want to scare you with other things I've discovered.

[chessnerd]

You have no idea how far this goes, and you are messing with powers far beyond what you can comprehend, sir.

Shuttleworth knows, and he isn't happy about it. He can't do anything of course, Microsoft is holding his family. But he has left us a clue as to what will happen next. There is a reason that the Ubuntu team didn't back down from the window button issue...

You see, this code is not just an Ubuntu issue.

Microsoft was planning on just hitting Ubuntu when it reached 50% of the Linux desktop market (which occured a few months ago), but now they are going to wait longer. Why?

What does this have to do with the window buttons?

Microsoft is holding back because the code is scheduled to be included, disguised as "performance improvements," in the next release of the Darwin kernel. When Mac OS X 10.7 comes out, they will activate it to destroy the Mac market as well.

There's nothing you can do. It isn't the desktop team's fault. Heck, it isn't even Microsoft's fault, really. This goes farther than you could ever imagine. Let it go...

[quirkification]

Ubuntu is a test project FOR windows, and soon...windows 2012, Linux will become the new windows. Microsoft is going to activate the destruction button, and force all users to purchase Linux. Until you purchase a new OS from them you hard drives will be encrypted in a secure locate...somewhere near Area 51; which is owned by microsoft. They take alien software and make it 1000 times slower.