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guriinii
November 2nd, 2009, 09:39 PM
As a noob to the world of real computing, I am curious as to what good geeky jokes are out there.

For example:
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/upload/2006/08/sudo.gif

dragos240
November 2nd, 2009, 09:45 PM
Just search xkcd

guriinii
November 2nd, 2009, 10:48 PM
Thats a pretty cool site. Have a look at Rich Gentlemen Hide.

tkoco
March 27th, 2010, 03:54 PM
What is "black, white, black, white, black, white, black, white, ..."?

tkoco
March 27th, 2010, 03:55 PM
Answer: Tux, the penguin, rolling down a hill.



What is "white, black, white, black, white, black,...."?

tkoco
March 27th, 2010, 03:57 PM
Give up?

Tux's cousin ROFL because he pushed Tux.

tica vun
March 27th, 2010, 04:06 PM
Why do programmers mix up halloween and christmas?

Because OCT 31 == DEC 25

CharlesA
March 27th, 2010, 04:55 PM
*facepalm* I had to think about that one for a sec..

Junkieman
April 1st, 2010, 01:01 PM
A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and says: "Can I join you?"

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a hardware issue.

3rdalbum
April 1st, 2010, 02:42 PM
This is an old one, from the days of floppy disks.

Q. How many Macintosh users does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Two. One to get the new lightbulb, and the other one to poke around with a straightened paperclip to get the old bulb out.

TheSqueak
April 1st, 2010, 02:44 PM
Why do programmers mix up halloween and christmas?

Because OCT 31 == DEC 25

Came to tell that one.

You bastard ;)

GepettoBR
April 1st, 2010, 03:02 PM
A virus walks into a bar. the bartender says "we don't serve viruses in this bar". The virus replaces the bartender and says "now we do".

An infectious disease walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve infectious diseases in this bar." the infectious disease says "well you're not a very good host!"

A room-temperature superconductor walks into a bar. The bartender says "we don't serve superconductors in this bar". The room-temperature superconductor leaves without putting up any resistance.

Two bacteria walk into a bar. The bartender says "we don't serve bacteria in this bar". The bacteria say "that's okay, we work here. We're staff!"

A noble gas walks into a bar. the bartender says "we don't serve noble gases in this bar." The noble gas ignored him. The bartender yelled: "Hey YOU! We don't serve noble gases in this bar!" The noble gas did not react.

A neutrino walks into a bar. The bartender says !we don't serve neutrinos in this bar". The neutrino replies "that's cool, I'm just passing through."

Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

Doctor Mike
April 1st, 2010, 06:02 PM
The richest man in the world decide to buy a computer. Being the richest man in the world he decided to hire the smartest computer geek on the planet. The smartest computer geek on the planet (place name here) built a super computer that the NSA would die to have. He installed the most powerful and stable OS's in the world. A year after the project started he was done and he had created the ultimate super system.

The richest man in the world came to claim his toy. The smartest computer geek extolled the virtues of his creation describing the true power it would bring to the richest man in the world.

The richest man in the world studied the system for some time then asked, "How do I install windows"?

The smartest computer geek in the world began to vibrate and then vaporized into an explosive spontaneous combustive explosion.

The richest man in the world looked at the pink mist floating in the air, that was the smartest computer geek in the world, and said, "I guess you weren't windows compatible".


(original Doctor Mike 2010)

NightwishFan
April 1st, 2010, 06:16 PM
http://cache.techie-buzz.com/images/stories/2008/06/endoftheinternet.jpg

Doctor Mike
April 1st, 2010, 06:21 PM
http://cache.techie-buzz.com/images/stories/2008/06/endoftheinternet.jpgI think you upstaged me... cool,,,

NightwishFan
April 1st, 2010, 06:24 PM
Sorry you are incorrect. That is not my joke. ;)

Invention trumps a random link, I think I would vapourise too if that happened to me. Windows indeed, like it would even run on that hardware. :D

Doctor Mike
April 1st, 2010, 06:49 PM
Sorry you are incorrect. That is not my joke. ;)

Invention trumps a random link, I think I would vapourise too if that happened to me. Windows indeed, like it would even run on that hardware. :DYes, but there are two punch lines. The smartest computer geek should have anticipated the windows install question. As with most good things it comes and goes and comes again.

undecim
April 1st, 2010, 07:27 PM
152081

GepettoBR
April 1st, 2010, 08:16 PM
152081

I laughed way more than I should have. Nice and subtle.

krendar
April 1st, 2010, 08:25 PM
Larry Wall Quotes (http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Larry_Wall)

sudoer541
April 1st, 2010, 11:50 PM
ok here is one LOL!!!
ok ok ... OMG...OMG... this is funny .... ok ok ok ok!!! heheheheheh hhhhheeeehehehe !!!
people like to catch penguins (TUX) to make tuxedos!!!! ROFTL!!!!! {laughing like crazy, almost dropped the cup out of my hand!!!}

lol that was lol funny dont you think so lol?.... I mean it was LOL!!!
ok lol that lol was lol geeky lol!!!

Random_Dude
April 1st, 2010, 11:58 PM
http://www.stud.u-szeged.hu/Szaszko-Bogar.Viktor/BeRationalGetReal.gif

Daveski
April 2nd, 2010, 12:37 AM
Two plus two equals five, for very large values of two.

hydraulicjj
April 2nd, 2010, 12:39 AM
Why do programmers mix up halloween and christmas?

Because OCT 31 == DEC 25

Oh my goodness! It's a sign!

----------------
Now playing on iTunes: Diablo Swing Orchestra - Infralove (http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/diablo+swing+orchestra/track/infralove?locale=en-GB)
via FoxyTunes (http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/)

undecim
April 2nd, 2010, 12:44 AM
Oh my goodness! It's a sign!

----------------
Now playing on iTunes: Diablo Swing Orchestra - Infralove (http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/diablo+swing+orchestra/track/infralove?locale=en-GB)
via FoxyTunes (http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/)

Hmm... Jesus' bday is the same as the day of the demons?

undecim
April 2nd, 2010, 12:45 AM
ok here is one LOL!!!
ok ok ... OMG...OMG... this is funny .... ok ok ok ok!!! heheheheheh hhhhheeeehehehe !!!
people like to catch penguins (TUX) to make tuxedos!!!! ROFTL!!!!! {laughing like crazy, almost dropped the cup out of my hand!!!}

lol that was lol funny dont you think so lol?.... I mean it was LOL!!!
ok lol that lol was lol geeky lol!!!

Switch to decaf.

NightwishFan
April 2nd, 2010, 12:47 AM
Switch to decaf.

Switch to type O, police girl.

Daveski
April 2nd, 2010, 12:53 AM
Q. Why did the multi-threaded chicken cross the road?

A. other side To the get to.

Chronon
April 2nd, 2010, 02:33 AM
A physicist and a mathematician are in the faculty lounge having a cup of coffee when, for no apparent reason, the coffee machine bursts into flames. The physicist rushes over to the wall, grabs a fire extinguisher, and fights the fire successfully.

The same time next week, the same pair are there drinking coffee and talking shop when the new coffee machine goes on fire. The mathematician stands up, fetches the fire extinguisher, and hands it to the physicist, thereby reducing the problem to one already solved...

Chronon
April 2nd, 2010, 02:38 AM
152081

Is it supposed to be funny because it's a physics comprehension FAIL?

mcoleman44
April 2nd, 2010, 02:57 AM
switch to decaf.

+10

red_Marvin
April 2nd, 2010, 03:01 AM
Switch to decaf.

thatisnotreallythesymptomsoftomuchcaffeinejustfory ourinformationwheeee

GepettoBR
April 2nd, 2010, 03:03 AM
Is it supposed to be funny because it's a physics comprehension FAIL?

No, because of the Doppler effect applied to light.

Chronon
April 2nd, 2010, 03:11 AM
No, because of the Doppler effect applied to light.

If you are approaching the sign you will observe a blue-shift, not a red-shift -- i.e. physics comprehension failure.

red_Marvin
April 2nd, 2010, 03:12 AM
If you are approaching the sign you will observe a blue-shift, not a red-shift -- i.e. physics comprehension failure.
Exactly. So if the sign do appears to be blue you are obviously traveling too fast. It should not appear blue if sitting by your computer should it?

Chronon
April 2nd, 2010, 03:18 AM
Exactly. So if the sign do appears to be blue you are obviously traveling too fast. It should not appear blue if sitting by your computer should it?

So, because it appears red this means I am traveling away from the image at relativistic speeds? I'm still not getting the setup here.

red_Marvin
April 2nd, 2010, 03:21 AM
So, because it appears red this means I am traveling away from the image at relativistic speeds? I'm still not getting the setup here.
Or if the image is red at standstill.

Chronon
April 2nd, 2010, 03:23 AM
Or if the image is red at standstill.

LOL! It turns out it was my reading comprehension failure.

:D

CharlesA
April 2nd, 2010, 03:43 AM
Blue sign is still red..

ndefontenay
April 2nd, 2010, 03:53 AM
Oh my goodness! It's a sign!

----------------
Now playing on iTunes: Diablo Swing Orchestra - Infralove (http://www.foxytunes.com/artist/diablo+swing+orchestra/track/infralove?locale=en-GB)
via FoxyTunes (http://www.foxytunes.com/signatunes/)

That is a real geeky joke in the sense that it would take me about 2 hours of explaining how OCT 25 == DEC 31 before I can even make the joke.

><

ndefontenay
April 2nd, 2010, 03:55 AM
How many Microsoft Employees does it take to change a lightbulb?

Answer: None. They've declared darkness the new standard!

ndefontenay
April 2nd, 2010, 03:56 AM
Oh and how many Mac employees does it take to change a ligthbulb?

Answer: One. The Mac employee holds the lightbulb and expect the world to evolve around it!

nerdopolis
April 2nd, 2010, 02:56 PM
How many Linux people does it take to change a lightbulb?

None! they wrote a bash script to do it for them!

MichealH
April 2nd, 2010, 03:08 PM
How many Linux people does it take to change a lightbulb?

None! they wrote a bash script to do it for them!

How may terminals?

nerdopolis
April 2nd, 2010, 03:21 PM
I imagine they just need 1 terminal, and I imagine the arguments look like this


./change_light_bulb.sh DISCARD target=local.living_room.lamp2.bulb1
./change_light_bulb.sh NEW target=local.living_room.lamp2.bulb1 wattage=60 glass=soft_white type=a
:lolflag:
I admit I'm not savy enough to write such a script...
It probably would need this: http://orpp.sourceforge.net/

vambo
April 2nd, 2010, 05:20 PM
Quantum Tunnel Ahead

Use Both Lanes

lisati
April 2nd, 2010, 05:30 PM
I imagine they just need 1 terminal, and I imagine the arguments look like this


./change_light_bulb.sh DISCARD target=local.living_room.lamp2.bulb1
./change_light_bulb.sh NEW target=local.living_room.lamp2.bulb1 wattage=60 glass=soft_white type=a
:lolflag:
I admit I'm not savy enough to write such a script...
It probably would need this: http://orpp.sourceforge.net/

I'd probably have to come up with another script to increase the wattage so I could see properly.....

sudoer541
April 2nd, 2010, 06:32 PM
Switch to decaf.

ok o k lol lol this is funny!!!! ok o o OMG!!! its funny!!! :D *~L0L~*

just kiddin!!!

donkyhotay
April 2nd, 2010, 10:24 PM
I think my favorite geek jokes are the rootless root koans (http://www.catb.org/~esr/writings/unix-koans/).

NightwishFan
April 2nd, 2010, 10:34 PM
I think my favorite geek jokes are the rootless root koans (http://www.catb.org/~esr/writings/unix-koans/).

Good stuff.