The Great Bubble Gum/Chicken Thread

[NinjaNumberNine]

Okay, heres the rules:
I will Insert a Chicken crossing the road joke.
The next person will Insert a Chicken crossing the road joke.
The next person will Insert a Chicken crossing the road joke.
The next person will Insert a Chicken crossing the road joke.
The next person will Insert a Chicken crossing the road joke.
The next person will Insert a Chicken crossing the road joke.
The next person will Insert a Chicken crossing the road joke.
The next person will Insert a Chicken crossing the road joke.
...And so on. (Yes, you may use Google) :)

By the time no one can find anymore (when no one submits one within 2 days) the person with the most posts will be declared winner.

I will start:
Q: Why did the bubble gum cross the road?
A: It was stuck to the chicken's foot.

[#11u-max]

Q: why did teh chicken cross the busy road?
A: it was on a death wish

[#11u-max]

Q: why did the chicken cross the road?
A: because i tried to kill it!

[NinjaNumberNine]

Why did the spider cross the road?
to find a better web site

[#11u-max]

Q: why did NinjaNumberNine start this thread?
A: so #11u-max can win!

[#11u-max]

why did the chicken cross the road?

because it couldn't get outta the kfc bucket!

[NinjaNumberNine]

Q: why did NinjaNumberNine start this thread?
A: so #11u-max can win!
How did he guess...

[#11u-max]

why did teh shicken cross teh road?

to get away from this joke!

[philcamlin]

Q: Why did the chicken run across the road?
A: There was a car coming.
:popcorn:

google helped :D

whoa how did the writing turn green :D

[NinjaNumberNine]

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?


Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and
each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial
intent can never be discerned, because structuralism
is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore
synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the
objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came
into being which caused the actualization of this
potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic,
unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to
homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from
the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
transportation, so quite understandably the chicken
availed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow
out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello: Jealousy.

Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have,
you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the
Need to resist such a public Display of your own
lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in
town ought never expose one to such barbarous
inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the
chicken in question.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade
insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
to question the actions of one in all respects his
superior.

Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
misplaced concreteness.

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet: That is not the question.

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable: To get a better view.

[philcamlin]

why did the chicken cross the road?

because he wanted ninjanumber9's gum
:popcorn:

[#11u-max]

why did the chicken cross the road?

to help #11u-max win!!!!!!!!!!!

[NinjaNumberNine]

#11u-max Re: The Great Bubble Gum/Chicken Thread
why did the chicken cross the road?

to help #11u-max win!!!!!!!!!!! I am going to disqualify you if you don't get serious and post FUNNY jokes.

[#11u-max]

why did the chicken cross the road?

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

[#11u-max]

me why did the chicken cross the road?

richard m. nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.

[philcamlin]

why did the chicken cross the road?

Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!

why did gum cross the road

because the chicken was gonna eat him

[#11u-max]

why did the chicken cross the road?

charles darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

is this qualifiable material?

[#11u-max]

why did teh chicken cross the road?

moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

[NinjaNumberNine]

Re: The Great Bubble Gum/Chicken Thread
why did the chicken cross the road?

Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

is this qualifiable material? Si, Signor.
HOWEVER: You are quoting Charles Darwin, and thats illegal. [-(
You got that from this, right?:
Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?


Captain James T Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Richard Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?
Sigmund Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying insecurity.
Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, balance your checkbook and eat your neighbour.
Charles Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Official Chicken Representative: Because he wanted to. Do you not think that maybe chickens have rights too? If you crossed the road no one would question you.
To see her flat mate. No, hang on - that was the toad.
Colonel Sanders: I missed one?

[#11u-max]

so, to clear this up, i have to mention who i quoted if i quoted someone? to avoid plagerisim [sp?]

[#11u-max]

why did teh rooster cross teh road?

to prove he wasn't chicken!

[#11u-max]

why did the chicken cross teh road?

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's why "they" call it: the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

[NinjaNumberNine]

I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
I utterly agree- and yes I mean the people version.

[NinjaNumberNine]

Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change! JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
SARAH PALIN: You betcha he crossed the road, but let's not talk about that, let's talk about energy policy, and how gosh darn hard it is for a middle-class hockey mom to manage the budget of the only state in America with a massive surplus, especially while surrounded by countless Russian and Canadian chickens we have to keep an eye on.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! – that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
**** CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken...What is your definition of crossing?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain... alone.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

[#11u-max]

why did the chicken cross the road?

who cares? we're not the police! we have NO right to interrogate the chicken! can't they arrest us for harrassing the chicken? if the chicken crosses the road, what if he doesn't have a motive? what if this is all pointless blabbering? who cares?

[#11u-max]

why did the chicken cross the road?

he's tastier that way!

[#11u-max]

why did teh chicken cross teh road?

to go to teh store and put some minutes on his phone to get a ride back to teh coop!

[NinjaNumberNine]

tat wuhzent funy!

[#11u-max]

no, but it's acceptable material?

[steveneddy]

Because he's in my stomach and I'm going over there.

[#11u-max]

can't focus on chicken jokes, compiz is too cool to watch!

[NinjaNumberNine]

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Cause he thought he was a roadrunner.

[#11u-max]

why DIDN'T teh chicken finish crossing the road?

Wiley Cyote thought he was a roadrunner!

[NinjaNumberNine]

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Cause he saw a Chick-fil-A (http://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.chick-fil-a.com/&ei=7S9lSpDQO8GHtgf3wejuDw&sa=X&oi=spellmeleon_result&resnum=1&ct=result&usg=AFQjCNHGBIl9QHxb9PTKNLd-CH5-F5LrtQ)truck go by on his side of the street.

[#11u-max]

why did teh shicken cross the road?

'cause he saw colonel sanders walking towards him!!!

[NinjaNumberNine]

Q: why did the chicken cross the road?
A: For THIS
http://i595.photobucket.com/albums/tt39/tamannah_hoque/ChickenCartoon.jpg

[#11u-max]

holy guacamole!!!

why didn't the chicken like to wrestle?

he always got PENned down!

[NinjaNumberNine]

http://animal-world.com/newsfeed/images/ChickenJoke.jpg

[NinjaNumberNine]

http://www.offthemarkcartoons.com/cartoons/1995-02-17.gif