HOWTO: Avoid a Forum Civil War

[WildTangent]

HOWTO: Avoid a Forum Civil War

General guidelines for all involved:

1. CALM DOWN!
90% of all forum civil wars are caused by people who aren't calm. OK, so I made that statistic up, but the fact is, people who let their emotions take over make mistakes, accusatory comments, and rash decisions. You must avoid this.

2.Act professionally.
You're much more likely to be taken seriously if you behave and express yourself professionally. Well thought out sentences are much more professional than.
OMFG! STOP TELLING US WHAT TO DO!!!1!!!!

3. What do I want?
Now that you're calm, and acting professionally, think, what is it that you want done? Make sure that your requests are reasonable, and properly communicated. What is reasonable, and what isn't is open to interpretation, depending on who's reading. Generally, use your common sense, and if you're in doubt, post it anyway, and ask if it's acceptable.

4. Be polite.
If someone acknowledges your ideas, make sure you thank them for taking the time to read it, and consider it.

5. OK, I told them what I want, when do I get it?
You must be patient. Changes take time, the possible solutions must be discussed, possibly revised and agreed upon before they're put into action.

6. Sit back and reflect.
Learn from this experience, so hopefully it won't happen again.


Tips and words of wisdom for forum members:

-As insignificant as you may think you are, you aren't! If it weren't for you, the forum would have no purpose.

-You have every right to be happy with the forum you are a part of, and let your voice be heard if you are not.

-Always be grateful for the service the forum Administrators and Staff provide. They pay for it out of their own pocket, and volunteer their time to run it. thank the staff every now and then for the hard work they do.


Tips and words of wisdom for Staff members.

-Always listen to your members. You don't have to agree with their suggestions, but at least listen to them and give them some thought.

-Keep the members happy, and you will in turn be happy. Without the members, the forum ceases to serve anyone.

-Your job is definitely stressing, and frustrating, but you shouldn't let this cloud your judgement. If you're in need of a break, request one. You'll come back refreshed and ready to continue your good work.



If anyone has any additions, please, feel free to post them. This guide is in no way complete, or absolute, hopefully just a basic set of suggestions so that we can all keep the spirit of Ubuntu alive.

[KiwiNZ]

I really like this post

[ex`]

As do I. Just a pity that there's a need for this, as Linux users, out of all internet users, should be known to behave according to the netiquette.
Turns out it's just the same as anywhere else. *sheds a tear*

[benplaut]

While this is an awesome idea, it won't work. Will the arguers read this post?

I think you might add that you must consider all factors equally before voicing an opinion, and don't be afraid to voice your opinion (as long as you don't push it on others).

i said DO IT!!!111!1 DO IT NOW!!!!1111!!! ;)

[rjwood]

Great job wild.

I would suggest using the heck out of the backyard for rants or whatever you call it.

Try pm-ing someone who will likely remain neutral. (Real friends are good listeners-and not ready to advise quickly).

Remember that when someone attacks or seems to be attacking you, it is usually because they have a problem and are just projecting it on you. (We people are very good at that).

I would encourage everyone to remember that there are alot of young people in these forums. While most of these young people seem to be very intellegent and beyond their years, There is no substitute for experience. Remeber it is your chance to teach.

Some people just have different views. That's ok!

Some may have more knowledge about an 'extension issue' of what you are involved in. Take their advise if you want to. Ignore it if you chose but, never forbid them from sharing it and letting them believe that they are usefull too.
(a good friend once told me that it is nice to be important--and it is important to be nice).

Some will appreciate your hard work and some can't for whatever reason. (their problem--not yours).

Only be responsable for your own feelings and actions and nobody elses. And let them be responsable for theirs.

I hope this helps

[mattheweast]

Great post. Locking and stickying it would be really worthwhile, IMHO. I'm glad to see that this advice is being followed in some forum threads.

[KiwiNZ]

Great post. Locking and stickying it would be really worthwhile, IMHO. I'm glad to see that this advice is being followed in some forum threads.
Good idea Done for while anyway

[rjwood]

As do I. Just a pity that there's a need for this, as Linux users, out of all internet users, should be known to behave according to the netiquette.
Turns out it's just the same as anywhere else. *sheds a tear*

What we are witnessing here is, I believe the need for this forum to evolve. The willingness of people to share and display those things that are not alway's pretty. And the willingness of those able to tolorate it is encouraging. I will tell you a short story:

Every year when school would let out for summer recess. My house would be completely chaotic from our five young children having to now co-exist for a full day. My wife and I worked out of the house also. Not a big house either where you could avoid each other. Most parents would say "go out---go out". Not us> Our solution was that everyone had to stay in the house for most of the day together. We knew it was just getting used to each others presence again. It took exactly 2 weeks every year and at last it would calm down.

Avoiding difficulties is not a solution. Dealing with them is. Permitting them to be worked out with alot of discomfort and mental strain. But in the end it is all worth it. I believe that when forums reach this stage it is either make or break.

I have been reading alot of these threads and I believe that there are alot of really gifted people participating here. If we all listen to each other and get past this with dignity and integrity preserved for all members (who care that is). This forum will set a new standard.

You are gifted as well. Use your gifts to better the situation. Give input and we can get through this together.

[ex`]

What we are witnessing here is, I believe the need for this forum to evolve. The willingness of people to share and display those things that are not alway's pretty. And the willingness of those able to tolorate it is encouraging. I will tell you a short story:

Every year when school would let out for summer recess. My house would be completely chaotic from our five young children having to now co-exist for a full day. My wife and I worked out of the house also. Not a big house either where you could avoid each other. Most parents would say "go out---go out". Not us> Our solution was that everyone had to stay in the house for most of the day together. We knew it was just getting used to each others presence again. It took exactly 2 weeks every year and at last it would calm down.

Avoiding difficulties is not a solution. Dealing with them is. Permitting them to be worked out with alot of discomfort and mental strain. But in the end it is all worth it. I believe that when forums reach this stage it is either make or break.

I have been reading alot of these threads and I believe that there are alot of really gifted people participating here. If we all listen to each other and get past this with dignity and integrity preserved for all members (who care that is). This forum will set a new standard.

You are gifted as well. Use your gifts to better the situation. Give input and we can get through this together.
I fully agree with you there.
However, you forgot the "flamer" factor, which we've all been getting accustomed to the past years on internet.
Some people will always find a reason to flame, insult and/or step down on someone.
Eventhough we often make ourselves believe the world is all pink and fluffy, this forum needs to step up in cases where a so called "flamer" is at work.
Period. The "humanity for all" slogan, or the idealogy behind GPL/Linux shouldn't restrict us in dealing with these kind of people. Something which is currently the case in my honest opinion (see the "Forum properties" topic for more on this).

I like the idea behind this topic; but I'm unsure of its success.
Let's see it as the first step to a better ubuntuforums.org. ;)

Spread the love!

*takes his VW Van out of the garage and spraypaints the peace sign back on*

(Hm, I really don't make sense at 09:55AM)

[rjwood]

Thanks for the reply:)! I completely agree and I believe the flamers and spamers and whatever elsers will be delt with administratively.

There are administrators, there are peacemakers, there are developer, there are troubleshooters. All kinds of gifted people here and they will do their part really well. Right now there is a process of understanding guidelines and fairness issues. They will be worked out I am betting. Some real smart peole are addressing those issues. In the mean time I need to help however I can in a positive way. I don't understand alot of the issues as I have never been a part of this kind of thing before. I am totally totally ignorant of computers ( i am seeing that more and more every day) and forums. So I will let those who know the process better than me attend to those things. I will just try to be here and give whatever input I can. I am experienced in people. That is my helping hand.

[SYD2005]

Amen, Wild...really well said.

[az]

[They pay for it out of their own pocket,


By choice, at this point. Canonical has offered to pay to everything and only a small amount was accepted.

As for everything else, excellent. You rock!

[23meg]

I feel a need to say that I think terms used to define the recent "hot period" the forums have gone through such as "in-fighting", "civil war", "community controversy" are overstatements. The events are perhaps being overstated because previously everything has been too calm (calmer than any community I've seen, and this almost disturbed me) and that's what everyone is used to.

[WildTangent]

I feel a need to say that I think terms used to define the recent "hot period" the forums have gone through such as "in-fighting", "civil war", "community controversy" are overstatements. The events are perhaps being overstated because previously everything has been too calm (calmer than any community I've seen, and this almost disturbed me) and that's what everyone is used to.
I feel a need to address this.

While I did use the term "Civil War" in my title, I did it mostly for emphasis, and because I believe that left unsettled, the recent events could turn into a civil war of sorts. I am in no way trying to overstate the current situation, which as far as forums go, is pretty normal. All forums go through something like this eventually, but it's how its dealt with that either kills the forum, or allows it to continue on, better than before. Hopefully in this case, it will be the latter, and not the former. Thankyou for bringing that up, it definately needed clarification.

As for the other comments, thankyou. I didn't think this thread would be so well recieved. Honestly, I was expecting some hatemail in my PM inbox.

As for additions to my guide. For now, I think I will only edit in my own ideas, so that other submissions are not confused as my own. Please do continue submitting more ideas though, I think this thread has the potential to do much good. :)

-Wild

[ubuntu_demon]

WildTangent good stuff !

[angkor]

Ahhh!!! Reason!

Thanx for starting a thread which I think reflects a _lot_ of users thought about this 'strange' situation. It certainly reflected mine...

I was beginning to think all sanity had left this wonderful forum after reading countless posts and threads without seeing the point to it all...

Thanks for snapping me out of it, I will continue to read (and post in) the technical threads and the light-hearted ones in the Chat....:)

[matthew]

I hadn't noticed this thread until just now...somehow I missed it.

Anyway, to WildTangent: well said.

Avoiding difficulties is not a solution. Dealing with them is.Truly wise words. I greatly appreciated your whole post, for the sake of saving space I only quoted this bit. Sometimes you have to embrace the potential for chaos in the short term to have resolution in the long term--I far prefer that to a cold (or hot) war.

Edit: added the last sentence.

[fourchannel]

no civil war? blast!

and I was all like, I'm gonna fight for the Union!

_______________________________________________


KIDDING!!!! totally kidding, don't kill me =D
________________________________________________

Yall summed up some of my thoughts quite nicely, well stated, and well recieved. gratz.

[Kyral]

I'm really glad that the Resolution Center was opened. I hate all the fighting. Now if you could unban me from #ubuntuforums, I need to talk with bored2k about some anime ;P

[bonzodog]

In the interests of peace the ban has been lifted. But please, just be more careful with your words.

[henriquemaia]

Very inspiring post.

Thanks a lot for the wise advices here. :)